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Old 08-21-2009, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,256 posts, read 16,169,431 times
Reputation: 6608

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NC_MVP View Post
PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @

I don't have a problem with people who choose to go natural. What I have a problem with are the people who USED to get relaxers who suddenly become self-righteous when they decide to go natural. If YOU decide to go natural, well, then good for you, but don't choose to look down upon other people who still choose to relax.
You know I think another reason that so many black women have negative connections with natural hair is because some black women with natural hair are so damn rude.

I was in the hair store with my cousin this weekend and we were looking for a good conditioner for her. Now she's mixed and genetics decided it would be funny to give a dark skinned woman long thick wavy red hair. Anyway, there were two black ladies in the line ahead of us (probably in their late 20's early 30's) and one turned around and asked my cousin why she was putting chemicals in her hair and went into this long speech about how she's trying to fit into the white man's perception of beauty and self-hatred and blah blah blah blah.

Now like I said my cousin is mixed so her hair is natural but these women assumed because of the color and texture that it was processed and then they basically called her ignorant, insecure and color struck.

My cousin is quieter than me so she just smiled and paid for her things but I was pissed.

That's not the first time I’ve run across a woman who has made the choice to wear her natural hair treat me like I’m inferior or implied that I’m ashamed to be black because I made the choice to relax my hair.

I saw a lot of this when I was at Bethune Cookman; it was almost like Spike Lee's School Daze except the Jiggaboos (I'm not being offensive that's actually what they were called in the movie) thought they were better than the Wanna-Be's because they were blacker, more connected to their African heritage, etc.

I don't know why women who choose to wear their hair natural feel like it's their duty to educate those who don't. I love my hair and if you love yours natural, relaxed, shaved, kinky, twisted, whatever than I'm happy for you.
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Old 08-21-2009, 07:48 PM
 
Location: La lune et les ťtoiles
17,611 posts, read 18,978,481 times
Reputation: 18918
Quote:
Originally Posted by natalayjones View Post
You know I think another reason that so many black women have negative connections with natural hair is because some black women with natural hair are so damn rude.
I'm sorry that this happened to you and your cousin. Ignorance comes in all forms sometimes.

I don't judge other Black women for their own personal hair choices and I think that it is sad when others do. We should respect each others decisions on what we chose to do with our own hair.

My choice to go back to natural hair was a very personal one. I wanted to stop being a slave to the stylists, a slave to the relaxer and a hostage of the growth and breakage cycle.

I had several friends and relatives ask more"whys" and "how ya gonnas" than I think anyone should have to answer about their hair. But now that my natural hair is growing thicker and longer they want to know "how" and "what" I'm doing.

Personally, I have never felt the need to "preach" to any Black women who decide to wear their hair relaxed or to color. Its none of my business. I have, however, helped a friend who was constantly dealing with a chemically burnt scalp and chronically dry, brittle hair - but only because she asked for my advice.

When I made the decision to go natural, I did tons of research. My goal was to have long, afro-texured, natural hair - I am happy with where I am on my journey. It is such a misconception that Black women can not grow their hair long unless it is chemically processed (or "that" type of hair)

I think that this subject is such a touchy one with Black women because we are (or are not) considered beautiful because of the characteristics of our hair. We have been brainwashed with so much negativity (from within our own community and outside of it) about our hair, that many of us don't want to take the time to educate ourselves on what is best for the health of our hair.
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Old 08-21-2009, 10:18 PM
 
Location: Houston
49 posts, read 119,361 times
Reputation: 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorkBorn View Post
It sure does take time to unlearn negative things, especially when children have those responsible for teaching them actually re-enforcing a negative stereotype! Yesterday had a business occasion and was really comfortable with my natural hair........no one even raised an eyebrow in shock at the fact that I have locs and that is a good thing! Who knows maybe that is a sign that the world is beginning to make a positive change!
Cool. I think time makes people accept things better and lose whatever prejudices and apprehensions that they may have about something or someone who is different from them.
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Old 08-22-2009, 03:19 AM
 
Location: New York City
1,556 posts, read 3,155,847 times
Reputation: 943
Quote:
Originally Posted by natalayjones View Post
You know I think another reason that so many black women have negative connections with natural hair is because some black women with natural hair are so damn rude.

