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Old 01-08-2013, 06:49 PM
 
60 posts, read 66,116 times
Reputation: 32
Default single life for a black women who doesn't act stereotypical

okayy so I was looking into moving to NYC but the cost of living and having to live to work instead of work to live life was not appealing to me. I want beaches and nice people.

Okayy So I am african american and a woman. I have some meat on my bones but I am not coming until the summer so I have plenty of time to lose weight I don't think it's cute to be "thick" i just live in a cold place and its hard to excersize without having to be stuck in an expensive two year gym membership.

anyway I plan on attending the norfolk university so the clique thing i hear about doesnt bother me I will be able to meet a lot of people at school and I am far from shy. Plus I come from an area that is like that also and people that have moved where I live have done just fine....

but anywho I date white men and black men (I do not like trash or ghetto but preppy bothers me also), I will def. take on the roll as a beach bum and I come from Wisconsin so the fact that people drink a lot here warms my heart =)
how will my dating life be??

and I have heard of people mention a bad dating scene here and mention bigger cities have better ones but from what I hear bigger cities mean tons of boyfriends but they dont marry (if at all) until their mid 30's and my eggs are gonna be dry by then!!) so if something is more family orientated it could work out for a women looking to get married favor right??
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:30 PM
 
42 posts, read 45,114 times
Reputation: 39
I think you'll like the dating scene in Hampton Roads. It heavily favors women because of the large military population. That being said, I would avoid the transient Navy population. They're not all bad but they have a reputation(deservedly so) for having short flings. You probably won't have much of an issue with interracial dating. Hampton Roads is far from "young", so if you're in your early twenties it may be a bit difficult.

Hampton Roads is quite diverse, in both race and culture. There are quite a few people that are "stereotypical" but you'll find quite a few who are not. You will probably do MUCH better on the southside in the Norfolk area, specifically around Ghent. I always recommend this area to extroverts with a nice personality who value open ideas. You'll be in good company.

Virginia Beach is nice but it's far more conservative than Norfolk. You'd probably want to avoid the Peninsula(upper region of Hampton Roads) altogether. Both places are far more segregated and racially charged than Norfolk. The culture on the Peninsula would also probably not match the "nice" mid-western culture you're coming from. There isn't much culture and the one that is there can only be described as "angry" and maybe even a bit ghetto.

All this being said, you have to remember that Hampton Roads is much different than Wisconsin. It's considered the south but it's very much mid-atlantic/east coast culture. In much of the area, you'll probably find most people colder than what you're used to. Courtesy is NOT well practiced in the area(especially in groups of people, concerts, stores, fast food restaurants, driving, etc), so you'll need to grow a thicker skin and learn to be a little pushy/assertive unless you don't mind waiting or people cutting.
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:41 PM
 
60 posts, read 66,116 times
Reputation: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcor117 View Post
I think you'll like the dating scene in Hampton Roads. It heavily favors women because of the large military population. That being said, I would avoid the transient Navy population. They're not all bad but they have a reputation(deservedly so) for having short flings. You probably won't have much of an issue with interracial dating. Hampton Roads is far from "young", so if you're in your early twenties it may be a bit difficult.

Hampton Roads is quite diverse, in both race and culture. There are quite a few people that are "stereotypical" but you'll find quite a few who are not. You will probably do MUCH better on the southside in the Norfolk area, specifically around Ghent. I always recommend this area to extroverts with a nice personality who value open ideas. You'll be in good company.

Virginia Beach is nice but it's far more conservative than Norfolk. You'd probably want to avoid the Peninsula(upper region of Hampton Roads) altogether. Both places are far more segregated and racially charged than Norfolk. The culture on the Peninsula would also probably not match the "nice" mid-western culture you're coming from. There isn't much culture and the one that is there can only be described as "angry" and maybe even a bit ghetto.

