According to Forbes, Virginia Beach one of the worst family friendly places (Hampton: to rent, student loan)

[CosmicWizard]

Kumbaya!

[Randomdude]

Originally Posted by CosmicWizard

Henry David Thoreau said words to this effect....It's okay to have castles in the air, now get to work and build a foundation under them. Based on my own experience, it was only when I was diligently involved in building the foundations under my castles, that any good breaks came my way. That may or may not be the case for you too. I sincerely wish you the best in your endeavour to move to a place that will be more harmonious for you. Realize however, for that to happen you absolutely must express a certain level of harmony from inside of you. So perhaps it's time to shift your attention away from all the crap ( which is very real ) that you appear to be so overly focused upon, and start making peace with yourself.

Thats the thing though. I have done absolutely nothing wrong. I have been being set back by things completely out of my control.


When I had to buy a car, I bought the lowest priced car I could possibly find that I could fit in, which cost 13k out the door. I saved up every penny I made working 20-40 hours a week, outside of the gas money I put in my Moms car when I used it to go to college, which I also attended full time. I put down a down payment for about half the cost. I could not buy a used car, because I lack mechanical ability, time, tools to make the constant repairs involved.

I went to college, and I chose a degree field with a high income and fairly employable. I knew that I would have to move to fully use that degree, and planned to go to Charlotte or New York City.

I got terribly sick in college, which messed up my GPA, however it was still respectable, but not enough that I could seriously compete for a spot in a masters program even if I was willing to go in to such huge debt. This illness did a number of other things as well. It ended up getting me fired from my job, which forced me to not be able to pay for my car (luckily my parents loaned me the money so it didnt get repoed) and it also completely nixed my plans on moving anywhere. I was sick to the point of nearly dying and had to stay close to my parents since they were all I had.

Being stuck in the Norfolk/Va Beach area, I had to try to parlay my Finance degree in to accounting, because Finance positions do not exist at all in the area. I was not able to do this, dispite sending out resumes and following leads for nearly a year before I graduated, and had to accept a terrible temp position paying $10 an hour which had nothing to do with accounting or finance. I did such a great job at the "monkey job" they hired me for, that they actually kept me on temp doing mostly operational analysis for about a year, a job worth about 45-50k in the average market (it was supposed to be a six week thing), until they finally hired me on full time. 4 months after I was hired on full time, the office moved to California, and I was laid off. I was one of 2 people they offered to move to California, but I rejected a salary of 38k to live in Los Angeles.

I did not have any health insurance from May 2004 when I graduated college and was kicked off my dads insurance, until May 2007, when I was hired at my current job which covers health insurance 100%. During this period of time, my health deteriorated to such a point where I weighed 125 lbs on a 6'0 large frame. I looked like a skeleton. I could put my hand around my upper arm. This is what happens to a person when they have a chronic stomach condition, and cant afford medical care or medicine. My mother actually located a couple doctors who were willing to declare me fully disabled. However, I refused to go that route because I could still walk, and therefore figured someone else was worse off then I was and needed the assistance more.

By 2007, my car was starting to show age and cost me $1,000s in repairs and maintenance between then and the end of 2008. Pretty much every month something else was breaking. Guess thats what I get for saving money on the front end.

Looking back, I guess I was lucky that I could accept that $10 an hour job in the first place, because my parents were renting me a house they own in Norfolk, where I still live today, for a cut rate rent (about half the market rate), mostly because I was so sick. If I was forced to live in the area at market rate, I cant imagine how I would get by. Additionally, my parents paid for my complete college education. I cant imagine how Id get by with a student loan sitting on my head. Fortunatley as well, my stomach condition has been at a tolerable state for about 2 years, so much as Ive been able to get back to a normal weight.


I have done my best to "build that foundation". Many bad cards in my life have prevented any real results of that effort though.

[Randomdude]

Originally Posted by rtandc

What are you really looking for Randomdude?......should all of us that visit this board get together and all hold hands while we sing Kumbaya and tell you we are all sorry and allow you to blame all of us for your poor lot in life?

