Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
White people need to stop being so intrusive, commenting or demanding to know any and everything about black culture and telling what we should do with our hair/bodies. It is very insensitive.
We don't owe any one an explanation as to why we style our hair in the various ways that we do. We have hair that allows for such versatility.
Right! Proud AA women here.
There are many things that white women do that black women don't do like tanning, lip injections etc. Stop criticizing (making it seems like curiosity) and take comfort that we are all different and beautiful the way we want to be. We don't style our hair a certain way to adapt to what white or other cultures think is correct.
K. Michelle spoke on something very interesting today. She said that when black women have conrows, they are threaten with being fired from their job but when other cultures like the Kardashian and Iggy wear them they are on the cover of Vogue. She also hit on the body image fact that AA women have always had full lips, butts and curvy bodys but it wasn't the thing until other cultures decided it was the thing. My point is it's not for us as AA women to justify or explain our style, culture or place in society. We are who we want to be and that is all you need to know. We don't need for you to understand. Just saying!
Last edited by KayAnn246; 12-14-2017 at 07:39 PM..
There are many things that white women do that black women don't do like tanning, lip injections etc. Stop criticizing (making it seems like curiosity) and take comfort that we are all different and beautiful the way we want to be. We don't style our hair a certain way to adapt to what white or other cultures think is correct.
K. Michelle spoke on something very interesting today. She said that when black women have conrows, they are threaten with being fired from their job but when other cultures like the Kardashian and Iggy wear them they are on the cover of Vogue. She also hit on the body image fact that AA women have always had full lips, butts and curvy bodys but it wasn't the thing until other cultures decided it was the thing. My point is it's not for us as AA women to justify or explain our style, culture or place in society. We are who we want to be and that is all you need to know. We don't need for you to understand. Just saying!
I'm white myself and don't get the tanning and lip injections either Why would someone go out of their way to intentionally damage their skin--veterans of tanning & tanning booths look like old leather after years of it--yuk!
I agree that everyone needs to stop questioning, offering critiques. I personally love natural black hairstyles but if some black women opt to use weaves or relaxers then that should also be fine.
The issue with hairstyles has shown up in my workplace as well. Our office is not formal and there is no specific guidelines for hairstyles. We hired a black woman who started to wear her hair in cornrows, twists, and other similar styles. One of the managers complained about it and started telling me to "do something". So I did do something and made the policy regarding hairstyles more specific and said that cornrows, braids, dreads...etc were acceptable. The manager didn't get it, he asked why she couldn't just "brush her hair straight" and wear it like that
I'm white myself and don't get the tanning and lip injections either Why would someone go out of their way to intentionally damage their skin--veterans of tanning & tanning booths look like old leather after years of it--yuk!
I agree that everyone needs to stop questioning, offering critiques. I personally love natural black hairstyles but if some black women opt to use weaves or relaxers then that should also be fine.
The issue with hairstyles has shown up in my workplace as well. Our office is not formal and there is no specific guidelines for hairstyles. We hired a black woman who started to wear her hair in cornrows, twists, and other similar styles. One of the managers complained about it and started telling me to "do something". So I did do something and made the policy regarding hairstyles more specific and said that cornrows, braids, dreads...etc were acceptable. The manager didn't get it, he asked why she couldn't just "brush her hair straight" and wear it like that
Love hearing stories of people standing up and with each other. I don't understand why people always think their way is the right way. If we were all the same, man would this world be boring and generic!
Interesting. AA posters are offended about a white person's observation about how their hair looks better natural, when the observation is actually more accepting than the AA's community to natural hair. Having suffered verbal attacks and attitudes from black women for going natural (I don't have the coveted "biracial"/3C type hair with curl definition), I have to wonder what this offense is all about. Is it really a case of a white person demanding that blacks justify their hair to them? Or are people just using the OP's skin color as an excuse to reject this notion that black hair looks better in its natural state?
I am truly not wanting to be confrontational here:
As a white guy, I think African American women look best when their hair is styled in ways that make use of the way it is. Braids, cornrows, or the "natural" whether small, medium, or large.
As a child of the 60s, it seems that the efforts to straighten hair that just doesn't want to be straight, are a holdover from old fashioned ideas; but hair straightening is still very much a thing.
Is there a way to discuss this respectfully, or as other people have suggested, do the white people just need to be quiet about this issue, given the sensitivity of it and the way it relates not only to racial identity but also to the way women in our culture are made to feel ugly?
