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Addendum: there was another poster here (forgot who it was already) who mentioned something about people moving here from other places for jobs or other various reasons then decided they do not like it and bash the place. LOL All I can tell you is everything is relative and my view is if you were born and raised here or in the surrounding area then you are very used to the culture. If you've lived here for an extended period of time... guess what? You are used to the culture. If you come from another place and have travelled you are seeing "culture" from a different perspective which is every bit as legitimate as those who know and love hampton roads. My view is that most of the people that I have met in this area who are fairly new transplants (within 2-3 years or so) have sung the same tune to me over and over again... and that tune sounds eerily familiar to each other: They do not like the culture of South Hampton Roads. You may love it. You may hate it. My view is that you should go where the winds carry you... you just need to be realistic about what you expect and then have a ready made escape plan if you do not like it here. I will say in closing, though, that the people on this thread who do not like it here keep saying the same things over and over again. That should be a red flag to you not being from here. This is not a friendly town and many places that I have lived have been infinitely more friendly than this place. I truly believe that you are not going to find an over abundance of "genuinely nice" people. It is what it is. Good luck, though.
So when are you leaving? I see by your older postings you hated DFW because it was an unfriendly area so you moved, now you hate Hampton Roads and you are doing your best to tell everyone not to move here because it is also an unfriendly place..... but you have been here almost 3 years yourself ...Just thought I would ask....You know sometimes its not the place but the person.. Most peoples reactions fall in line with how the original contact is made by the other person...if you are an unfriendly person yourself then would you expect anything different in regards to the type of reply you receive from the person you are trying to make contact with...... I am sure you see where I am heading with this reply so I will end it but maybe a change in your outlook would differ the types of responses you receive from the local residents in a certain area.........But lets see........just for giggles...... DFW area well over 5 million people....Hampton Roads well over 1.5 million people.....That is 7 million unfriendly people living together if I am suppose to believe in your theory....
Sure there are problems and issues in Hampton Roads just like anyother place across the US of A and having this forum to discuss those problems with possible new residents is great......But using the "unfriendly" theory just does not fly with me and I am sure it does not with most other residents of Hampton Roads....Want to try again or is that your final answer?
So when are you leaving? I see by your older postings you hated DFW because it was an unfriendly area so you moved, now you hate Hampton Roads and you are doing your best to tell everyone not to move here because it is also an unfriendly place..... but you have been here almost 3 years yourself ...Just thought I would ask....You know sometimes its not the place but the person.. Most peoples reactions fall in line with how the original contact is made by the other person...if you are an unfriendly person yourself then would you expect anything different in regards to the type of reply you receive from the person you are trying to make contact with...... I am sure you see where I am heading with this reply so I will end it but maybe a change in your outlook would differ the types of responses you receive from the local residents in a certain area.........But lets see........just for giggles...... DFW area well over 5 million people....Hampton Roads well over 1.5 million people.....That is 7 million unfriendly people living together if I am suppose to believe in your theory....
Sure there are problems and issues in Hampton Roads just like anyother place across the US of A and having this forum to discuss those problems with possible new residents is great......But using the "unfriendly" theory just does not fly with me and I am sure it does not with most other residents of Hampton Roads....Want to try again or is that your final answer?
As soon as my husband can oblige, we are moving and it can't come soon enough.
Admittedly, I had a tough time while living in DFW... had a very difficult time with the culture there as well, but since leaving have come to really respect Texas in ways that I never thought I could. In Texas, I was called the N-word 3 times... may not be a big deal to some, but fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it) I had never had that happen before in my life. I can honestly say, since living here though, that I have come across a new kind of meanness - lol. In retrospect, the majority of Texans that I came across were literally some of the nicest, most genuine, kindest people that I have ever met ... and I am now doing my darndest to let people know what a great place Texas is. Is Texas my top pick? No. My experiences in MA (where I'm from), FL and NM were hands down a lot better over all, but despite the N-word comments (lol) I would seriously consider moving back there.
Texans are genuinely nice compared to people here... but I guess you don't know what you've got until it's gone. I was wrong about Texas and readily and humbly admit it.
No I don't think that is the intent rtandc. I don't think it would be possible to meet 1.5 million new people in 3 years anyways. Let's do the math:
3 years * 365 days per year = 1095 days
1.5 million people to meet / 1095 days = 1,369.863 people to meet per day, on average.
