Your story: Was it worth it to move to Hawaii? (Kailua: homes, living in)

[croatoan]

bbwbbw, What do you think makes Hawaii perfect?

[hilolarry]

my wife and me began coming to Hawaii in 1988, we came at least once a year until 2005 when we bought a house and now live here full time. in all those years, from visiting to living here, i can only recall one time being treated as an outsider and it was just a look and the type of service we received.

one thing most people coming from the mainland forget is to SLOW DOWN! take your time, it's not a rat race here. now having lived in Puerto Rico i was used to island life and we moved her specifically for the slower pace and the true melting pot of cultures.

as for fitting in, we just had a block party two nights ago at one of the neighbors house's, there were people of all imaginable races/skin colors and even languages all having a great time. my immediate neighbors are Japanese, German, Hawaiian and haloe (a term by the way which actually refers to anyone not born in Hawaii not juts "whites").

if you come to Hawaii wanting to turn it into the mainland, then you will never see it as paradise. also, to those of us not on Oahu, we see Oahu and Honolulu as being just as messed up with traffic and crime as the mainland. here we do not even lock our doors unless we are going to be gone for a few days.

the key is to learn the local customs and then become part of them, not try and change them and people will be able to tell right away of you are fitting in or trying to change things and will react accordingly. last, and i think this is where "whites" make mistakes when they move to Hawaii, remember here you are a minority, come down off your high horse and learn and embrace some new cultural holidays and traditions and learn that flip-flops are slippers and shopping carts are wagons and fit in and you will find paradise!

[croatoan]

Originally Posted by hilolarry

the key is to learn the local customs and then become part of them, not try and change them and people will be able to tell right away of you are fitting in or trying to change things and will react accordingly.

This is what I dislike about the whole Hawaiian attitude. They are only accepting if you act like them. That is NOT aloha!

[hilolarry]

That is the same anywhere, be it Hawaii or a small town in California, if you think everything should be changed you will not be accepted. i lived in a small town in California where all businesses closed on Sunday and during the week most closed by 5pm, if i had gone around saying how dumb that was and how in New York everything was always open, i would not have fit in and not been accepted in the small community. accepting local cultures is part of living anywhere, it just seems to be an issue for many people moving to Hawaii because they want to bring their stress and rat race with them and then complain when "locals" do not want to play that game and do not want chasing the dollar to become part of island life.

when i first lived in Puerto Rico my family was always upset that everything was manyana (tomorrow). we wanted it now. we quickly learned to adjust to island pace.

aloha is not allowing your culture to be destroyed by people who want everything to be changed, that my friend is cultural suicide, ask the native Americans how that worked out for them.

and last it is human nature to gravitate more toward people who are "like you" and if learning to say slipper or to take off your shoes before entering a house or never going to visit without taking a gift is too hard for you then you should stay on the mainland and in the culture that you are so accustomed too, so accustomed to in fact that you no longer see it as a culture but more as the way you expect everyone to live.

[The Man in SATX]

It is disheartening to hear that this is occuring. I know that when I lived in Hawaii a few years back.. I didnt see or hear of any of this prejudice. I would love to move back and eventually will when I get older.. it is just disheartening to hear this!

[Brav989]

Originally Posted by croatoan

This is what I dislike about the whole Hawaiian attitude. They are only accepting if you act like them. That is NOT aloha!

It's called assimilation

[HMcD]

-----Aloha717200

I've lived here four years and this is pretty much the advice I would give you. There are expat groups that you can hang with but the advice is right on. You can 'assume' over the years that a local is your friend but come the crunch, he's local and you're a &*#* haole.

And SweetBeet, you're right on, too. But there is one misapprehension. This is not the US of A. It is a third-world country, somewhere between the Philippines and Puerto Rico. And it's run like one. I really would like to discuss this with you about four years after you move here. It would be very interesting to me to see the changes (if any) in your opinions.

Thanks for all the discussion.

[Jungjohann]

Thats funny, in over thirty years here I've found the opposite to be true. When my construction company was up and running, the locals always returned the tools when the job was pau, haoles were a different matter all together.

Aloha

[jennyjaxx]

i moved here almost two years ago with the same dream you had. and i share a lot of the your views. I appreciate the beauty of the islands and overall i feel the aloha spirit every day. But i learned early on that i am not welcome. Two weeks after i moved here, i was in the back of a Bus, standing because it was chock full. A local high school kid shoved me into the people that were seated right next to where i was standing and said, "i hate white people." i ignored her but it was my first experience of racism here in Hawaii although not the first in my lifetime.

Just this morning i got my backpack stolen at Kailua beach park. They got nothing but my clothes, a towel, sunglasses and a crappy cell phone.

My husband doesn't share my love of this place. He sees the crime and racism but doesn't see much past it. He feels we will never be welcome here. i hope he's wrong.

[beckorback]

So it's different yet the same. It's beautiful yet ugly. It's wet and it's dry. There's racism and brotherly love. Some people love it and others hate it. There's security and danger. Wealth and poverty. Racism and unity.

Yep, sounds like every other place in the world...except with poi.