Did I blame you for anything? Do I really care if you have any concern for me personally? Not at all.

My only goal with my posts if for more people to accept that

A. Hampton Roads is a worthless hole
B. People like to give themselves far more credit for their position in life then they are actually responsible for. I guess its some sort of ego trip condition of the human psyche.

[CosmicWizard]

randomdude wrote:

Many bad cards in my life have prevented any real results of that effort though.

I don't think anyone is saying that you haven't been dealt some bad cards. I know that I'm not. What I'm saying is that perhaps it's time for you to say SO WHAT, forget about it, and move on to greener pastures.

Ponder this native american proverb:

Yesterday is ashes.
Tomorrow is wood.
Only today does the fire burn brightly.

[Randomdude]

Originally Posted by CosmicWizard

randomdude wrote:

Many bad cards in my life have prevented any real results of that effort though.

I don't think anyone is saying that you haven't been dealt some bad cards. I know that I'm not. What I'm saying is that perhaps it's time for you to say SO WHAT, forget about it, and move on to greener pastures.

Ponder this native american proverb:

Yesterday is ashes.
Tomorrow is wood.
Only today does the fire burn brightly.

I am moving on to greener pastures, or trying to as quickly as possible. Does that relieve me of my right to complain about the pasture Im in, or maybe prevent some other unsuspecting poor sole from digging themself in to this pit?

What if some person with my experience and an accounting degree was considering Hampton Roads for some odd reason? Or a young person not connected to the service? I probably could have saved them the worst mistake they probably would ever make.

You never know who is reading these posts. It turns out, it seems mostly people who already live here read them, but there are a number who probably read this board when researching places to move. I know I am passively active on the Indianapolis, Raleigh, Cincinnati, St. Louis, and New York boards. In fact, Indianapolis was one of the top boards I posted on for a while.

So, I **** off a few people who are in love with this dump.....so what? I think what I have to say has a great deal of value, and at least a few others do as well considering Ive picked up quite a bit of my reputation points on the Hampton Roads board.

[telemonster]

Eh, if you worked 20 hours some weeks, you should have figured out how cars work :-)

They ain't magic, and you can pirate the service manuals and find all sorts of information online.

[Randomdude]

Originally Posted by telemonster

Eh, if you worked 20 hours some weeks, you should have figured out how cars work :-)

They ain't magic, and you can pirate the service manuals and find all sorts of information online.

I only worked the occassional 20 hour weeks for the first few months I was there, during which, I had no car, and walked to work.

I was promoted to assistant manager at that point and worked 40 hours most weeks (sometimes just a bit less and sometimes a bit more), until I got fired because my illness took so much out of me and required so many doctors visits and hospitalizations that I couldnt show up for my shifts.

Full time school, full time job kept me gone from about 8am to 10pm almost every single day, except Sunday, where I usually had about half the day open (since there was no class and I rarely had to pull a double shift at work), and when I would do most of my assignments for the week.

[CosmicWizard]

randomdude wrote:

I am moving on to greener pastures, or trying to as quickly as possible. Does that relieve me of my right to complain about the pasture Im in, or maybe prevent some other unsuspecting poor sole from digging themself in to this pit?

No one is attempting to take away your right to complain. You know as welll as I do that you can complain all day long if that's what you choose to do. What I'm doing my best to help you understand, is that complaining is a waste of time and energy. It won't change your past, but it will most definitely attract more of the same into your present and into your future. One definition of insanity is to keep focusing on the lousy hand you've been dealt while expecting to be dealt a better hand in the future. If you want to be dealt a better hand ( and I think you really do ), it can only happen if you make space for it. Right now you are so full of self pity, that most of your inner space is filled up with that. There is no room for good fortune to come your way. So complain all you want to, but realize that complaining is holding your good fortune at bay.

Here's something to play with if you are interested. At least once per hour ( better to do it even more frequently ), interrupt your habitual train of though and repeat this cluster of positive statements:

My life has taken a turn for the better.
My wishes, hopes, and dreams are coming to fruition.
My future is looking brighter and brighter.
My outlook is hopeful and optimistic, with positive expectations.
I am feeling better and better every day.