1,369.863 people to meet per day / 24 hours per day = 57.0776 people per hour, assuming no sleep is involved, every day, for 3 years straight. That's almost 1 new person every minute.
Now let's factor in, say, 6 hours sleep per day. So that leaves 18 hours per day. That's 76.1035 people per hour, or 1.268 persons every minute of every day, for 3 years.
I'd suggest that this is more of a general statement, rather than implying that every person in Hampton Roads is unfriendly (including myself which I really find hard to believe; and I personally never liked it enough to settle here) to everyone including their friends and family / children / coworkers / pets, etc.
In general:
Let's assume for the moment that there was never a negative post regarding Hampton Roads, and whenever a person asked for feedback about the area, everyone responded with something along the lines of, 'Hampton Roads is great! It's Wonderful! Everyone should live here! It's perfect... paradise; I find myself totally fulfilled with my life here! I'd shrivel up and die if I had to move away!'. Would that make things right? I don't think so. Personally I would find that a little bit freaky.
I don't consider Hampton Roads to be full of unfriendly people. But on a personal level, I feel there's not a 'good fit' between me and the area. Obviously I can't change the area to suit my needs and desires, so I'll ask myself, what is it about 'me' that doesn't fit with Hampton Roads? Could I change those things about 'me' to fit into HR? No. So I'm moving on.
But if you are considering a move here, try this:
As others have stated here and elsewhere, the best way to tell whether you'll like it here, is to come visit, and stay for a week or two. Try to find the things you like, try talking to folks who live here (in person, not on these forums; as it's often more comfortable to over-exaggerate positively and negatively in forum posts, than in person; I seriously doubt corrosive conversations which occur on these forums are conducted in person). While in town, go do the things you normally do in your current location. See how you feel as you go about doing them. That's the best way to determine how 'harmonic' you will be with the area.
This whole "the people of Hampton Roads are unfriendly" or "they're not genuine" is really kinda getting to me. That's one thing I began to pride myself upon while living there. I always felt the people of HR were "real", especially the ones who's family was firmly rooted in the area. They seemed to take pride in where they came from and what they had, and the fact they were so "real" was part of the charm. I could probably throw together a list of 20-30 names off the top of my head of people I got to know very well during my time in HR who were honest, respectful, charming, and genuinely friendly people. HR was the type of place where you could strike up a conversation at the store or bus stop or wherever with relative ease. People are more open and willing to connect with each other, even if it's just in passing. They make eye contact on the streets and if you smile and nod, they smile and nod. I loved that about HR. That's something I miss terribly since moving away. I love California, but here in San Francisco everyone has a wall up, and sometimes it's hard to get them to take it down. In fact, the only person I've met so far who had no trace of a wall or barrier, was an elderly black man who was born and raised in Raleigh. And come to find out, he worked in Norfolk for 20 years. Go figure.
ok I have a question xgrendelx. But first, congratz on the move to San Fran! (Seems like our packing is NEVER gonna end. geez)
How long did you live in HR? And, how long did you have to live in HR, before you could come up with the list of 20-30 people? Reason I'm asking is because, I noticed you observed a 'wall' that San Francisco people seem to have put up around themselves, and you've been there for only a couple months right? To be honest, that's how we've felt, since we've lived in HR (for about 3 years). So a lot of this, has to do with *personal perspectives*: xgrendelx finds HR people open and friendly, yet the San Fran people have a wall. In comparison, someone from San Fran may very well sense the opposite: they may find San Fran people open and friendly, but HR people have a wall up. Does that make sense?
I really think that, any given locale simply cannot be all things to all people. The trick is finding the good fit between the individual, and the prospective location (city, town, etc.)
As soon as my husband can oblige, we are moving and it can't come soon enough.
Admittedly, I had a tough time while living in DFW... had a very difficult time with the culture there as well, but since leaving have come to really respect Texas in ways that I never thought I could. In Texas, I was called the N-word 3 times... may not be a big deal to some, but fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it) I had never had that happen before in my life. I can honestly say, since living here though, that I have come across a new kind of meanness - lol. In retrospect, the majority of Texans that I came across were literally some of the nicest, most genuine, kindest people that I have ever met ... and I am now doing my darndest to let people know what a great place Texas is. Is Texas my top pick? No. My experiences in MA (where I'm from), FL and NM were hands down a lot better over all, but despite the N-word comments (lol) I would seriously consider moving back there.
