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Whoah now! If you use the correct kind and color for your hair, it most certainly is good for your hair, improves the texture dramatically and is nottoxic, especially with all the good conditioning that most contain today. And, salt & pepper hair just looks unkept on a woman (makes men look great, darn it), IMO... especially splotchy as the OP described!
I personally don't think it's a matter of wanting to look younger... but, instead, looking the BEST you can... at ANY age! Frankly, white only washes most every complexion out... and makes one looked aged, no matter what their age is. And, trust me, any of the truely beautiful white hair that you see out there is not "natural", it has been "helped" with a number of products to maintain its' beauty.
If one chooses to let it go "natural", so be it. But, don't think for a minute it looks good... on anyone.
That is the whole family's opinion. Even the g/kids are like - why doesn't she do something w/ that hair? I did not even fully describe how bad it is to those who may think this is just a hang up in my family, LOL. The grey is not even grey - it is like - yellowed looking. We have even suggested - let a good hair colorist bleach out the remaining dark stuff and then do a platinum if she wants all white.
And to anyone who may have misunderstood - we have not talked to her about this in years b/c she gets so angry about it. Instead, we have to sit and listen to her complain how lousy her hairdressers are . . . and this conversation goes on and on for 45 minutes. The whole family. Sitting their listening to how awful her hair dressers are when we all know the real truth is . . . she needs to do something w/ the color of her hair! At least that - even if she keeps the 50s hair style and perm.
My sisters and I are not trying to make her look younger! The woman is obviously not happy w/ her hair or she wouldn't be complaining all the time! And we sisters talk about our hair color, stylists, etc. in front of her - trying to get her to think about how we use haircolor - in fact - use more than just coloring - foiling . . . and our hubbies and our father compliment us in front of her so she will HOPEFULLY get the idea . . .
So if she were not complaining religiously about how awful her hair looks, maybe we would all just ignore the hair . . . but that is NOT what is happening here (and has been going on for - oh - about 20 years - since it really started looking bad - and then - bad to worse).
I have bought her two wigs in years past - just suggesting to her maybe this would be nice to have in between getting her hair fixed b/c she had surgery - and maybe that would make her feel better. Lighter shade than her natural color but similar . . . and she said it just made her feel fake, LOL. So I thought the wigs might be a good idea, too . . .
I would give my right arm -- just to be able to LOOK at my mother again !!! Just be happy you still have her and LEAVE HER ALONE !!
Whoooa there . . . I am sorry you no longer have your mother. If you had to listen to mine rant and rave for 45 min. stretches every time you saw her, you might understand how unpleasant this is for the whole family and that frankly, we avoid her b/c of this ongoing issue that none of us seems to know how to solve.
I wish you could see your mother again, too, and hopefully one day you will . . . and someday I will miss my mother, too, but right now . . . every family gathering is marred by her tirades about her hair.
Leave her alone. Shes in her 70s and earned every gray hair. Color is toxic,
looks fake,expensive, and bad for the hair. Im sure she doesnt look so bad.
Its pressure to look younger than we are that drives me crazy. Whats so
bad about getting older. Its life,and its too short to worry about stuff like
this. JMHO
Greenchili
I believe in growing old gracefully, too, and if someone doesn't want to "look younger," that is his/her decision. This has nothing to do w/ getting older or wanting to look younger. Her hair looks crappy and otherwise, she is an attractive elderly lady. The point is - she complains about how bad her hair looks - blaming it on her hairdressers - when the reason it looks bad has nothing to do w/ hairdressers - it has to do w/ her refusal to do something - ANYTHING - w/ her hair color. Plus she has upset many a hairdresser and been so rude we daughers have had to call and smooth things over b/c she made a scene in the salon. I guess I didn't draw the picture right. Her hair is a BIG PROBLEM for a lot of people and we dont' know what to do about it.
I believe in growing old gracefully, too, and if someone doesn't want to "look younger," that is his/her decision. This has nothing to do w/ getting older or wanting to look younger. Her hair looks crappy and otherwise, she is an attractive elderly lady. The point is - she complains about how bad her hair looks - blaming it on her hairdressers - when the reason it looks bad has nothing to do w/ hairdressers - it has to do w/ her refusal to do something - ANYTHING - w/ her hair color. Plus she has upset many a hairdresser and been so rude we daughers have had to call and smooth things over b/c she made a scene in the salon. I guess I didn't draw the picture right. Her hair is a BIG PROBLEM for a lot of people and we dont' know what to do about it.
Ok, try this then:
Tell your Mom you found a really nice hairdresser that brushes on shampoo, instead of the old way. Her hair will turn out so much better if she tries it. Which will in fact be someone coloring her hair. So you have to lie a little..lol
Otherwise, everyone just has to put up with hair horror stories or better yet, if everyone quit commenting on it, maybe she will stop it. She may like an audience. And it's a way of getting attention.
As for my Mom, I don't care if she wants to be gray or color her hair, it's her prerogative. To each their own.
Ok, try this then:
Tell your Mom you found a really nice hairdresser that brushes on shampoo, instead of the old way. Her hair will turn out so much better if she tries it. Which will in fact be someone coloring her hair. So you have to lie a little..lol
Otherwise, everyone just has to put up with hair horror stories or better yet, if everyone quit commenting on it, maybe she will stop it. She may like an audience. And it's a way of getting attention.
As for my Mom, I don't care if she wants to be gray or color her hair, it's her prerogative. To each their own.
ROFL!!! I love that - brushes it on! HEE HEE. Heck - maybe it would work.
Thanks for adding to the ideas . . . and believe me, it is her perogative and we are her captive audience, regardless, LOL. I think what an earlier poster wrote is very apt - she just doesn't see herself as the world does - I guess she realizes something "aint right" or she wouldn't stay angry about her hair - but she just sees herself differently than the world. And also - the whole stigma in her mind about "dying one's hair." Just sad at her age that she would spend so much time on herself - makeup and clothing - and stay frustrated b/c she doesn't present herself as she wants . . . yet won't listen to advice. At her age, she is only getting more stubborn, not more cooperative and surely not easier to deal with - so I guess we will just sit and listen to the complaining and . . . life will go on, LOL.
I for one refuse to color my hair because it is a costly habit. With hair as dark as mine it would cost me 120$ every month and a half! (to get a decent colorist that is) Thank goodness, my natural hair is a decent color!!
Oh hell. Strain a bit of Stoli's blueberry vodka through ice and pour it into a martini glass. Then just add the slightest touch of Pomegranate juice. No, what am I saying--make a couple of pitchers of it. Invite your mom and couple of friends/relatives over, get a box of Loreal and POOF--problem solved. If her hair ends up looking like crap you can just blame it on the martinis. Even that has a bright side; she'll have to go to a salon to get it fixed. You could even do that on purpose...use a hair coloring with a purplish tinge, to go with the whole Pomegranate theme so she'll be forced to get professional help.
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! mine is just the same!!!!