I was in the hair store with my cousin this weekend and we were looking for a good conditioner for her. Now she's mixed and genetics decided it would be funny to give a dark skinned woman long thick wavy red hair. Anyway, there were two black ladies in the line ahead of us (probably in their late 20's early 30's) and one turned around and asked my cousin why she was putting chemicals in her hair and went into this long speech about how she's trying to fit into the white man's perception of beauty and self-hatred and blah blah blah blah.

Now like I said my cousin is mixed so her hair is natural but these women assumed because of the color and texture that it was processed and then they basically called her ignorant, insecure and color struck.

My cousin is quieter than me so she just smiled and paid for her things but I was pissed.

That's not the first time Iíve run across a woman who has made the choice to wear her natural hair treat me like Iím inferior or implied that Iím ashamed to be black because I made the choice to relax my hair.

I saw a lot of this when I was at Bethune Cookman; it was almost like Spike Lee's School Daze except the Jiggaboos (I'm not being offensive that's actually what they were called in the movie) thought they were better than the Wanna-Be's because they were blacker, more connected to their African heritage, etc.

I don't know why women who choose to wear their hair natural feel like it's their duty to educate those who don't. I love my hair and if you love yours natural, relaxed, shaved, kinky, twisted, whatever than I'm happy for you.
There are rude women on both the relaxed side and the natural side. I have encountered quite a few relaxed rude women on this forum!

The thing that I do not understand is if a woman is relaxing her hair, happy with it and feel that natural women are preaching then why keep coming back to read a thread that is for natural women to discuss their hair

I come across a lot of threads on this forum discussing topics that I do not like.........so I stop reading them and do not visit that thread anymore!

Maybe I am wrong but the only conclusion that I can come to for what you experienced in the beauty supply store from the natural woman and the behavior that I see on this forum from relaxed women is that some people just like to create controversy.
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Old 08-23-2009, 11:20 AM
 
Location: La lune et les ťtoiles
17,611 posts, read 18,978,481 times
Reputation: 18918
On a different note.....

Let's share tips and products that have really helped us in our natural hair journey!!

I'll start by saying that I am in love with the benefits of using Extra Virgin Coconut Oil on my natural hair. It isn't greasy, it's light, has moisturizing qualities (even though it is an oil) and it penetrates the hair shaft quickly. I use it after I wash and deep condition and I also use it on pressed hair.
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Old 08-23-2009, 11:30 AM
 
3,751 posts, read 7,464,262 times
Reputation: 3711
Tyra had a great show on this topic recently. I dont like her show so I am not certain if it was a rerun. Really insightful as to how natural hair styles usually reflects your features so much more than some other choices.
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Old 08-23-2009, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
8,998 posts, read 13,070,781 times
Reputation: 3536
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorkBorn View Post
There are rude women on both the relaxed side and the natural side. I have encountered quite a few relaxed rude women on this forum!

The thing that I do not understand is if a woman is relaxing her hair, happy with it and feel that natural women are preaching then why keep coming back to read a thread that is for natural women to discuss their hair

I come across a lot of threads on this forum discussing topics that I do not like.........so I stop reading them and do not visit that thread anymore!

Maybe I am wrong but the only conclusion that I can come to for what you experienced in the beauty supply store from the natural woman and the behavior that I see on this forum from relaxed women is that some people just like to create controversy.
People in general are rude no matter what their hair looks like, if it's processed or natural.
Don't let a few rotten apples spoil the bunch.
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Old 08-24-2009, 09:01 AM
 
544 posts, read 937,774 times
Reputation: 241
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorkBorn View Post
There are rude women on both the relaxed side and the natural side. I have encountered quite a few relaxed rude women on this forum!

The thing that I do not understand is if a woman is relaxing her hair, happy with it and feel that natural women are preaching then why keep coming back to read a thread that is for natural women to discuss their hair

I come across a lot of threads on this forum discussing topics that I do not like.........so I stop reading them and do not visit that thread anymore!