Texans are genuinely nice compared to people here... but I guess you don't know what you've got until it's gone. I was wrong about Texas and readily and humbly admit it.
See there you go......You think a place is bad until you are no longer there....Nothing changed about DWF...the only thing that changed was your attitude....just what I was telling you to change when looking at the residents of Hampton Roads in general....
No I don't think that is the intent rtandc. I don't think it would be possible to meet 1.5 million new people in 3 years anyways. Let's do the math:
3 years * 365 days per year = 1095 days
1.5 million people to meet / 1095 days = 1,369.863 people to meet per day, on average.
1,369.863 people to meet per day / 24 hours per day = 57.0776 people per hour, assuming no sleep is involved, every day, for 3 years straight. That's almost 1 new person every minute.
Now let's factor in, say, 6 hours sleep per day. So that leaves 18 hours per day. That's 76.1035 people per hour, or 1.268 persons every minute of every day, for 3 years.
I'd suggest that this is more of a general statement, rather than implying that every person in Hampton Roads is unfriendly (including myself which I really find hard to believe; and I personally never liked it enough to settle here) to everyone including their friends and family / children / coworkers / pets, etc.
In general:
Let's assume for the moment that there was never a negative post regarding Hampton Roads, and whenever a person asked for feedback about the area, everyone responded with something along the lines of, 'Hampton Roads is great! It's Wonderful! Everyone should live here! It's perfect... paradise; I find myself totally fulfilled with my life here! I'd shrivel up and die if I had to move away!'. Would that make things right? I don't think so. Personally I would find that a little bit freaky.
I don't consider Hampton Roads to be full of unfriendly people. But on a personal level, I feel there's not a 'good fit' between me and the area. Obviously I can't change the area to suit my needs and desires, so I'll ask myself, what is it about 'me' that doesn't fit with Hampton Roads? Could I change those things about 'me' to fit into HR? No. So I'm moving on.
But if you are considering a move here, try this:
As others have stated here and elsewhere, the best way to tell whether you'll like it here, is to come visit, and stay for a week or two. Try to find the things you like, try talking to folks who live here (in person, not on these forums; as it's often more comfortable to over-exaggerate positively and negatively in forum posts, than in person; I seriously doubt corrosive conversations which occur on these forums are conducted in person). While in town, go do the things you normally do in your current location. See how you feel as you go about doing them. That's the best way to determine how 'harmonic' you will be with the area.
Lets lets skip the math part....But I must say "wow" I am so impressed, you must feel like such a forum master with info like that....
I never said anything about negative posting being improper...heck check my history you will find many negative issues that I discuss about Hampton Roads.....But these are issues that most all Hampton Roads residents have to deal with......Traffic, tunnels, jet noise, various school districts, crime etc.....And these are issues that possible new residents should be made aware of before deciding to move to Hampton Roads...........But unfriendly people...sorry that is just a cop out and more of a personal issue and not an issue that the possible new residents of Hampton Roads have to deal with......Just look at Christines past posting....she hated DFW and told people not to move there because it was an unfriendly place to live....now all of the sudden in her last post she thinks the majority of Texans that she came across were literally some of the nicest, most genuine, kindest people that she had ever met .......Hello...see any issues here........
Sure at times we can have some great debates about the issues involving Hampton Roads and most times its one of those no harm no foul endings to the thread.....but at the same time you have real people asking real questions about the possible relocation to this area......and when someone comes out using such a lame excuse as dont move here because every one is unfriendly ........Sorry I am going to call them out on it...
ok I have a question xgrendelx. But first, congratz on the move to San Fran! (Seems like our packing is NEVER gonna end. geez)
How long did you live in HR? And, how long did you have to live in HR, before you could come up with the list of 20-30 people? Reason I'm asking is because, I noticed you observed a 'wall' that San Francisco people seem to have put up around themselves, and you've been there for only a couple months right? To be honest, that's how we've felt, since we've lived in HR (for about 3 years). So a lot of this, has to do with *personal perspectives*: xgrendelx finds HR people open and friendly, yet the San Fran people have a wall. In comparison, someone from San Fran may very well sense the opposite: they may find San Fran people open and friendly, but HR people have a wall up. Does that make sense?
I really think that, any given locale simply cannot be all things to all people. The trick is finding the good fit between the individual, and the prospective location (city, town, etc.)
