Our move to Maui-info for those who are planning to move (Kailua: rent, mortgage)

[NOTAM]

i have lived in many small towns-small as population 500, and currently live in a town population 1000. there are plenty of folks who dont go to church. if you are different, in terms of culture, sure, there might be problems. most of the small towns i have lived in are very redneck country-folks who hunt, fish, ride fourwheelers, listen to country music, drive pickup trucks, drink beer, and are conservative republicans. we dont smile all the time, but are cordial.

Originally Posted by JuliaHuff

oh come on, bellestar, I lived in Texas, dont even get me started! not much better in terms of trying to fit in! unless you are in a big city, small texas towns-the same thing, if you are different, you wont fit in-you have to be christian, go to church, pray at dinner, smile all the time. I am russian, we dont smile all the time, i was sick of people making me smile! it felt completely fake. All small and isolated places are the same-it is very hard to it in, because everyone is the same

[Sunset_Va]

husband will have to stay here alone for some time, i will miss him like crazy, but i cannot give up my whole life-my job, my friends, everything.

Duh..........

[Ellwood]

Originally Posted by newUHprof

Look, we all get it OK? You're unhappy here. But here's the thing: None of us are trying to *convince* you that you should feel otherwise. Yet you feel compelled to convince us that we should all be unhappy here.


Why would I want to move here:

1. I'd rather swim (for free!) in the ocean than get a manicure any day. I've had exactly one manicure in my life, and it was a boring and unpleasant experience. So $45 manis or whatever don't bother me at all.

2. I'd rather be warm and in the sun and on the beach year-round, rather than bundled up and cold 5 months out of the year.

3. I'd rather live somewhere where the people are friendly and warm than someplace where you're crazy if you talk to a stranger on the subway.

4. There are (lots of) things a lot more important to me than money. If I'm making enough to pay my rent & buy my food, then I'm OK.

5. But even so, I understand how to budget and live pretty cheaply. I love shopping at farmers' markets. I go two or three times per week, and get almost all the food I need for cheap. They know me know, and toss extra stuff in my bag for free on each visit. I don't buy (or like) much prepared food. I rarely buy meat. When I do, it's expensive, but it's gooooood.

6. I'm actually spending less money here and saving more, because I don't drive nearly as much as I used to, and everything I really like to do is free or cheap. I don't have to go out to fancy restaurants just to have something to do... there's lots of outdoorsy stuff to do which is way more fun and cheaper.

7. I have a very good job here, which I love. I couldn't have quite this job anywhere else.

8. I don't need money to travel all the time. I'm already where I want to be. On weekends, I'll go on hikes or to the beach. My family comes to see me.

You have made excellent points and I agree with them all. I'm not sure she would be happy anyplace right now. It appears a large part of the problem is lack of her career choices in HI and the adjustment to being home. Another reason for her unhappiness sounds to me like her loss.

[JuliaHuff]

Pacific-As I mentioned before-my posit is for people who are PLANNING TO come here, to let them know how it is

Kaiser--why would you want to move here from Phoenix? Phoenix is so much better! it is way cheaper, you can actually afford an AC! it is not the same prices as AZ, forget about it, everything is more expensive, and it adds up fast, you will be amazed. And you can forget about AC! get used to sweat and heat. it is MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE then mainland. EVERYTHING. it is not only about food-everything is VERY expensive-lotion, shampoo, tampons, toilet paper, gas. it may seem insignificant, but it adds up so quickly, money just melts away, you dont know where it went, but it is all gone....and we live a very modest life-we shop only at costco and walmart, we dont eat out. all our money goes toward every day expenses, gas, electric bill, etc. You dont really have an option where to shop-there are not that many places. it is not like on mainland, when you have a selection of hundreds of stores to chose from.
you will spend A LOT on relocation, and then you will be stuck here.