These statements are likely to feel like a bunch of BS when you initially start saying them, but SO WHAT! To counteract the BS factor, add these words to the end of the affirmation cluster....This is my CHOSEN reality, and so it is.

[rtandc]

Originally Posted by Randomdude

Did I blame you for anything? Do I really care if you have any concern for me personally? Not at all.

My only goal with my posts if for more people to accept that

A. Hampton Roads is a worthless hole
B. People like to give themselves far more credit for their position in life then they are actually responsible for. I guess its some sort of ego trip condition of the human psyche.

A. Maybe more people would take your advice more seriously when they asked for advice about this area if you gave then a reason beside calling it a worthless hole.

B. After wiping away my tears from reading your post which talked about your life history...BOO BOO.......I dont think Hampton Roads has anything to do with where you are or are not in your personal life, I think you are just one of those people that have a "B" type personality that wants someone to hold your hand while you go though life. Plus it seems you want everything handed to you instead of going out and taking the risk to get it yourself....

C. Grow a pair, be a man, set both short and long term goals and take what ever risk are involved to reach those goals.......will you fail?......with your atttitute you just might....but there is always hope......
Someone with a positive attitude does not dwell on what happened yesterday or last week or 5 years in the past, that person should only care about today and what goals he has set for himself tomorrow.

D. Trying to play the blame game by using anything else (like where you live) is just a cop out plain and simple

[Randomdude]

Originally Posted by rtandc

A. Maybe more people would take your advice more seriously when they asked for advice about this area if you gave then a reason beside calling it a worthless hole.

Oh, you mean like the article I posted originally from Forbes? Or my endless stats and data which you have blatantly pointed out that you dont care about?

Originally Posted by rtandc

B. After wiping away my tears from reading your post which talked about your life history...BOO BOO.......I dont think Hampton Roads has anything to do with where you are or are not in your personal life,

Really, thats funny, because I could have sworn that the fact that Hampton Roads has no Finance jobs, pays poorly for accounting jobs, and is one of the most overpriced areas on the east coast is about 99% to blame for me having a poor paying job in accounting which doesnt afford me the ability to purchase market rate housing.

Originally Posted by rtandc

I think you are just one of those people that have a "B" type personality that wants someone to hold your hand while you go though life. Plus it seems you want everything handed to you instead of going out and taking the risk to get it yourself....

Lol. Youre hilarious. I overcome more on a daily basis then you probably will ever face, and I do it without ANY ONE holding my hand.

Maybe I should have simply been declared disabled, then youd have some legitimate reason to *****.

Originally Posted by rtandc

C. Grow a pair, be a man, set both short and long term goals and take what ever risk

I invite you to say that to my face. My guess is that youll probably regret that decision. The anonymous nature of the internet has been a god send for people who choose to insult others through a computer screen. However, it also affords those who lack a pair to act as if they do, and probably makes them sleep each night with a smile on their face.

Originally Posted by rtandc

are involved to reach those goals.......will you fail?......with your atttitute you just might....but there is always hope......

Who, exactly, is going to dig me out of the hole should my "risk" fail? You? Not likely, however, you will probably be the first one to blame my poor "decision" for me failing. When it comes to people like you, everyone is damned in your book who doesnt succeed. If you dont take risks, youre a *****, if you take the risk, and it fails, then youre an idiot for taking the risk. Its the bandwagon of the illogical.

Originally Posted by rtandc

Someone with a positive attitude does not dwell on what happened yesterday or last week or 5 years in the past, that person should only care about today and what goals he has set for himself tomorrow.

Im trying to figure out where I claimed to have a positive attitude?

Originally Posted by rtandc

D. Trying to play the blame game by using anything else (like where you live) is just a cop out plain and simple

I have shown statistics that claim elsewise. People who claim that a person is completely responsible for their lot in life are idiots, plain and simple.