I get where you're coming from, for sure. I grew up in HR, so I lived between Norfolk and Virginia Beach for 22 years. The people on my list are mostly people I grew up with. People from my neighborhood, or people I met through work. My family owns a local business in Norfolk, so I spent LOTS of time there as a kid just hanging out, and eventually I started working there myself when I turned 15, so I've known some of our customers 10+ years. Some of them are some of the best people I know. Some of them are complete jerks. What I was getting at though, is that the people of HR seem more "open" than the people here in SF. That's not to say the people of SF aren't friendly once they open up (actually everyone has been, it's just hard to get passed that wall at first).
When I walk around, in any city, I try to make eye contact with the other people on the sidewalk just so I can nod and smile, and when they nod and smile back you kind-of go, "Wow, what a nice guy." It's a small form of connection with the people you're sharing that space with and I love it. It's a bit of recognition in a place filled with unfamiliar faces, and it feels good. Maybe it's weird to try and look at every person I pass on the street, but it's just what I do, haha. Out of all the places I've been, the most receptive and open people (or the people who responded to me at least) are in Richmond, Baltimore, Norfolk, and Dublin Ireland. San Francisco is a wonderful place, and it's a dream come true for me to be living here (finally!), but I do miss that about HR. I was discussing this with a friend, someone who was born and raised here in the Bay Area, and his theory is that many of the SF natives have moved away, and now that the city is mostly made up of transplants, SF is having a hard time discovering its own culture again and no one really knows what's socially acceptable when out in public and what's not. So for now, a lot of people come across as a bit cynical. Not sure if it's that or not, but this "isolation" thing is pretty common here. However it's not all bad. That isolation gives everyone a bit anonymity which in turn allows me to be whoever I want. Sometimes it's a breath of fresh air, and sometimes it's stifling. Either way, it's a change of pace which is what I was looking for.
You're right though, no one place can be all things to all people. Absolutely.
yeah I feel mighty proud about myself. My morale is soaring. Forum master hehe. funny!
In all seriousness, the intended point was, I don't think the poster was inferring that, literally, every single person in HR is unfriendly. That just seems a bit ridiculous. Apparently I missed the mark when attempting to make that point.
The last segment of the post, beginning with: 'In General:' was not directed at you nor anyone in particular rtandc. It was intended as a general comment. Perhaps it would have made more sense as a separate post.
xgrendelx: That's a good attitude to have. Keep it up! I should try that myself, though I think I'm a bit shy. I'll have to work on that. I guess there's a fine line between 'looking in the eye' and 'Psycho Stare' eh?
Last edited by relohunter; 01-28-2010 at 02:55 PM..
yeah I feel mighty proud about myself. My morale is soaring. Forum master hehe. funny!
In all seriousness, the intended point was, I don't think the poster was inferring that, literally, every single person in HR is unfriendly. That just seems a bit ridiculous. Apparently I missed the mark when attempting to make that point.
The last segment of the post, beginning with: 'In General:' was not directed at you nor anyone in particular rtandc. It was intended as a general comment. Perhaps it would have made more sense as a separate post.
xgrendelx: That's a good attitude to have. Keep it up! I should try that myself, though I think I'm a bit shy. I'll have to work on that. I guess there's a fine line between 'looking in the eye' and 'Psycho Stare' eh?
No really...I was impressed ....that was a really good come back with the numbers....LOL
Is Hampton Roads anywhere close to perfect....heck no... but no one has been able to tell me where that perfect city is located at because utopia does not exist....Now dont get me wrong I'm 50 years old, semi-retired dont have to worry about finding a job or a place I can afford to live or any other issues younger people may have to deal with today so yes maybe I am missing the point on a few of the complaints that people have....
Heck all I want to do at this point in my life now is travel...... and most of the day today I was sitting outside my RV in shorts and a tee-shirt in 75 degree weather enjoying the view down in the Fla keys while I typed my replies.....Now this place may not be utopia either but it sure felt darn close to it today....LOL
But to dump on a place because you think its unfriendly is very vain IMO...
Kind of like someone living at Sandbridge on the oceanfront and then complaining about the sand.....Or living in NW Montana and complaining about the snow.....I dont think you are going to get a whole lot of favorable responses with any of those complaints....
Last edited by rtandc; 01-28-2010 at 05:02 PM..
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