Rent a gecko

[Jungjohann]

It really is one of the things I don't like about Maui, THE RAMPANT CANNIBALISM!!!!! I MEAN,,,,,,,,IT'S EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!! Just look around you, what do all the "local" people have, a barbecue, not a small one, and, on occaision, a big hole dug in their backyard, piled with kiawe wood and rocks!!!! I mean,,,,,,WHAT'S UP WITH THAT???????????? I tell you, it's truly frightening!!!!!!! Just go to Foodland, are the "locals" buying any pork, no, why not???????? BECAUSE HUMANS TASTE JUST LIKE PORK!!!!!!!!! HOW DO I KNOW??????? WENT TO A "LOCAL" BBQ, SURE ENOUGH, IT TASTED JUST LIKE PORK!!!!!!!!! You can't fool me, I've been here too long, like about two weeks, so, when it comes to Hawaii, I certainly know what I'm talking about. I don't actually mean that I've been IN Hawaii for two weeks, I just mean that I know people who are thinking about going there, for maybe two weeks, but they know people who know people who have heard of people who apparently know of people who have met people who have been to Maui, AND HAVE WITNESSED THE RAMPANT CANNIBALISM!!!!!!!!! So, if you're on Maui, and your next door neighbor, who happens to be "local", knocks at your door, bottle of A1 Steak Sauce in his hand, and invites you over for a barbecue, JUST DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!! TELL HIM YOU HAVE MAD COW DISEASE OR SOMETHING!!!!!!!!! These things have been known to happen!!!!!

Now, perhaps this site, which is a relocation site, can be allowed a little local humor section. What better reflects any area than it's sense of humor, and, after all my years here, well, two weeks at some point, what could be better...

Aloha

And, yes, sad to report, my recently kidnapped gecko, Momonanui, still hasn't been returned by the cockroach gang, even though I did leave an opened can of Spam on the lanai, as per their ransom demands. Perhaps I shouldn't have left Spam Lite?????

[nabs1004]

i moved into a 2nd flr studio in waikiki 2 weeks ago and found a roach in my unit every other day, dead or alive. i've placed the poison traps, take out trash everyday, don't leave food or crumbs unattended, etc, but they still visit me. and i am deathly afraid of cockroaches, i must say, it's pretty unhealthy, i can't even pick up a dead roach. i can deal with seeing them on the streets, even seeing one or two a year inside my home, but not every other day! i knew there was an issue with roaches in honolulu, but i didn't think that they'd just move in unannounced. it's to the point i'm losing sleep.. i leave all the lights on b/c apparently they don't like light since they're nocternal. sometimes, like today, i can't sleep at all until the sun comes up, paranoid that a roach will crawl onto the bed. yeah, it's that bad. i have to get over it, but it doesn't happen overnight, ya know?

So! i need to find a new place, move higher maybe? earlier in this thread, someone mentioned that one flew into their 7th flr unit. ok, so how's 10?20?30th flr?? i mean, noone can say for sure, but can anyone tell me in they're experience or from what they've heard what a safe minimum floor is? and does waikiki have it worst in oahu? which areas of oahu don't have the roach problem?

on a side note, i appreciate the humor on roaches in this thread, it's helping me to see the humor.. i can't wait to get over it.

gonna get some shut eye now.. so tired.. leaving the lights on

[GregW]

Do you people mean to tell me there are INSECTS on Maui. Oh, the HORROR!

[Jungjohann]

Yes Greg, there are insects on Maui. Big ones, small ones, fast ones, slow ones, flying ones, walking ones, talking ones,,,,,try wait,,,,,, dat was aftah to much okolehau an awa juice, so, nevah mind!!!! Muss admit tho, dat was one akamai cockaroach!!! I wen ask him, "Hey, Mi'ka Cockaroach, how you wen get all da way up to da 15th floor already???" He wen ansa, "Wen take da elebator wit Mi'ka Centipede", well, makes sense. Anyways, sitting in my condo, Nuuanu, 15th floor number of years back, and there's this LARGE centipede roaming around on the ceiling, I'm thinking, "That is one determined centipede", caught him, gave him the heave ho off the lanai, doubt if that bothered him, or her, (I mean, how do you tell???) Kind of funny, hardly ever saw any cockroaches at the place on Nuuanu, but my condo in Hawaii Kai, that I rented for about six months, was a completely different story. Not those big roaches either, but the really small ones that just seem to get into everything.. I've seen a new device advertised on TV that plugs into an AC outlet, and supposedly keeps roaches/mice away, wonder if it actually works??

Aloha

[kani-lehua]

don't forget the chocolate covered ones--as in roaches.

[TXLara]

I don't know if that pluggy-inny thing works (yes, that's a highly technical term), but I have a really great trick for those roaches. Get a phone book- the fatter the better- wrap it in newspaper, drop it on the roach from a good height, then jump on the phone book a few times for good measure. All you have to do next is scoop up the newspaper in a heap and toss it without even looking at the roach. If he's running too fast for you, a well aimed squirt of Off, hair spray, or starch will slow him down enough to fling the phone book at him. Then go to Long's and stock up on their roach traps- place them outside around your house, about every 2-3 ft. If you have a plumeria tree, keep the flowers picked up b/c I noticed they attract roaches like crazy. Cap your toothpaste. Double-bag anything that's not sealed in your pantry.

And if that doesn't work, you might have to see about importing some of those Maui cannibals I keep hearing about...hors dourves?

[Jungjohann]

Well, you know, that's brings up a very interesting quandry, what came first, the cannibal or the cockroach????? There are a very great number of opinions regarding this very subject, but,,,,,,, who's to know???????? Ineresting plot about the phone book demise of a cockroach, however, the Maui Phonebook probably isn't up to the job in some cases, and, for those folks on Molokai and Lanai, real pilikia, very small phone book, only good for bruiseing the little #####%%%%$$$, figure that out yourself, I'm self modding. Now, as far as the cannibals are concerned, VS the roaches, I think the Zombies may come into play here, as they seem to have a special knack for eating just about anything, gotta love em, just don't get too close,, (don't ask me how I know), to a zombie, when it's in hot pursuit of a cockroach, it can be distracted, and go after you. Best bet would be to just rent some Gekkos, from Mels of course, where else woud you go?????? Take em down to Mels Weightlifting and Pro Fitness Shop, have em do a few weeks on the heavy weights, and let em loose!!! Cockroaches won't stand a chance, zombies will be dropping like flies at your Tutu's 98th birthday party Luau, and the cannibals will definitely leave with a smile on their faces, well, it kind of looks like a smile, so I've been told,,,,,,,, enough humor already, lets get down to the ####4444%%%%%%%,,,,,,-----******(((((())))))#####!!!, and,

Best Christmas to everybody.

Oh, and as far as the pluggyish looking thingy that plugs into the wall, just use a 220 AC outlet, thats the one that runs your electric range, if you don't have access to that, then just go with "Brutus the Beast", climb up your nearby electric pole, splice into some 440 AC, gaurens, the cockroaches will make, as in die, like crazy, as far as your house goes??????? Well, never mind!!!!