Maybe I am wrong but the only conclusion that I can come to for what you experienced in the beauty supply store from the natural woman and the behavior that I see on this forum from relaxed women is that some people just like to create controversy.
i think it's funny that you said that because I remember on another thread you said that women who have relaxed hair suffer from a slave mind. I wear my hair natural because I used to live in a very dry climate and relaxed hair was hard to take care of there; my partner has relaxed hair though and I have encountered many black women who make that same comment about the slave mind. My partner has been to African numerous times and even to haiti once but we run int osome very judgmental women who think because that they're hairstyles make them more in touch with their blackness than others.
I think it's a horrible demeaning thing to tell a woman that because of her hair style she is of the slave mind and rejecting her black roots and if you were truly connected to your African roots you would not feel the need to put your sisters down in such a way, no matter how much you want to call it educating. I have always thought black women were the most judgemental people you will ever meet and I think one of the reasons that natural/relaxed hair is such a controversial issue is because black women use hair as some sort of measuring stick of how pretty they are

Then your comment here basically says "if you like yor relaxed hair then why do you keep coming here and talking to us" from reading through the thread I did not get the impression that this thread was only for women with natural hair. I actually thought this was just a thread for black women to discuss their hair and I thought that was great. My partner wears a relaxer but she still participates in a natural hair forum because she likes to hear there feedback on different products and styles. We go to a lot of natural hair shows as well.
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Old 08-24-2009, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,256 posts, read 16,169,431 times
Reputation: 6608
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
I'm sorry that this happened to you and your cousin. Ignorance comes in all forms sometimes.
It does - when I was wearing my hair in braids I had a black professor who told me how unprofessional my hair looked and how I would never find a real job looking that; meanwhile she had about 40 pounds worth of Yaki hair glued to her scalp

Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
I had several friends and relatives ask more"whys" and "how ya gonnas" than I think anyone should have to answer about their hair. But now that my natural hair is growing thicker and longer they want to know "how" and "what" I'm doing. When I made the decision to go natural, I did tons of research. My goal was to have long, afro-texured, natural hair - I am happy with where I am on my journey. It is such a misconception that Black women can not grow their hair long unless it is chemically processed (or "that" type of hair).
I had a lot of that growing up because I was the only black kid in my classes and back then my hair was natural so it was big and poofy. Yeah me and my mom were just talking about that when she was here last weekend; my hair grew a lot faster when it was natural. I still have my thickness but not my length. I think it probably still grows but it breaks so easily now. Whenever I take my braids out I lose a good chunk of my hair and that didn't happen before my relaxer. My mom keeps saying I need to just grow out the relaxer because I've been wearing my hair braided for about 10 months out of the year anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorkBorn View Post
The thing that I do not understand is if a woman is relaxing her hair, happy with it and feel that natural women are preaching then why keep coming back to read a thread that is for natural women to discuss their hair
.
So you're saying that because my hair is relaxed now I shouldn't be posting in your thread? My hair was natural for 19 years, I'm still black, I still have hair,I can still talk about various hair products, the cognitive meaning of the word nappy as it relates to our hair, etc – I don’t know why you have an issue with me posting here. It doesn't matter; you always find something negative to say so I'm just not going to read your comments anymore.

Quote:
Originally Posted by StilltheSame View Post
Tyra had a great show on this topic recently. I dont like her show so I am not certain if it was a rerun. Really insightful as to how natural hair styles usually reflects your features so much more than some other choices.
My friends and I were talking about that over the weekend because they said Tyra is going to debut her natural hair - I thought her hair was natural on Higher Learning. Maybe they meant natural without chemicals because I'm sure she had a relaxer. You know I've run across a lot of websites lately and they are calling relaxed hair natural because it doesn't have a weave in it. I think there is some confusion between the terms "real" hair and "natural" hair.
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Old 08-24-2009, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,053 posts, read 3,580,325 times
Reputation: 2475
I have thought about going natural from time to time, but at my current job and the jobs that I work, I think it would inhibit me getting a job.
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