[JuliaHuff]

Ellewood, it is not only about Career-it is everything else too-from what i see, local people here live very isolated lives, i look at my neighbourhood, most people are stuck in their houses, alone. living a very quiet and boring (to me) life. Our neighbours are a young white couple-they are at home all the time, mostly fighting with each other. To me, it feel like a waste of life, really. People here dont have much fun. We used to go to Puerto Rico a lot, to a small island called Culebra, it is very smal-population of 10,000. But boy those people know how to have a good time! they are so warm and welcoming-they are always together, having geatherings, parties, getting together in the evenings and dancing-having dance parties on the beach, at a small bar, on the streets. it is so warm and friendly over there. You feel immediately at home, no matter who you are. If they meet you on the beach, and you met before, they start dancing and cheering you on, huggin. Because they are very warm people. they are very poor, have nothing, but they have HUGE hearts.
And thats what i miss the most over here-I feel like I am in a coffin, life here is very dead-people keep to themselves, there is not much warmth or fun in the local life. It suits people who want to be isolated. Yeah, the beaches are beautiful, but is there any fun there, besides tourist areas? Not really, people are surfing, diving, etc, but i dont see anyone laughing, dancing, singing, having parties on the beach. i dont see anyone hugging each other or kissing. I mean, we still dont know any of our neihgbours-we meet them on the street, and they dont even smile, we tried saying hi and smiling-there is really no point. If i was in NY, or Puerto Rico, or Russia-i would know all my neighbours by now, and we would be hanging out. We never had problems meeting people-everywhere we lived, everywhere we went, we made friends fast, except for here. And if you ask me, I think people here become a little wiered from all this isolation. Yesterday there was a guy sitting in the field next to our house banging on a metal pole, for 3 hours, just sitting there and banging. Many people here are lonely, and they start doing strange things, thats what i feel. Like our neihgbours, who fight like crazy, every day. If they lived in NY, they would not have that much time on their hand to fight, they would find more fun things to do.

[JuliaHuff]

By the way, i dont think people here are friendly and warm-not at all. really not, they are nice to you, but keep their distance. thats not called WARM.
Warm is Spanish culutures, italian, american south, and even in NY I felt more warmth for that matter.
When i lived in texas, and met someone, people would hug and kiss me, and hold my hand-thats whats called warm, and would invite me constantly to do things with them, or to visit their home, or to go on a trip with them. I got there when i spoke no english, and still people wanted to spend time with me, and take me places.
If people here were friendly, why would so many newcomers go back to the mainland?

[has2dogs]

I plan to post helpful tips for moving to Hawaii for those who WANT to move, as soon as our move is complete in a couple of weeks.

Originally Posted by JuliaHuff

maui08-i kind of had no choice. my husband signed a two year contract with the hospital, signed a lease and paid a lot of money for hawaian licenses. it was too late to change. He got here a month ago, without me, and told me that everything was great, so i came.

It depends on what kind of person you are-if you love nature and beach, and being alone-this life is for you. if you are outgoing and career orinented, like me-not really.
my husband is happy here, he dives, he kyte surfs, he socializes at work. As for me-there is really nothing.

Freebird, as I stated in the beginning of my thread-this thread is not for people who are already here-they obviously like it, if they are still here. I am writing for people who are planning their move-so they would not repeat our mistakes. we did visit Maui before moving here-but you dont have the full picture until you move.
remember people from the mainland, hot weather gets old! it is hard to believe, but it does! you will be missing fall and cool weather, and cheap mainland prices, and you WILL feel locked up-it is a small island, you will see everything ten times in two months tops. it is not worth the cost of living and relocation-come visit as tourist. When we were here as tourists, we absolutely loved it! visiting has NOTHING to do with the reality of living here. thats why so many people move back.

Julia, please consider that there are others who do have a choice, and consciously decide to move to Hawaii, and it is not your place to tell them why they shouldn't. You said this is for those who are "planning their move" as if they need to be told how terrible it will be. For example, why do you insist that Arizona is "so much better," I lived there for four years and find the temperatures in Hawaii to be much more comfortable, and I love the ocean. The higher costs are something I am willing to deal with to have the ocean nearby. Perhaps you should have named this thread "info for those who are being forced to move and why you might hate it here if you didn't want to come in the first place." Why didn't you and your husband make the decision to move together? I would not be moving if my spouse and I didn't decide this together, and we are fully prepared for what it will take to make it there. It sounds like you have some personal issues you need to work out with your husband and it's no reason to take it out on the lovely state of Hawaii, its people, and their Aloha spirit.

