African American Women & The Natural Hair Movement (blonde, guys, mens)

[anadyr21]

Originally Posted by Ron.

You mean white will folks feel more threatened. That's what you wanted to say. I always felt the more ethnic blacks look, SOME whites become uncomfortable. But who cares, I am not here to make them feel warm and fuzzy.

There is not one black person in this country that will feel threatened by another black persaon wearing a natural hairstyle.


For the record, this is not a slap in the face to whites. I don't care about race I just call it like I see it.

My 35 years on earth has taught me that racial issues are psychological issues. I have not yet seen a difference between whites and blacks, in a general sense.

Yes Ron, that's exactly what I meant by others. That's why I put it in quotations. However, it's not just them anymore. Where I am, there's a significant Asian and Indian population, and they'll look at you funny too. It's not all of the others. The 25 and under crowd doesn't seem to care. It's their parents. I live in the burbs. Neatly kept locs or twists seem "acceptable". Cornbraids, mini-fros, long unkempt dreds, not so much. Sadly, there is a difference between how some blacks are treated based on either their clothing, dialect, or yes, even hair (at least in my particular suburban hell).

I would also like to point out natural doesn't necessarily mean getting your hair locked. I alternate between keeping my hair in twists, the curly out the shower look, or yes, sometimes I feel like using the hotcomb. I had no idea I had naturally curly hair until I stopped perming and coloring. I would wear it curly way more often if I knew how to maintain it for more than 5 days at a time. I find it much easier to wash my hair and braid it, than to maintain the curly look. I also benefit from working in a field where your hair doesn't matter, as long as it's neatly kept. Most of the black women I work with are locked or twisted, and there are a few mini-fros too. I'm the one in the braids.

[NewYorkBorn]

You are a trailblazer hautemomma and should be admired for having the strength and courage to be who God created you to be. Like you I have also heard many of the things you mention above when talking with other black women about why they are holding on to the relaxers when it is clear that many would like to for once in their lives just let their shield down and be comfortable and accepting of who they are. It is like I said to someone else we were freed from physical slavery......but we are still trapped in a mental slavery. We are like the slave who talks about running away from the plantation........but we are afraid to do it for fear that the master will beat us if we are caught!

To make matters worse we are still in this house negro vs. field negro mentality. I guess in all my life I have never stopped to think about just how deep these psychological issues run in the black community. I have heard many people mention that black people are still suffering the effects of slavery........that is so true.

[ChangedEssence]

Originally Posted by NewYorkBorn

I guess you have not checked out the small beautiful locks that many of the AA women are wearing? They are small dreadlocks (Sisterlocks) and because they are small they are easily styled to any look that a woman wants to wear. Also black women can achieve long beautiful hair.........the reason so many black women have short hair is because of the chemicals. It is the "roller coaster" effect.........the hair grows well for a while, becomes long then all of a sudden for no reason the hair breaks (hair loss). This happens to black women more then we want to admit.......as you mentioned some of us are so good at covering our hair with weaves that no one not even our family members know what our real hair looks like...........sometimes the weaving is not done by us just to change our hairstyle........very often we wear weaves because our hair has broken off from the chemicals and we want to cover it up!! There are a whole lot of black women who are a hot mess up under those weaves!! I was sitting in a hair salon in Brooklyn, NY where I used to go and get my hair done.......one day these two women sat down in the chair..........everything was normal at first, then the stylist began taking the weaving track out of their heads (by the way the tracks were sewn onto a net because they did not have enough hair to sew the tracks on to)...........they both were almost completely bald underneath those weaves, perms had caused their hair to fall out.........I am sorry but they looked like 2 kew balls on a pool table!! Well needless to say after seeing what the perms did to these two ladies I was SCARED STRAIGHT!! No more perms for me.