Is there a way to discuss this respectfully, or as other people have suggested, do the white people just need to be quiet about this issue, given the sensitivity of it and the way it relates not only to racial identity but also to the way women in our culture are made to feel ugly?
I personally don't think you "need to be quiet" if you're speaking no less objectively about this than you would, say, anything else that may look bad on people (spray tans, plastic surgery, etc.). If black women look worse with fake hair than they do with their own hair, then they look worse with fake hair than they do with their own hair. Why does someone need to be a certain color to see and observe that?
White people need to stop being so intrusive, commenting or demanding to know any and everything about black culture and telling what we should do with our hair/bodies. It is very insensitive.
We don't owe any one an explanation as to why we style our hair in the various ways that we do. We have hair that allows for such versatility.
another sistah but I have to ask, what's wrong with asking a question??
Seriously, I do wear kinky twist, mainly in the summer because I swim a lot and it makes my life easier. I enjoy when my Caucasian sisters ask questions about my hair.
Heck, I ask questions all the time. as someone mentioned previously I'm forever asking about the concept of tanning. I go to the beach in the summer and the idea of laying out in the hot sun forever boggles my mind.
I personally don't think it's insensitive at all and I much rather someone ask me my opinion than come to their own erroneous conclusions. Now of course I'm assuming that most folks ask politely. if someone says "hey nappy head, why the braids" that's different.
If someone suddenly cuts their very long hair short, yes I do ask "wow, why did you go short". Not sure if I see that as needing an "explanation"
and every time I see a young man white or Black, wearing his pants droppy, without a belt, you best believe I'm asking why is he walking around looking like he dropped a turd in his pants. that is the most ridiculous style ever.
lol, so C-D I gladly offer to be the "black" friend, fell free to ask me anything you wish to know.
Interesting. AA posters are offended about a white person's observation about how their hair looks better natural, when the observation is actually more accepting than the AA's community to natural hair. Having suffered verbal attacks and attitudes from black women for going natural (I don't have the coveted "biracial"/3C type hair with curl definition), I have to wonder what this offense is all about. Is it really a case of a white person demanding that blacks justify their hair to them? Or are people just using the OP's skin color as an excuse to reject this notion that black hair looks better in its natural state?
Excuse the confusion but I changed my username yesterday from Singlelady10 to the current one.
Back to the subject..... It's offensive because most people do not style themselves to make or attract acceptances from other cultures. Just like Native Americans, Asians, Latin people have their own style around their culture. I'm not familiar with some of the cultural normals of Irish dress (just an example) but I would never leave a group of people to feel they need to conform to MY or even a different standard of normal beauty or style. Just because you don't understand it or like it doesn't mean it's not acceptable or beautiful to that group of people.
As a grown adult, I would think that is an obvious reflection. It's uncomforting to know that it is mostly women that create this negative narrative. As women, we get it enough from the standards that some men and the media pressure us to be and accept.
As a woman, I would not reflect my standard of beauty on anyone because women are strong, powerful and lovely regardless of culture and age.
But most white women are made to feel that as you get older and the wrinkles start to show before 40, you must make yourself look younger anyway you can or you will be drowned out by younger women. Knowing how that pressure feels, why would you reflect that same standard on any other woman?
That's the offense. We need to uplift each other because there are so many other things to worry about than another culture's hair, the way they dress, how they cook, etc. There are natural disasters, war, cancer, homeless, global warming, murders, etc. In other words, let's grown up and be the best reflect of ourselves we can be regardless. Teach our children to be more accepting of people differences.
I do not understand why most white women get botox, fillers, tans, face lifts etc but if that is what they think is beautiful to them Ok, no problem. I don't have to understand it. They are not doing it to please me so people should stay in their lane.
Turf3, I don't think it's as much about being quiet as being accepting. At the end of the day, women shouldn't conform to the standards of others.
I personally don't think you "need to be quiet" if you're speaking no less objectively about this than you would, say, anything else that may look bad on people (spray tans, plastic surgery, etc.). If black women look worse with fake hair than they do with their own hair, then they look worse with fake hair than they do with their own hair. Why does someone need to be a certain color to see and observe that?
White women wear as much fake hair as black women do with the clip in and sew-ins so pointing to one race is out of line, period.
White women wear as much fake hair as black women do with the clip in and sew-ins so pointing to one race is out of line, period.
They don't wear nearly "as much." This is just a myth to deflect from the justifiable criticism about black women continuing to weave, fry, and braid their hairlines into oblivion in excessive numbers.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Why would someone go out of their way to intentionally damage their skin--veterans of tanning & tanning booths look like old leather after years of it--yuk!