All this being said, you have to remember that Hampton Roads is much different than Wisconsin. It's considered the south but it's very much mid-atlantic/east coast culture. In much of the area, you'll probably find most people colder than what you're used to. Courtesy is NOT well practiced in the area(especially in groups of people, concerts, stores, fast food restaurants, driving, etc), so you'll need to grow a thicker skin and learn to be a little pushy/assertive unless you don't mind waiting or people cutting.
thanks for the response!! yeah im going to live in norfolk! ill probably just go to VB for the veach only unless theres nice ones in norfolk....so ur saying as a young adult tge dating is bad all together or just in VB?? oh im running away from that I hate small talk unless i have to like im working. thats why i loce getting away to chicago that leave people alobe and worry aboit yourself mentality lol LOVE IT!
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Old 01-10-2013, 02:56 PM
 
42 posts, read 45,114 times
Reputation: 39
It's an easy place to date if you're looking for short term flings.

If finding "the one" is your intention, I'd look elsewhere. There just aren't that many young "catches" in the area. There are a few colleges in the area but most people leave after graduation. I think you'll find the 22-35 age demographic that are not in the military to be slim pickings. Talented people tend to leave here because there's not much industry outside of the government sector.

If you're not a "social" person, I'd avoid ghent. It's social.

Do you have a job lined up? Most of the jobs here are military/government related so unless you have some kind of hot-shot degree(computer science, health related, etc), you're going to have a hell of a time finding a decent job.
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Old 01-13-2013, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Norfolk, VA
2,123 posts, read 1,298,280 times
Reputation: 926
Quote:
Originally Posted by mscbrown View Post
okayy so I was looking into moving to NYC but the cost of living and having to live to work instead of work to live life was not appealing to me. I want beaches and nice people.

Okayy So I am african american and a woman. I have some meat on my bones but I am not coming until the summer so I have plenty of time to lose weight I don't think it's cute to be "thick" i just live in a cold place and its hard to excersize without having to be stuck in an expensive two year gym membership.

anyway I plan on attending the norfolk university so the clique thing i hear about doesnt bother me I will be able to meet a lot of people at school and I am far from shy. Plus I come from an area that is like that also and people that have moved where I live have done just fine....

but anywho I date white men and black men (I do not like trash or ghetto but preppy bothers me also), I will def. take on the roll as a beach bum and I come from Wisconsin so the fact that people drink a lot here warms my heart =)
how will my dating life be??

and I have heard of people mention a bad dating scene here and mention bigger cities have better ones but from what I hear bigger cities mean tons of boyfriends but they dont marry (if at all) until their mid 30's and my eggs are gonna be dry by then!!) so if something is more family orientated it could work out for a women looking to get married favor right??
Out of curiosity why don't you like preppy? I mean, I haven't seen preppy in like 15 years I don't even know what that means anymore. Or do you mean Polo Ralph Lauren/Brooks Brothers that type of pretentiousness? Preppy is just as much of a stereotype as ghetto.

Hampton Roads is NOT Wisconsin. I lived a summer in Madison and spent some time up in Milwaukee. It isn't a bad thing but this isn't Wisconsin, just what it is. You would probably be better off somewhere else in the Midwest if that's what you're looking for. Personally I find people a lot nicer here than the Midwest. At least Ohio anyway perhaps people are nicer in Wisconsin; I never had any problems when I was there.
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Old 01-15-2013, 07:58 AM
 
42 posts, read 45,114 times
Reputation: 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by goofy328 View Post
Personally I find people a lot nicer here than the Midwest. At least Ohio anyway perhaps people are nicer in Wisconsin; I never had any problems when I was there.
Ohio is an odd duck. I've remember spending some time in Ohio and the people just rubbing me the wrong way. Wouldn't associate it with the "midwestern" personality.

In the time I've spent in the midwest, the people there are MUCH nicer than the people in Hampton Roads. There's even something called "Minnesota Nice" that is something you have to experience to believe. There are nice people here, but on the whole, this isn't what I would consider a friendly area.
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:04 AM
 
Location: Norfolk, VA
2,123 posts, read 1,298,280 times
Reputation: 926
Quote:
Originally Posted by Falcor117 View Post
Ohio is an odd duck. I've remember spending some time in Ohio and the people just rubbing me the wrong way. Wouldn't associate it with the "midwestern" personality.