Seen time and time again.I have gotten away from the chemicals because my hair just wouldn't grow being relaxed. I have more hair than ever now. But, I wear wigs over my natural. Too costly and time consuming for sista locks and my natural is all the way Kunte Kente. Extremly course and I have used every natural treatment out. I have two boys (toddlers) full time job and school. Never liked the salon anyway and downright can afford the start up, up keep, and babysitter to get the job done. Currently every other night after the boys are sleep I spend an addtional 2 hours washing/ combing/ treating my hair so that It lays so not to push up my wig the next day ...Why don't I wear my own hair after all that work...The smallest sweat, the slightest humidity and Naps the tinest ones that hurt to comb pop back on my head from the scalp to the ends. I have visited some professionals and they have stated what it would take and even commented that I have some of the most course ever. (Make me fill like a million bucks, right.) Right before that mention the hundreds of dollars I would need to tame it naturally. Tempted often to get a perm and make my life easy. But the fact remains....After the washing/ combing and even if only over night I have natural long flowing soft hair. Trouble is it staying throughout one day. So until I make more money to provide a comfortable household and every other need that my boys have and maintain my other responsibilities. and have a few hundred dollars left over. Until all that I'm gonna wig it with out a doubt.

[NewYorkBorn]

Originally Posted by ChangedEssence

Seen time and time again.I have gotten away from the chemicals because my hair just wouldn't grow being relaxed. I have more hair than ever now. But, I wear wigs over my natural. Too costly and time consuming for sista locks and my natural is all the way Kunte Kente. Extremly course and I have used every natural treatment out. I have two boys (toddlers) full time job and school. Never liked the salon anyway and downright can afford the start up, up keep, and babysitter to get the job done. Currently every other night after the boys are sleep I spend an addtional 2 hours washing/ combing/ treating my hair so that It lays so not to push up my wig the next day ...Why don't I wear my own hair after all that work...The smallest sweat, the slightest humidity and Naps the tinest ones that hurt to comb pop back on my head from the scalp to the ends. I have visited some professionals and they have stated what it would take and even commented that I have some of the most course ever. (Make me fill like a million bucks, right.) Right before that mention the hundreds of dollars I would need to tame it naturally. Tempted often to get a perm and make my life easy. But the fact remains....After the washing/ combing and even if only over night I have natural long flowing soft hair. Trouble is it staying throughout one day. So until I make more money to provide a comfortable household and every other need that my boys have and maintain my other responsibilities. and have a few hundred dollars left over. Until all that I'm gonna wig it with out a doubt.

I feel your pain, I don't have course hair but have seen others that have this texture of hair. Because black people have such a wide range of hair textures....hair products that work for one person may not work for the other person. Not sure what kind of conditioner you use. But a good restructuring conditioner may help you....those types of conditioners tend to be good for making natural hair more manageable. In my opinion you would definitely benefit from locks when you are able to get the money to have a loctician do them for you. This way you will no longer have to worry about trying to comb through your hair. All you will have to do is wash the locks, condition them and let air dry. Yes the first time when you have the locks installed it is definitely time consuming. My install took 17 1/2 hours (one time thing) and my loctician broke that time up into 2 days. After the install all you have to do is retighten whenever your hair grows out if you don't feel like having someone else do it.

In my opinion the locks are definitely the way to go especially for someone with very course hair. I say that because options like braids and twists only last a few weeks. I am playing with my own natural recipes for a hair moisturizer. I create the moisturizer by using natural oils like jojoba, African shea butter and other natural oils. It is fun experimenting with different ingredients and tailoring a recipe that will work for my hair. Rather then buying a cookie cutter product that is supposed to work on everyones hair.

In the meantime if the wigs make life easier for you there is nothing wrong with that. Natural hair is still natural hair even if it is covered with a wig. What counts is that you are comitted to keeping the relaxers out of your hair.

[mimimomx3]

If I were black, I would wear it natural, probably a short 'fro', I think those are fantastic. I also like braids.

[Glitterific]

Some people may look at it as an excuse, but some people just won't look as good with an afro or a short natural style. All facial features are not created equal.

When I was a teen I had the short cropped look before it came more acceptable (I wasn't a trailblazer, obviously many women wore short cuts but it is more prevalent today than in 1993/94). I remember going into the barber shop and having the guy tell me he wouldn't cut my hair because I was a woman- this was in NYC of all places.

