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I have very thick, heavy, wavy hair w/ lots of weird wave patterns & cowlicks. Tends to look "bumpy" & puffy. Also, lots of grey hair which I color myself but when the grey hair starts to grow in at the roots, it adds more coarseness & unnecessary volume. I'm over 45 & wear my hair short & in layers. (Please don't suggest that the ONLY solution is to avoid layers, let my hair my hair grow long and/or straighten it-- these are all things I hear all the time but just won't work for me: it would take about 2 years to grow out the layers & grow my hair long & I DON'T want to straighten it-- what's wrong with the look of waves??!!)
Hoping there's someone here with similar type of hair, who also wears it shorter & in layers, who can offer me their tips about what's worked best for them: dealing with hairstylists who try to cut your hair as if it's straight, fine & in one length, never paying attention to the wave patterns, hairstylists who seem obsessed with ADDING VOLUME to hair when I want just the opposite, want my hair closer to my head, thinner, LESS VOLUME, decrease the puffy hair, 80's hair look!! Best ways to thin out the hair, decrease the heaviness of it-- razor cutting? or other methods?
Also would be interested in hearing from hair professionals here, sorry if I sound so frustrated with you guys but I've had some horrible hair experiences!! Questions for the hairstylists here:
-- best way to cut hair like mine? dry cut? best ways to decrease volume? What wording should I use when describing to a hairstylist the type of haircut/hairstyle I want? Don't think I know the right technical terms, what are they?
-- how do you react when a customer states they don't want to fuss with their hair, just want to shampoo, deep condition & air dry? I hate blow-drying my hair & usually avoid using hair products-- gels, etc-- don't like how they make my hair feel! Want my hair to feel as soft as possible, not stiff! And if my hair is cut right, that should be enough! The rare times I've gotten a good haircut, my hair works great without any fussing-- have lots of "body" to my hair, want it to just "fall into place." However, in the past, seems like if I'm upfront about not wanting to spend lots of time styling my hair or use lots of products besides shampoo/conditioner, hairstylists react negatively to this & try to convince me that I HAVE TO fuss with my hair/use hair products or it won't look right. Isn't anyone out there able to cut hair so it'll look good without having to do this?
I guess many hairstylists are expected to "push" their salon's hair products or are supposed to convince customers that they need to do lots of blow-drying/styling on their own? So should I just keep quiet about my desire to avoid these things? Do any hairstlists respect their customers' wishes? For the hairstylists out there who would respect my wishes not to fuss with my hair, how would you suggest I word this desire to a new stylist? (mmm, more technical terms involved here?) Would appreciate practical suggestions about how to describe what I want in a hair salon!!!
Just how short do you currently wear it and how short are you willing to go? I am a former hairstylist...Well I still do it on the side. I would love to see a current picture of your style!
I have very similar hair, although mine is long right now, and so far the only thing I've really learned is unless I want to spend a lot of time on it or I get it straightened, ponytails, headbands and the occasional bandana are my friends. I know that's not what you want to hear and hopefully someone else will have good advice.
Hey Danielle,
Sorry, don't have any photos for you, right now my hair looks so bad, wouldn't want any pictures taken! As far as the length, not sure how to describe it, it's above my shoulders, closer to my head, supposed to be "shaped" around my ears. (maybe should have gone to cosmetology school to learn the technical terms to describe this?!)
My current style is a mess! Got it cut 3 weeks ago after trying to grow it out for almost 3 months. The previous two times, this particular stylist did a fantastic job when she cut my hair, so I felt confident in her, but it was such a shock how badly she cut my hair this time! (and it wasn't even a rush job, the salon wasn't at all busy that time of day & she spent a lot of time on my hair, which makes it doubly perplexing!) For one thing, she seemed annoyed that I went so long without cutting it & that I had colored it myself at home instead of with her. Kept pushing me to get the color done next time at the salon even though I told her I was VERY pleased with my own results! Then she kept pushing hair products at me when I've told her I don't like to use them. (She NEVER did this before so maybe the salon management has ordered this due to bad economic conditions?)
Needless to say, I got a horrible haircut from her-- maybe her version of a "Punishment Haircut"?!! So different from the last few times when my hair looked great for weeks after she did it! After months of trying to letg my hair grow longer, when I finally got it cut, what I wound up with was a horrible "bowl" cut that stuck out on the top & sides, making my face look even wider, which I don't need at all! (I have a small, roundish face & now had BIG HAIR!!) Was so depressed at how bad I looked that for 2 or 3 nights afterward, I stood at the bathroom mirror trying to trim it myself-- I know, not the best thing to do, but not sure I made it that much worse, although no big improvements either! (I was afraid to go back to this stylist to ask her to "correct" the haircut, worried she'd butcher my hair even worse, definitely will never use her or that salon again!)
Guess this experience helps to explain my frustration with my hair & with hairstylists! I know I have "challenging" hair-- all my life I've wished I had soft, smooth, sleek, straight hair which is easier to cut. My hair actually looks great with the right haircut, but even if I find a stylist who does it right a few times, they either leave the area or go crazy like this last stylist! The lack of consistency drives my crazy-- maybe it's time to shave my head bald & get a wig??!! Any helpful feedback would be appreciated.
Why don't you visit naturallycurly.com? I have curly hair, which I used to think was wavy. I had all the problems you listed - when I stopped using a brush and only used a wide-toothed comb on it in the shower, I discovered it was actually curly. There are many good suggestions for taking care of curly/wavy hair on this site - I highly recommend it.
