Virginia Beach.....Personified! (Chesapeake: wage, retirement, office)

[CosmicWizard]

Someone started a similar thread on the General US forum, asking people to post their impression of what various US cities would be like IF the city was a person.

So I pose the question here, If Virginia Beach was a person, how would you describe that person?

Here's my description:

Virginia Beach: A retired navy man from the enlisted ranks, shaved head, works a typical low wage fulltime job to supplement his retirement pay. Raised in the south, but lost most of his southern ways over time. He's becomming more of a yankee every year. Owns a samll boat and loves to go fishing on the Chesapeake Bay. Ocassionally thinks about visiting the Edgar Cayce center, but those psychics and alterantive healers scare the beegeesus out of him, so he tunes in to CBN and listens to local boy Pat Robertson instead. Meeting Rudy Boesch would make his day! Has a desire to spend time at the beach oogling the bikini clad tourists, but he just about always gets stuck in a traffic jam trying to get there. On the rare occassion when he gets thru the traffic and makes it to the beach, he can never find a parking place, so he hasn't been to the beach in years. He's an avid sports fan, but he's tired of watching minor league teams. Wishes he would have been an officer, so he could have afforded to retire in San Diego.

Instead of criticizing existing posts, please write your own impression of Virginia Beach personified. Have fun...be creative!


blessings....Franco