I am very outgoing and career oriented, and contrary to what you say, I am confident that life will be fine. If anything my broad career experiences make Hawaii even more appealing, since I can appreciate the slower pace of things in contrast to the hectic life of a corporate executive. This move has been planned out very carefully. The pet quarantine laws were no big deal since we planned everything ahead and our two dogs are going straight home with us. We shopped for our home very carefully so there are constant tradewinds blowing through (except on Kona days, but still quite nice with the ceiling fans on) so I don't plan to sit around sweating all day. We've visited several times, shipped a car over, and stayed up to 3 months straight at various times of the year while working and living every day life so I don't expect any surprises and feel like we have a pretty good picture of what it will be like. [By the way Julia, if you are renting, perhaps you just need a change in location to a breezier location closer to what you like-we stayed in several areas, Wailea, Makena, Kaanapali, Waiehu, Ahuimanu, Waialae, Kailua, before choosing a place] We compared our food, housing and utility bills and they were pretty much a wash. Heat vs. no heat and rare AC, and not having to spend tons on plane tickets to get to Hawaii 6 times a year is going to save a ton. On the mainland, we tend to stock up on food for the week ahead and spend big chunks at a time. In Hawaii, we buy what we need at the farmer's markets in small quantities or based on the newspaper specials, and eating out (at the local non-fancy places) costs the same or less than buying the ingredients sometimes. And we eat what's on sale, there is no set routine of needing milk, eggs, cheese or bread, sometimes it's poke, rice, local tomatoes and asian greens, saimin, and fish instead, and for cheaper.
There's no guarantee that everyone "WILL feel locked up" some get island fever, others don't. I don't like road trips, so living in most cities in the mainland (I've lived in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Boston, Phoenix, New Jersey) is just as much an island as anywhere else since I prefer to fly to travel.

Originally Posted by JuliaHuff

"I feel like I am in a coffin, life here is very dead-people keep to themselves, there is not much warmth or fun in the local life. It suits people who want to be isolated. Yeah, the beaches are beautiful, but is there any fun there, besides tourist areas? Not really, people are surfing, diving, etc, but i dont see anyone laughing, dancing, singing, having parties on the beach. i dont see anyone hugging each other or kissing."

You give what you get. Whenever I am in Hawaii, I feel like my social schedule is so full because my friends know I'm only there for a few weeks visiting. Beach parties, barbecues, baby luaus, dinners out, pau hana cocktails. I can't wait to be there full time so I don't have to feel rushed to fit it all in. You need to reach out - or even just step out of your house, there are tons of community activities where you can be welcomed with open arms, but only if you are friendly back. I met people just by participating in activities, you meet people on a dive boat, in a yoga class, at the bike shop. People are the same everywhere. We are all human, the warmth you felt back in NY is out there, you just have to see it.
Happiness is a state of mind and not a geographical location. Good luck.

[Calico Salsa]

Oh Julia,
So far you've called people on Maui uncultured, unambitious, shoeless, uncombed, and an assortment of other judgments. You write that you are trying to be helpful to others who are considering moving here, but your method of doing so is really awfully rude.

Despite good efforts by the very restrained posters here, you don't seem to see that you are judging a place by YOUR idea of what is valuable and worthwhile, none of which were ones represented to being here at all (except maybe by your husband?) And you don't seem to inclined to find a way to phrase things as awful for you - they are always written as awful in general, for everyone.

Here it is, once again, as simply as I can think to say it:
The way you want to live does not exist here, but that doesn't make it bad, just bad for you.

And as far as hugging, gosh, I get hugged all the time, by people I meet for the first time. I can only guess that people are avoiding you because you are so unhappy and busy telling them what a crappy place they live in.

I've tried to be sympathetic to your situation, but now I'm kinda done.

[newUHprof]

Amen to has2dogs. Looking forward to your thread, and I'll happily contribute whatever wisdom I gleaned from my recent relocation. Where did you end up settling, after all the places you stayed?

[We're All Aliens]

She lost her baby, she feels alone, she wants to leave the place where she felt so much grief. She is probably suffering from depression after such an awful ordeal. There are many ways to view a place and she is viewing everything and everyone through her own sadness. Writing and venting is part of her healing/grieving process. She just wants to be heard and affirmed in this difficult time. Her experiences and views belong solely to her and in no way diminish any of your personal experiences on Maui.

This lady could really use a hug and some kindness right now.