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Social Group
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Grief recovery- Share your loss

Group Created by Keeper

For those who have lost a parent, spouse or child and need a place to chat with others who understand your pain

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Showing Social Group Messages 1 to 10 of 124
  1. Andy1067
    08-10-2015 04:43 PM - permalink
    Andy1067
    My mother passed away in Feb 2015. The last words she spoke were: "I found it, I finally found the black hole, happy, happy"
    I have been searching to find and answer and/or meaning behind these words, to no avail unsuccessfully.
    If anyone could shed some light on this,
    Thank you, Gail (still sole searching)
  2. hopedelivers
    09-24-2012 11:04 AM - permalink
    hopedelivers
    Hi everyone this is my first post in the Grief Recovery Group. You see I seem that I can't let go of everyone I have lost over the years the first being my sister who died of suicide of the tender young age of 25. She was a substance abuser and was institutionalized at a woman facility in MA called "Framingham Correctional Institution". She was under a 15 minute suicide watch. The guard went to check on her and found she had put a piece of tissue in her peep hole. The guard opened the door and took the tissue out and told her not to do it AGAIN. This should of set off bells and whistles. She should of checked on her five minutes later or put her in another holding cell with only wearing a paper Jonie and a bare mattress on the floor and bedpan for bathroom privileges with a camera in the room so she could be constantly be watched but instead left her in the same room with sheet on her bed. When she went back TWENTY MINUTES later (all documented in her log book, my father got all the copies of her records which was like pulling teeth which took about six months to get, but with political ties he got them). The guard found my sister laying on the floor with a sheet wrapped around her neck and the sheet tied from the top bunk bed!!!! At this point she was already dead but the guard started CPR and got her heart beating again...they called the paramedics which took her to a hospital in Framingham. I had just left my house to go grocery shopping just about to get into my van when my boyfriend at the time came running outside and said I had to come back in the house it was an emergency. I went back in the house he took me into the bedroom held me by my shoulders looking deeply into my eyes, you see even though there is a nine year age difference in our age me being the oldest we were best friends, he told me what happened and instantly my knees buckled under and I fell to the floor. The pain was so intense in my heart I thought it was going to explode. My father and step-mother picked me up and we went to the hospital. Of course she was in the intensive care unit and when we went in to see her I burst into tears and my father was completely devastated he completely fell apart. We consoled each other while my cold blooded step-mother just stood there. You see it was her fault Maureen killer herself. She was to be released the next day and phoned my father and asked if she could stay with him at their condo, they had an extra empty bedroom. My step-mother said NO. Maureen didn't want to go back to our hometown knowing she would go back to her old ways and she wanted to stay clean with the help from my father, he was always there for her when she needed him. That's why she hung herself she was sick and tired of being sick and tired...You see my step-mother always let her two sons live with them when they were in a jam and needed a place to stay and my father fully supported them, no charging any rent and paid for all there food, that's the kind of man my father was...he was my HERO...well Maureen had a very strong heart and it took until the next day to die...also there was a guard posted outside of her door!!! I went to guard and asked her why she was there I said, "What do you think, she's going to get up off the bed and try to run away!!!" She replied back to me, "She's state property and I have to stay here until she dies!!!!" I sat there watching the Dr. doing the tests making sure she was brain dead pushing a big fat needle filled with ice water into each of her ears getting no pain response. He then put a pencil between her toes and them pushed them down and squeezed them again no pain response she was then pronounced CLINICALLY DEAD!!!! She started getting goose pumps all over her body stupid me of course she was and only had a sheet on her covering up to her chin. The nurse complied and got a nice warm blanket and covered her up. She had blood coming out of her nose, eyes and ears. Such a horrible site to see. My father and step-mother had left the room he was so devistated and she was consoling him outside of the room, they had a long bench surrounding the intensive care unit. I sat with Maureen I wouldn't leave her side holding her hand when the maching started making a very loud beeping sound...My father and step-mother came running into the room and stood there because I was alrady sitting ther holding her hand, the nurse ran in checked Maureen and said this is the end, I look at the monitor and watched it flat line...the nurse asked us to leave so she could clean her up and we could say our final goodbyes...I ran out of the room crying so hard I thought I was going to pass out, again the pain was so intense I really thought my heart was going to explode. The nurse called us into another room where Maureen laid on a bed again with the sheet up to her chin. I went to her sobbing along with my father, I then stood up and pulled that dam sheet down to see what they were hiding, now I wish I hadn't I had nightmares after. Her throat from her chin down about four fingers wide was purple and red again I thought I was going to faint, I got dizzy and fell into my fathers arms and he held me tight while we both sobbed thogether. We finally kissed her goodbye and left to go home. Till this day I talk to her everyday, I can't get her out of my mind, I am on a waiting list seeking therapy to try to get over all my losses, oh there a quite a bit more that I will share at another time but now she was my first loss. I use to go to her grave everyday for two years, my Dr. said this was very unhealthy and told me to stop, so I stoped. I then got a new job and guess what it was right down the street form the cemetary where she is buried, I started having my lunch hour talking to here. I used to ask her if she was cold in the winter, I use to lay on her grave, was I losing my mind? Nobody tells you how to handle grief. I still can't handle it because family members keep dying!!!!
  3. meemy
    11-21-2011 08:19 PM - permalink
    meemy
    This seems like a safe place where no one comes any more, so...another deep black day, Sweetheart child of mine; I'm not even pretending to be "normal" today. Tough luck for anyone who may come by.