I remember seeing Keisha from Total in the "Can't You See" video and deciding then and there that is what I wanted. Prior to that I wore braids and my hair was past my shoulders. I wore the short cut for years, my family was so relieved when I told them I would finally grow it out. LOL

I'm back to my micros now, they don't make my hair fall out or damage my edges. I did want to go the dreadlocks route but my husband at the time refused. I'll look into it again later on down the road but my braids work well for me.

I can't join the natural woman club, but that is fine. It is great to see more choices available for everyone. Who cares if some people will die clutching a pack of Indian Remy? Do you want everyone using the same style? How boring!

[NewYorkBorn]

Hairstyles are just like clothing.......not everyone looks good in everything. This is the reason that it is good that short afros are not the only way for a black woman to wear her hair natural. In fact for most the whole point of putting an end to the relaxer use is so that they can start over and grow long healthy hair.........unless a woman just happens to like wearing her hair in the short afro style then most will want to grow their hair long.

In the end everyone has to decide which style looks best on them.......short fro, braids, locks, twists etc.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRSgUTWffMQ

[gaelgirl]

Originally Posted by NewYorkBorn

No other women in this society are told that they must change their hair in order to fit in......why should black women be made to change the nature of our hair to fit in

THIS was the sole reason I went natural initially. I was with some of friends (not-black) and I couldn't take my eyes off their hair. I thought to myself, why do I have to change the way my hair naturally grows out of my head in order to be considered attractive, professional, "normal?" Their hair was natural.

This isn't really about slavery per se, but it's the same idea as botox for aging (as if the natural process of getting older were something shameful). It's this idea the our natural selves are less than. When in fact we aren't.

That's what going natural meant for me. But, I also know that "I am not my hair" as India says.

[NewYorkBorn]

Originally Posted by gaelgirl

THIS was the sole reason I went natural initially. I was with some of friends (not-black) and I couldn't take my eyes off their hair. I thought to myself, why do I have to change the way my hair naturally grows out of my head in order to be considered attractive, professional, "normal?" Their hair was natural.

This isn't really about slavery per se, but it's the same idea as botox for aging (as if the natural process of getting older were something shameful). It's this idea the our natural selves are less than. When in fact we aren't.

That's what going natural meant for me. But, I also know that "I am not my hair" as India says.

Let's put it this way. We did not think anything was wrong with our hair (fact, not just my opinion) when we were living in Africa.......this idea about straightening our hair did not happen until we stepped off the slave ship. It was the white man/woman who brainwashed us into believing that something is wrong with our hair. The message (brainwashing) given to us during slavery has stayed with us.......now we no longer need the white man/woman to continue brainwashing us.......we do it on our own!! They could not destroy us with the bondages of slavery because we are too strong as a people......so they decided to use a much more evil approach and break our spirit. This is the reason they did not allow our ancestors to practice any of the African culture or teach any of the children the African language. The most effective way to destroy a group of people is to strip them of their identity and our hair is a part of our ethnic identity!!
Let's keep it real......people do not change something on their body unless they think something is wrong with it......if we did not believe something was wrong (because the white man/woman taught us that) with our hair we would not use relaxers to straighten it out. This is called the "SLAVE MIND"!!
As you said this was one of the reasons I woke up and stopped doing the un-natural process of relaxing my hair......I refuse to live the rest of my life in the "SLAVE MIND"!!

[gaelgirl]

Originally Posted by NewYorkBorn

was one of the reasons I woke up and stopped doing the un-natural process of relaxing my hair......I refuse to live the rest of my life in the "SLAVE MIND"!!

I hear what you are saying, but no one is consciously thinking when they put a relaxer in their hair, "YES! I wanna be like the slave master's wife..." or something like that. I know that though never crossed my mind when I had relaxers for about 10 years.

An excellent, must read book about this subject is called Hair Story by Ayana Byrd and Lori Tharps. The book traces Black American history through the perpective of black hair and what it's meant for our culture and our identity.

I will agree that the western standard of beauty is based upon the european aesthetic and is deeply imbedded in American culture and is an idea so much older than anybody on this forum. Madam CJ Walker and her mass production of hair relaxers changed a lot for black women and their relationship to their hair. It's been a while since I have read Hair Story, but the include some of Walker's advertisements...and one of them says (I am paraphrasing but not by much) you can go from ugly to beautiful with her product.