In the time I've spent in the midwest, the people there are MUCH nicer than the people in Hampton Roads. There's even something called "Minnesota Nice" that is something you have to experience to believe. There are nice people here, but on the whole, this isn't what I would consider a friendly area.
I never understood the animosity myself. One reason I don't live there. Even NY is nicer.
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Old 04-02-2013, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Norfolk, Virginia, USA
80 posts, read 73,032 times
Reputation: 92
wow I don't understand why people are saying hampton roads isn't nice! I've been here a year now and people seem so friendly. Of course I did move from northern VA which seems way more mid-atlantic than southern in attitude so maybe that's why. But everyone I meet from northern VA agrees that norfolk is much more friendly and southern. Of course it is sorta southern "lite". Go into the countryside and it gets real southern real fast lol. All in all though I love this area. I'm 26 and live near Ghent and there seems to be plenty of young people. Watch out for sailors though! We even get French sailors here occasionally and they're just as bad but with a much more charming accent lol. Of course they're fine if you want a one night fling which my roommate seems to be into these days....sorry....too much info?
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Old 04-05-2013, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Where I'm At
539 posts, read 292,642 times
Reputation: 1119
Quote:
Originally Posted by mscbrown View Post
okayy so I was looking into moving to NYC but the cost of living and having to live to work instead of work to live life was not appealing to me. I want beaches and nice people.

Okayy So I am african american and a woman. I have some meat on my bones but I am not coming until the summer so I have plenty of time to lose weight I don't think it's cute to be "thick" i just live in a cold place and its hard to excersize without having to be stuck in an expensive two year gym membership.

anyway I plan on attending the norfolk university so the clique thing i hear about doesnt bother me I will be able to meet a lot of people at school and I am far from shy. Plus I come from an area that is like that also and people that have moved where I live have done just fine....

but anywho I date white men and black men (I do not like trash or ghetto but preppy bothers me also), I will def. take on the roll as a beach bum and I come from Wisconsin so the fact that people drink a lot here warms my heart =)
how will my dating life be??

and I have heard of people mention a bad dating scene here and mention bigger cities have better ones but from what I hear bigger cities mean tons of boyfriends but they dont marry (if at all) until their mid 30's and my eggs are gonna be dry by then!!) so if something is more family orientated it could work out for a women looking to get married favor right??
Hampton Roads is actually one of my absolute favorite places to visit and hang out. I loved it so much that I actually spent an entire summer (3 months) up there a few years ago. The weather was great, the people were friendly and the walking and hiking trails up there were absolutely gorgeous !

I do, however, wish that Virginia Beach were as beautiful as the beaches in Florida, Mississippi, and Alabama (a.k.a. the Gulf Coast). Virginia Beach is still beautiful, nonetheless. There's something very calming about being around water (oceans, lakes, rivers, creeks, ponds, streams, etc.); it's pleasantly surreal at times.

As far as the men in Hampton Roads, there are plenty of them and if you're looking for someone to just kick it with (friend with benefits), then you're definitely in the right place. Hampton Roads is a military town and most single military guys aren't exactly looking for a wife a girlfriend or friend with benefits, yes, but a wife (who may or may not be faithful to him while he's away and she has to stay, in a military town with thousands upon thousands of horny single and married military men), no .

It is what it is. So, if you're looking for casual dating, you'll be in the right town. If you're looking for a long-term relationship that might lead to marriage, you'll have a hard time finding one with a military guy who has enough on his plate already.

You're young, so enjoy your freedom. Focus on your job, your hobbies, and exploring your new surroundings. I can assure you that while you're out exploring Hampton Roads you'll meet plenty of men. No worries, girlfriend no worries .
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