My Haole Boy (Honolulu: fit in, transplants, lawyer)

[DDane]

Originally Posted by IntoTheMystic

Still not sure what you are saying. The haole kids deserve the treatment?

Why are you trying to read some secret message behind what I'm saying when there is none?

Maybe this is the problem. The message is crystal clear.

[IntoTheMystic]

Here are the links
Hawaii Tribune-Herald :: Hilo, Hawaii

Hawaii Tribune-Herald :: Hilo, Hawaii

[cynmkolohe]

I read those articles with a real sense of sadness. The children in this school deserve so much more. But the system needs serious, fundamental change.

As I've mentioned often, I came to Hawaii as a teacher. There are some classrooms where it all comes together, some where it just does not. I've been in classrooms where it is a teacher's dream--but just a few doors down, a nightmare. And, yes, these extremes exist on individual campuses. For some teachers, from class period to class period.

It is a complicated mix that includes, but is not limited to: improper behavior of students, DOE politics, misguided federal and state policies, wasted resources, poorly trained teachers and lack of support for teachers from families and administrative staff.

There are many teachers with a true love of education who have left the field. Very troubling.

I do wish the new principal well. But I can say this...he could be the best principal in the country, but if parents and the DOE/federal policies make it impossible to implement any changes or deal with problems in the classrooms, he is facing a very long uphill battle.

[DDane]

I'd have to question the level of intelligence of the person who thought that getting yelled at by the Bus driver then being called a puss-y for being weak and crying was the equivalent of an unprovoked attack and sexual harrasment.

Verbal abuse maybe, and reckless driving, and he would be subject to disiplenary action, and probably fired. I don't know the details of the situation, like if the girl was acting like a maniac on board the bus or not, if she was she might get yelled at by myself. But it sure sounds like a case of a parent blowing something out of proportion to me. I know one thing for sure though, females hate those types of words, especially the "c" word, and go ballistic when it gets thrown out.

Do we have the best schools in the nation? Of course not, everybody knows that, but we continually work to fix that, and will only accomplish that with everyones help. Should we all turn into cry babying maniacs when something small happens? Throw out lawsuits? Accuse of sexual harrasement when we don't like the words? When a samoan guy comes and kicks your door in because your acting like a jackass after hitting his car and your girlfirend goes ballistic and tries to assault the samoan is it racially motivated when he kicks your ass?

I don't think so.

We are all angels in our own eyes. When we start to take personal responsiblity in our parenting, our actions, as well as our childrens schooling instead of playing the blame game maybe then our schools, our lives will get better.

In other words, if the school your kids goes to sucks, then you should be asking yourself, what is it that you could personally do to improve the school and the education quality of your children. After all when you boil it down, all your kids have to depend on, is thier very own parents.

[Sorcerer68]

Originally Posted by NanawaleJulie

As a mother, this story breaks my heart. At that young of age to have to hitchhike or walk miles alone is so scary and sad. I hope this hasn't colored you as a person and that it is not something that has affected you for life. It is too bad kids are so mean. I have a much younger step brother, who is overweight and he gets made fun of a lot on the mainland. I don't know how to make this change. Kids are cruel no matter where you are. It seems as though this is just one more example of how bad kids can be to each other. If every parent had regular conversations with their kids about bullying and how wrong it is, this would help-not end it, but help. Aloha and best wishes, Julie

Julie, my story is an example of how racism and bigotry are learned. I had no idea what a Haole was, I knew I had different physical characteristics than other kids but it never occured to me to hate them because I wasn't raised that way. The local boy friend I made (above post) who played with me for a whole afternoon and then threw rocks at me the next day with his father apparently learned about it during the time between. Go to the police? That's a laugh. They were all related. Go to the teacher? My teacher Mrs Doi in Naalehu used to like to beat me with a boat oar. I was 8. The "bullies are everywhere" argument is bulls**** in this case. Once my mother went to the principal. The principal in this school was a Haole. She called the two instigators in. That afternoon my beating was the worst I'd ever gotten and they were horrific from that point on. Nobody would or could help me. This is specific and it's different from normaly bullying. And it still happens. I lived in the Ozarks, Northwest Florida and the Skoal chewing, cowboy infested "California Ozarks" (North SLO County) and had a little normal bullying but it was NOTHING compared to this. I've asked many kids during my informal polls at the Borders in Prince Kuhio Plaza in Hilo and they report it's still happening. The whiter and blonder, the worse they have it. The sad part of my story is that my parents had the money to put me in private school and didn't.

