Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
getting away from the multi quote to tell my story of why I went natural. I've been getting relaxers (or rather, I've been receiving relaxers. it wasn't as if I had a choice in the matter back then) since I was a little kid, around 6 or 7. I remember one year, I believe it was when I was in third grade, the day before school started, my mom put in a relaxer but forgot to grease my scalp and ears. I got some pretty bad, nearly 2nd degree chemical burns all along my scalp and the back of my ears. I spent that first day of school picking off large, gooey scabs! it was bad enough that a teacher commented on my burns.
since then, I was always a bit nervous about leaving a relaxer in too long. I would lie and said my head was beginning to itch/burn long before it actually did. it's amazing that w/ most of the women I knew, itching/burning=leave the relaxer in for a few more minutes . so my hair never came out looking "good" at the roots. oh, and every single person who ever put relaxer in my head always did my whole head, never just the new growth, so that my tips are wicked over processed. over time, I noticed the hair at the crown of my head was very short and never really grew. it soon became a quarter sized bald spot where the hair never grew beyond a half inch. for a long while, it was even to short to put extensions on or to put into a twist or even a comb coil
i went natural about 4 years ago. my hair was very damaged and parts of my head had hair that just would grow past an inch before breaking off. I wore braids for a year which caused some damage so I stopped, cut off the relaxed ends, and just wore afros and twists. it took a while for me to learn how to play w/ my natural hair and to find stuff that agree w/ it. I learned that my hair prefers natural products w/o petroleum and other junk. funny thing now is that my locs (at the roots esp) are actually "softer" than my afro was b/c I finally found a regime that works and keeps my hair moisturized.
I'm about a year and a few months into my locs. I really prefer them over the afros and twists due to how easy they are for me to maintain (no more late night, hour long detangling sessions!). I'm pretty relaxed in terms of maintaining my locks and rarely twist them (I prefer the fuzzy look over the scalpy look). however, I debating taking them down and getting Sisterlocks. I'm still not sure. the loctician that started my current locs had nothing but critical things to say about Sisterlocks, about how they're not "real locs" and disliked the fact that they were copyrighted and could be started on relaxed hair. she struck me as one of those militant nappy heads. I don't hold that view at all. w/ me, my hesitation lies w/ the idea of relying so much on a Sisterlocks loctician to maintain the locks w/o messing up the pattern. plus, they are VERY expensive and the course to learn how to touch them up yourself isn't cheap. I may need to do more research to find a less expensive loctician to do them for me if I decide to take down my current locs (which I love, but I'm worried some of them are too large for the thinner roots to hold onto). I'm not thrilled about some of the super tiny SL I've seen (I've read blogs where some w/ SL have over 500 locs on their head!), but I've seem many pics of those w/ medium sized (pencil width) SL that look cool
okay, enough of my rambling now. no offense at all to those who relax, to each their own, I just don't see myself going back to the "creamy crack" anytime soon. and I sure as heck won't be be relaxing my child's head if I ever have a girl. it makes me so sad to see a young girl (under 10. I've seen them as young as 4!) w/ obviously relaxed hair. it's just so much chemical junk to be putting on a child's head, esp. if there's a risk of chemical burns. I wish my mother hadn't done all that junk to my hair when I was younger
I probably should stay out of this since I'm a guy but I'll say my peace any way. Black woman using relaxers sadden me. More precisely, the trend of Black women constantly relaxing their hair - for decades. It's one thing to say "Girl, I'm going to wedding and I might get a blow-out or pressed for the day." But to permanently change your hair for decades and then convince yourself "It's just hair." I don't buy it. It's some deep stuff wrapped up in there for a whole culture (is it 8/10?) of women to knowingly use Drano on their heads. Which they know damages their their hair to the point that it won't (do to the relaxer) grow past their ear, and then compensate by wearing wigs and weaves which in turn further damages their hair. Something's wrong with that and there are no arguments that I've ever heard convince me otherwise.
PS - And maybe it's pride, but if I were a girl, I would be damned if I would sit on a train with a weave or wig on my head knowing that many White, Asian, and Latina women are secretly laughing at me or worse pitying me. No ma'am. I'd happy and nappy any day. Just my opinion...
Well said from the perspective of a man.....rep points coming your way! You are absolutely right. Weaving and perming trying to be something that God did not mean for us to be. Meanwhile we are not fooling anybody.......people know permed and weaved hair when they see it! As you said we are laughed at and looked at like clowns walking down the street in a clown suit. Like you said temporarily straigtening with a flat iron to wear a different style for a special occasion like a wedding is one thing......permanently altering the nature of the hair and then making excuses for the behavior is another thing.
getting away from the multi quote to tell my story of why I went natural. I've been getting relaxers (or rather, I've been receiving relaxers. it wasn't as if I had a choice in the matter back then) since I was a little kid, around 6 or 7. I remember one year, I believe it was when I was in third grade, the day before school started, my mom put in a relaxer but forgot to grease my scalp and ears. I got some pretty bad, nearly 2nd degree chemical burns all along my scalp and the back of my ears. I spent that first day of school picking off large, gooey scabs! it was bad enough that a teacher commented on my burns.