Awe newbie, I FEEL your pain. My stylist did a great job the first 6months and then it seemed like I was going back for more fixing every couple of weeks.
Since moving to Atlanta in 2007 I have gone through about 12 hairstylists. I have shown them all a pix of my hair exactly how I want it to be...why can't they get it??? UGH.
I have weird curly/straight patterns myself and my hormones are out of wack, so I am assuming it is taking its toll on my hair as well.
I discovered Neutragena light body sesame oil works well on my hair. Apply it while your hair is wet. Do it on a day you don't have to leave the house. Play around with it. Don't worry if you use too much, most of it will be absorbed the next day. The only way I can comb my hair when it's dry is if I have the oil in my hair, other wise it turns frizzy. Let me know if it works for you.
...Tends to look "bumpy" & puffy. Also, lots of grey hair which I color myself but when the grey hair starts to grow in at the roots, it adds more coarseness & unnecessary volume.
Quote:
Originally Posted by newbie09
Best ways to thin out the hair, decrease the heaviness of it-- razor cutting? or other methods?
don't want to fuss with their hair, just want to shampoo, deep condition & air dry? I hate blow-drying my hair & usually avoid using hair products-- gels, etc-- don't like how they make my hair feel! Want my hair to feel as soft as possible, not stiff! And if my hair is cut right, that should be enough!
The rare times I've gotten a good haircut, my hair works great without any fussing-- have lots of "body" to my hair, want it to just "fall into place."
So should I just keep quiet about my desire to avoid these things? Do any hairstlists respect their customers' wishes?
Hi newbie; I bolded your comments above that I can relate or respond to...my hair sounds very similar to yours, although mine is about shoulder length. I am a few yrs. older than you w/ color-treated hair. First thing I will say (besides I am not a stylist! ), is that at our age - mid 40's - the moisture content in our entire body is changing. A color or cut, or especially a product that worked before may do nothing for us now...and vise-versa.
JUST SAY NO TO RAZOR CUTTING! Please believe me, or even read some comments on various internet sites about this practice. So NOT good for thick, coarse, wavy hair. All it does is emphasize the frizz (and the bump & the puff!) Insist on & search for a stylist who is willing to give you a cut in "piecey layers" instead; the ends tend to group together more, enhancing the layered effect & decreasing the puff look.
In my experience (& ongoing frustration/learning process! ), I have found that our hair type is not capable of looking good without some sort of product. I don't use them every day, but I do use them when I know I have to look polished. There is a lot of new stuff worth trying and I'm finding success with a light amount of leave-in conditioning product. If it's light and distributed well, you won't hate the way it feels. Takes less than a minute to comb thru & you can let it air dry. Periodically through the day, you can gently run your fingers through to assist the drying without becoming a shaggy mess.
Sadly, a really good cut isn't always "enough" for our hair type - sometimes we have to relent.
My stylist didn't give up on me & I didn't give up on her! I kept trying to explain myself without knowing the technical stuff & she kept trying to get what I was saying. Not using a razor takes her longer & I know she doesn't like that; but I'm willing to pay more ~~~ she DOES like that!
Quote:
Originally Posted by CindySDA
Why don't you visit naturallycurly.com? I have curly hair, which I used to think was wavy. I had all the problems you listed - when I stopped using a brush and only used a wide-toothed comb on it in the shower, I discovered it was actually curly. There are many good suggestions for taking care of curly/wavy hair on this site - I highly recommend it.
A wide tooth comb in the shower has made all the difference! Great tip & I'm going to visit that site you recommend. My hair was pin straight until I hit my 40's, had it cut in layers, and used the wide-tooth!
Quote:
Originally Posted by zonababe
I discovered Neutragena light body sesame oil works well on my hair. Apply it while your hair is wet. Do it on a day you don't have to leave the house. Play around with it. Don't worry if you use too much, most of it will be absorbed the next day. The only way I can comb my hair when it's dry is if I have the oil in my hair, other wise it turns frizzy. Let me know if it works for you.
Thx for the tip zonababe! I can't wait to try that! Hope OP will try as well!
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So different from the last few times when my hair looked great for weeks after she did it! After months of trying to letg my hair grow longer, when I finally got it cut, what I wound up with was a horrible "bowl" cut that stuck out on the top & sides, making my face look even wider, which I don't need at all! (I have a small, roundish face & now had BIG HAIR!!
) Was so depressed at how bad I looked that for 2 or 3 nights afterward, I stood at the bathroom mirror trying to trim it myself-- I know, not the best thing to do, but not sure I made it that much worse, although no big improvements either! (I was afraid to go back to this stylist to ask her to "correct" the haircut, worried she'd butcher my hair even worse, definitely will never use her or that salon again!) 
Any helpful feedback would be appreciated.
), is that at our age - mid 40's - the moisture content in our entire body is changing. A color or cut, or especially a product that worked before may do nothing for us now...and vise-versa.
), I have found that our hair type is not capable of looking good without some sort of product. I don't use them every day, but I do use them when I know I have to look polished. There is a lot of new stuff worth trying and I'm finding success with a light amount of leave-in conditioning product. If it's light and distributed well, you won't hate the way it feels. Takes less than a minute to comb thru & you can let it air dry. Periodically through the day, you can gently run your fingers through to assist the drying without becoming a shaggy mess. 