    I awoke to the miracle instant (must have dreaming of you) where we are back there before the horror but then, quick as a flash, the reality came thundering in...again, then the confusion, the rage and the endless searing pain.

    How are you? Where are you? What are you? Do you hear me? I'll never stop talking to you on the chance that maybe, just maybe, you can hear me. I promise to not be such a downer tomorrow, but today I simply lack the energy to find my way out of the pain.
    You know you have my heart, always.
    f t skies Behba, f t skies.
    .
  4. Miss Blue
    08-05-2011 06:34 PM - permalink
    Miss Blue
    Hello all, I have not visited here for a very long time..I dropped by today and am heartbroken that I ever left this group....My heart and prayer is with everyone who has posted here in the hopes of finding comfort during their grief..Our grief is with us for a season it aids in our healing then the pleasant memories begin to bring smiles back to our faces and we know that life is a precious gift and that death is not necesarily final.
    Hugs friends..
  5. The Dissenter
    06-23-2011 12:17 PM - permalink
    The Dissenter
    I lost my dad to liver cirroshis on 1/31/2011. We didn't have the best relationship but I miss him a lot.
  6. kennedy.bryan
    05-10-2011 01:09 PM - permalink
    kennedy.bryan
    Hi my name is kennedy i'v lost my aunt she lived with my parents and she and her daughter were going back to alabama to live with her sister and one day she and her daughter were in the park and her the father of her only child came out of no where and point a gun to her she told her daughter to run to safety and brooklyn didn't want to because she wanted to be with her mom well he shot my aunt in the back of her neck and she was rushed to the hospital and well she didn't live to long and so everything was rerange in case she died and she died on christmas day 2002 and the baster who did was in prison but missippiie has law that says if you work in prison you can out before your sentence and well he got out and now brooklyn still lives with her aunt .
  7. selogo12
    04-24-2011 03:37 AM - permalink
    selogo12
    hello everybody, and let me first say that Iam glad to met you, however so sorry for why. Iam 40 years old. I am the youngest of 7 kids, and my life has been hell sense the age of 11 when my dad spanked me for the first time and after I prayed like young kids to for my dad to die. He died that next day. I remember being a sweet young girl then in a split second I changed. I can see who I was, but I cant reach her. I know she is gone forever. My dad at the age of 37 died of a massive heart attack. Then in 98 my sister age 33 died of a heart attack. Then again, a sister of a brain anurisum. Again, 6 year old nephew brain anurisum, again sister 35 strep throat ignored again, aunt jan 19,2006 heart that same day my mom went down with a stroke, died two day later on the 21st. the day of her funeral, my grandpa died. Following that in Aug. my step dad who raised me my whole life died on my daughtors birthday. Ok, basicly Iam who is left out of 7. I do have my two children, as well as my siblings children which I really dont get to see much at all. I lost all parents, all grandparents, aunts, uncles, and the only way I can exspess how I feel is "suffication." I laugh but it is not ever real, I smile, but without that sparkle that people get, I live my life, waiting for my turn to see my family again. I have been having chest pains, pressure ect.. the past two days. But I dont really want to go to the hospital. But I dont want to put my kids threw loosing me. I dont know. I just want to say hello to you all, and I hope I can help you in some way. Please email me if you want, I will do anything to help anybody. Bless your souls.
  8. dzane
    04-05-2011 10:51 PM - permalink
    dzane
    Does anyone ever come here? I lost my wife of 36 years February 12, 2011 to mesothelioma. I am in a hurting condition.
  9. joyheart07
    08-21-2010 08:51 PM - permalink
    joyheart07
    Hi everyone. Just lost my husband...he passed away last July 8, 2010 due to sudden cardiac arrest leaving me with a 7 month old baby. Gone too soon. He was in the Army National Guard, served Iraq 3x, hence he had a very honorable burial service with a 21 gun salute. I must tell you that it was really a sudden...shocking thing...we were just starting to build our family....I miss my husband. But he always say to me..."be tough Mama"...it's rough,,,,but I gotta' be tough.
  10. warmonkey23
    07-17-2010 07:23 AM - permalink
    warmonkey23
    I myself have dealt with a number of losses and my heart goes out to all of you who know this desperate feeling. I have lost 2 dear friends to suicide, 1 to drugs, and yet another to a car accident. I lost my father to homicide when I was seven and my best friends mother (whom was like my own) when I was 12 to a heart attack. I have lost several relatives in the past couple of years to cancer and just last year a close friend lost his four year old son to brain cancer . I find the hardest part of loss to be the ensuing explanation to young children about why the person is not coming back....

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