since then, I was always a bit nervous about leaving a relaxer in too long. I would lie and said my head was beginning to itch/burn long before it actually did. it's amazing that w/ most of the women I knew, itching/burning=leave the relaxer in for a few more minutes . so my hair never came out looking "good" at the roots. oh, and every single person who ever put relaxer in my head always did my whole head, never just the new growth, so that my tips are wicked over processed. over time, I noticed the hair at the crown of my head was very short and never really grew. it soon became a quarter sized bald spot where the hair never grew beyond a half inch. for a long while, it was even to short to put extensions on or to put into a twist or even a comb coil
i went natural about 4 years ago. my hair was very damaged and parts of my head had hair that just would grow past an inch before breaking off. I wore braids for a year which caused some damage so I stopped, cut off the relaxed ends, and just wore afros and twists. it took a while for me to learn how to play w/ my natural hair and to find stuff that agree w/ it. I learned that my hair prefers natural products w/o petroleum and other junk. funny thing now is that my locs (at the roots esp) are actually "softer" than my afro was b/c I finally found a regime that works and keeps my hair moisturized.
I'm about a year and a few months into my locs. I really prefer them over the afros and twists due to how easy they are for me to maintain (no more late night, hour long detangling sessions!). I'm pretty relaxed in terms of maintaining my locks and rarely twist them (I prefer the fuzzy look over the scalpy look). however, I debating taking them down and getting Sisterlocks. I'm still not sure. the loctician that started my current locs had nothing but critical things to say about Sisterlocks, about how they're not "real locs" and disliked the fact that they were copyrighted and could be started on relaxed hair. she struck me as one of those militant nappy heads. I don't hold that view at all. w/ me, my hesitation lies w/ the idea of relying so much on a Sisterlocks loctician to maintain the locks w/o messing up the pattern. plus, they are VERY expensive and the course to learn how to touch them up yourself isn't cheap. I may need to do more research to find a less expensive loctician to do them for me if I decide to take down my current locs (which I love, but I'm worried some of them are too large for the thinner roots to hold onto). I'm not thrilled about some of the super tiny SL I've seen (I've read blogs where some w/ SL have over 500 locs on their head!), but I've seem many pics of those w/ medium sized (pencil width) SL that look cool
okay, enough of my rambling now. no offense at all to those who relax, to each their own, I just don't see myself going back to the "creamy crack" anytime soon. and I sure as heck won't be be relaxing my child's head if I ever have a girl. it makes me so sad to see a young girl (under 10. I've seen them as young as 4!) w/ obviously relaxed hair. it's just so much chemical junk to be putting on a child's head, esp. if there's a risk of chemical burns. I wish my mother hadn't done all that junk to my hair when I was younger
I have heard that argument about Sisterlocks not being real locks from traditional dreadlock wearers too. I presume because many of them are afraid that they will lose their customers to Sisterlocks if they don't bash this locking method. Sisterlocks are real dreadlocks just done smaller and done utilizing a (different locking method) locking tool. There are many ways to have locks.....1) palm rolling (which would not have worked for me because I don't have really nappy hair) 2) using a locking tool or 3) the old fashioned way of just not combing the hair.
I have pencil size Sisterlocks and love them because unlike thick traditional locks they offer styling versatility. Yes those of us with Sisterlocks definitely have a lot of locks on our heads.......I have over 400 locks (Sisterlocks) on my head. My loctician felt like that was a good number of locks for my size head. I would not do the 500 locks on my head.......for me that would have been just too small.
As long as the hair is not relaxed.......then natural is natural........everyone just has to figure out which natural style works best for them.
PS - And maybe it's pride, but if I were a girl, I would be damned if I would sit on a train with a weave or wig on my head knowing that many White, Asian, and Latina women are secretly laughing at me or worse pitying me. No ma'am. I'd happy and nappy any day. Just my opinion...
Who really cares what they think, though? You're sounding like a slave afraid to disappoint "MASSA" right now...
And, you DO realize, that many WHITE, ASIAN AND LATINA women are wearing weave and wigs as well, don't you?.....SHOOT, WHO do you think made the entire LACE FRONT wig phenomenon popular? It certainly wasn't black women. I observed a white girl, in an Asian beauty supply spot, in the middle of the HOOD, trying a lace front wig on the other day, and she didn't have cancer, either....head FULL of hair.
Nah, it's not about pleasing massa but about being true.
Also White, Asian, and Latina women who were weaves mostly where weaves that look like there natural hair and as an accent - not cover up.
And so do a lot of black women. Not all of us are BALD HEADED, and like to wear 22 inch YACK down to our ass, with nappy hairlines, ya know. You're stereotyping like crazy right now, dude...
Who really cares what they think, though? You're sounding like a slave afraid to disappoint "MASSA" right now...