The way this has affected me is that I'm hypersensitive to racism, bigotry, homophobia and the like. I have zero tolerance for it. If someone thinks this way, I want nothing whatever to do with them. I changed brokerages in Hilo for this reason, the Principal Broker hated haoles and yelled it across the office at me. This is probably the most well known brokerage in town. This was 2004. I cleaned out my desk and found a new office. Thankfully I didn't encounter a lot of that. Some dirty looks but that was about it. It's harder if you're blonde and mahu.

Now I live in the most diverse city on the planet and I never stop and count how many of what kind are around me because my mind just doesn't work that way. If someone reminds me, then I might notice. The other day I was interviewing a potential office and I did notice that everyone in the office is Korean/Korean American. It doesn't bother me, I think I can bring a little "color" to the organisation. I don't care what race, color, creed or whatever a person is as long as they treat me well.

I keep telling my story because I think it's important. If that makes me a "cry babying maniac", so be it. Those adults who poo-poo it are doing kids a disservice. Maybe they are doing great and if they are, that makes me really, really happy. I hope to hear this mostly go away in my lifetime. It's needless. I'm not bitter and I have a good life. Many of the kids who used to bully me are poor, drug addicted and in prison.

I was lucky with bus drivers in Naalehu, the ones I had were really cool. One would bring disco tapes and play them on the way home. I think she paid for the tape deck in the bus herself.

[Badatta2de]

I would like to know, Sorcerer, what you think could have been done to help you in your situation, short of moving back to the mainland that is. I will be moving to the Volcano area soon, and no matter what happens, we are just going to have to deal with whatever comes. I have 3 kids that will be going to school, and don't really know what to expect. I guess what I'm asking is would you rather have been home schooled? I have thought about doing it from time to time given the complete lack of faith I have in public education all OVER the states. But do you think you would have been better off? I am not trying to put you down in any way. I got bullied in school and it was no fun at all. At the same time I know I'd be a completely different person if I hadn't have stuck it out. I truly am sorry for what you went through in your youth. But I really would like to know, if you could change it, what would you do?

[DDane]

Are gay kids treated unfarily in schools around the USA?
Yes they are.

Does it only happen in Hawaii?
No it does not.

How do you fix something like that?
Active parenting would help. Living or sending your kids to schools where the kids are more socially accepting is even more helpfull. Sending the kids to a school out in the boonies where it is harder to be accepted when your different is probably the last thing you should be doing.

I would think the equivalent school on Oahu would be Waipahu, or Waianae. Alot of kids get harrased there for multiple reasons, and the staff get overwelmed by it. If I had a choice, I would never send my kids to these schools without my watchfull eye.

[Paddywagons]

Selling real estate in Naalehu, times are slow, it wouldn't be good for business if the truth came out how unwelcome many white children feel because of prejudice. Let's be honest, somebody in the Hawaiian community must act responsibly and stand up to this injustice. It will only create a backlash that will hurt Hawaiians.

[apacificco]

I hear all this talk about Bad kids hurting good ones but where are the teachers?, and if any kid hurt my kid i would be at the parents door or have the parents called in class to talk about there bad out of control child and if that didn't work I would be contacting a lawyer and suing someone. Wow.
Cool aloha spirit

[apacificco]

I read a good post on moving to Maui on here dated 6/17 It was insightful and there is hope if you really want to move. It was called my experiences moving to Maui. Maybe you already read it. Not sure what utility bills would go for.

Good luck and never give up on your dreams.

Mike