And, you DO realize, that many WHITE, ASIAN AND LATINA women are wearing weave and wigs as well, don't you?.....SHOOT, WHO do you think made the entire LACE FRONT wig phenomenon popular? It certainly wasn't black women. I observed a white girl, in an Asian beauty supply spot, in the middle of the HOOD, trying a lace front wig on the other day, and she didn't have cancer, either....head FULL of hair.
Nah, it's not about pleasing anyone. It's just about not fooling yourself thinking your fooling other people. It's about being true.
Also White, Asian, and Latina women who were weaves mostly where weaves that look like there natural hair and as an accent - not cover up. But even further it's about the proportion of Afro descent women how do the relaxer and weaves. It's upside down as far as I'm concerned.
Nobody said everybody. But I know what I've seen all my life and I won't lie by pretending that the minority is the majority. Don't misunderstand me. I know Black women can grow hair down their backs like everyone else. However, due to the damage that many self inflict on their hair to get rid of the kink, it makes it rare.
Nah, it's not about pleasing massa but about being true.
Also White, Asian, and Latina women who were weaves mostly where weaves that look like there natural hair and as an accent - not cover up.
I have more then one reason why I decided to stop relaxing and go natural and one of the reasons was as you mentioned. I decided that I want to BE MYSELF and be the person that God created me to be. How can I call myself being real as a woman.........when everything on my body is fake??
I mean it is to the point where many of us may as well say our entire body is fake. Fake straight hair, fake nails, fake hair weaved on our heads! All an illusion and nothing is real anymore........I know many black men who have told me stories about how they fell in love with what they thought was a real woman and it all turned out to be an illusion...........then the first time they went to run their hands through their girlfriends hair their hand got stuck in weave tracks!!
The other big problem that we have as black women is..........whenever we get on the topic about hair............someone always mentions what white and asian women do to their hair in an attempt to take the focus off of what we are doing to our own hair..........we need to stop the COVER UP! This thread is not about discussing what women of other races do to their hair.......this topic is about black women. If white and asian women jump off of a bridge are black women going to follow them and do that too?
I mean it is to the point where many of us may as well say our entire body is fake. Fake straight hair, fake nails, fake hair weaved on our heads! All an illusion and nothing is real anymore........I know many black men who have told me stories about how they fell in love with what they thought was a real woman and it all turned out to be an illusion...........then the first time they went to run their hands through their girlfriends hair their hand got stuck in weave tracks!!
LOL, it reminds me of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode where Will and his girl gets stuck in the basement and she ends up taking off her fake nails, lashes, and wig to the point where she doesn't even look like the same person! he gets asked where's his girlfriend and he says "most of her is over there in that pile!"
sorry, random TV reference . but hey, if you feel happy w/ that stuff good for you. some of those fake nails scare me to death and make me wonder how some of these women perform basic hygiene stuff
I suppose in the beginning, I didn't have any deep, thoughtful reason for going natural. nothing political or about getting back to my roots. I was just sick of the dang perms making my break off, burning me and making me go bald! and I was sick of spending hours in a salon under a hood listening to some catty women gossip about so-and-so! of course plenty of women get relaxers and never have these issues. but over time, as cheesy as it sounds, I do feel more connected w/ my hair. playing around w/ it and trying to find the right products for it, I've figured out some stuff it likes and dislikes (for example, my hair isn't a fan off products w/ a lot of shea butter. makes it "crunchy", and my locs stay pretty moisturized w/ light oils like coconut and jojoba). it was so hard for me to maintain my relaxed hair and I was very bad at keeping it healthy. I suppose now I could maintain a healthier head of relaxed hair given all the stuff I've learned through various forums (I've seen some nice relaxed heads on forums like LHCF), but I don't see myself getting relaxed again anytime soon. I think there would be far fewer jacked up heads, relaxed and natural, if people just learned how to take better care of it and maybe laid off that greasy Pink oil and black gel junk, among other nasty beauty supplies!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
it was bad enough that a teacher commented on my burns.
. so my hair never came out looking "good" at the roots. oh, and every single person who ever put relaxer in my head always did my whole head, never just the new growth, so that my tips are wicked over processed. over time, I noticed the hair at the crown of my head was very short and never really grew. it soon became a quarter sized bald spot where the hair never grew beyond a half inch. for a long while, it was even to short to put extensions on or to put into a twist or even a comb coil
You are absolutely right. Weaving and perming trying to be something that God did not mean for us to be. Meanwhile we are not fooling anybody.......people know permed and weaved hair when they see it! As you said we are laughed at and looked at like clowns walking down the street in a clown suit. Like you said temporarily straigtening with a flat iron to wear a different style for a special occasion like a wedding is one thing......permanently altering the nature of the hair and then making excuses for the behavior is another thing. 
You're sounding like a slave afraid to disappoint "MASSA" right now...
. but hey, if you feel happy w/ that stuff good for you. some of those fake nails scare me to death and make me wonder how some of these women perform basic hygiene stuff 
