Hawaii visiting -VS- Hawaii living

[NavyRet]

First of all I want to apologize to anyone taking offense to any of my observations. It was not my intent to trash any place and I was responding specifically to a claim that certain negative elements did not exist in paradise. Had someone made the claim they had never experienced any acts of kindness or hospitality in Hawaii, I probably would have responded in much the same manner, with an opposing perspective.

As I mentioned, we lived there from 86 to 89, so things probably were a lot different (what areas weren't different back then?). I will make every effort to chose my words more carefully when referencing my experiences from this point on. 808n310, thank for your insight and a different perspective other than the ones already shared. Your words were even-keeled and informative. At the time I was stationed there we encountered a number of experiences like this, but admittedly, times have changed throughout the world. There was a "Kill Haole Day" and if you do a Google search, you'll get over 4,000 hits referencing the term. Those same results however, yielded some articles reporting the practice was more of an 80's fad and seldom heard of since. I believe my misinterpretation of the word "haole" was because I don't remember it ever being used as a term of endearment, thus my confusion.

With that said, I feel I need to also share some positive elements experienced in Hawaii. I misstated when I said we were "darn glad to leave". Actually, we were darn glad to leave, but it had more to do with the military than any negative elements we encountered in Hawaii. I spent a lot of time away from my wife, so shore duty was a welcome change.

The majority of the Hawaiian people were very likable and friendly. We had many friends there and enjoyed the culture and traditions. There is a laid-back easiness about Hawaiian residents, which can be contagious and rightly so. It took several months after departing Hawaii to UNextend my thumb and little finger or quit saying "suk-em-up-brah" in restaurants.

Unfortunately, I never had the opportunity to visit any of the other islands because I was constantly deployed (it seemed) and we didn't have a whole lot of money. While on Oauhu though, we visited as many of the sections as we could. We climbed both Diamond Head and "the stairway to heaven" which I believe was located on some military radio facility. There was a Nature Trail we would hike and Chimney Falls? Hanama and Waimea Bay were stunning. We used to feed tropical fish frozen peas. I don't know why they like them, I don't even like them cooked. We toured all the sites available and I'll guarantee one thing, you'll very rarely have the opportunity to say, "There's nothing to do..." on Hawaii. There was ALWAYS something to do. Even go hang-gliding on the Northside. The Tiki Shopping Village downtown was so much fun.

Melanie, I'm sorry if my careless recollections caused you any grief. I suppose in a sense, it's a good thing this interaction took place. It illustrates how we as a society, have grown from quiet opinionated cultures to a more interactive one and can now have open-minded discussions where we can learn of our misconceptions, embrace diversity and respect each other not only in spite of our differences, but because of them. In the future, I will choose my words more carefully and think before I post. We may not be there yet, but as a society unified and tolerant, we're headed in the right direction.

I think I need to revisit Hawaii...both physically and psychologically.

Mahalo

[melaniej65]

NavyRet-
I do thank you for understanding what I was trying to impart and I AM truly glad that you did indeed find some things to like about Hawaii. Unfortunately, Military families are sent to many places that are simply not what they are used to and it does make it difficult if you find yourself in a place that just is not for you.

The eighties were a time of upheaval for Native Hawaiians with the Sovereignty push gaining momentum (just as my time in Germany was anti-American) and many people confused advocacy with violence (never a good thing to confuse).

Truly, the term haole is not negative (in and of itself) or I would never allow my family members to refer to my husband in such a way!

In any case I am happy that you have some pleasant memories of Hawaii; I only become upset when people insist that everyone and everything is one sided (in regards to any topic) since that is just not the way life unfolds.

I do hope that you are enjoying your Retirement, I made my husband find a job after only a couple of weeks of his terminal leave ( there was NO WAY our marriage wold have survived had he continued to shadow me around the house). Your Service to the Country is greatly appreciated and I know that your wife must be pleased to have you around more (but hopefully not shadowing her!). Melanie

[MCB0B]

Originally Posted by Boxcar Overkill

I think the economic strain that's a result of too many people moving in, and vacationers driving up land prices (while keeping wages low) contributes to the problem. (Although that's sort of obvious, I guess.) Of course, a lot of people feeling that strain just moved to Hawaii one generation ago, so they're probably part of the problem.

Just like I will be, if I move back

You have a point but the bigger issue, in my opinion, is the attitude of some new arrivals who come to Hawaii because of what Hawaii is but also miss certain aspects of "home" and want to bring them here. Instead of assimilating they're slowly turning Hawaii into the very places they left behind and changing the character of the place.

Look around the globe and you'll see problems anywhere that kind of thing is going on. It's unwecome everywhere.

[Boxcar Overkill]

Originally Posted by MCB0B

You have a point but the bigger issue, in my opinion, is the attitude of some new arrivals who come to Hawaii because of what Hawaii is but also miss certain aspects of "home" and want to bring them here. Instead of assimilating they're slowly turning Hawaii into the very places they left behind and changing the character of the place.

Look around the globe and you'll see problems anywhere that kind of thing is going on. It's unwecome everywhere.

Yeah, that's true. I guess it's sort of like those people who say that immigrants to the U.S. should learn to speak English. If you move to Hawaii, you should learn to speak Hawaiian, (in a metaphoical sense).

[MovingAloha]

Well, I've been following this whole thread with interest. I have lived in Hawaii (Oahu) off and on for over 10 years. I will be relocating back to Oahu in a month. I am black with a family and my, now grown sons all attended school on Oahu without incident. They can't wait for us to move back so they can visit frequently. I've found that white folks are often surprised by the "lack of specialness" when they arrive to live (everyone is treated special by the hospitality staff when you visit). We would laugh when people came up to us and asked how did we stand all the prejudice. My response would always be "what did someone say something?" I'm currently living in Austin, a great city, but Texas is no Hawaii - some of the folks here are genuinely wonderful, while others - well, ya know. There are ignorant folks no matter where you go and live. You really need to expect what you give. You don't have to say a word, your non-verbal communications can be picked up loud and clear. I love the whole feel and environment of Hawaii, it is my paradise, but may not be yours. Since I've lived there before, I know what to expect and I've saved my pennies (well a lot of dollars); we're ready. Mahalo and A hui hou !

[arteacher1]

Originally Posted by 808n310

Local people, in a lot of ways, are insesitive to race and ethnicity, in most cases this is a good thing. Asking, "what are you?" is the equivalent of asking something like, "what school did you go to?" etc....Hawaii is one of the few places that have tons of people who are genuinely interested in you and your background....they're trying to start a conversation or get to know you, take it as a compliment, and feel free to ask the question back , you might learn something new!

Great answer!

[nv2]

do you think they ask because they judge? i.e. japanese vs. tongan? punahou vs. public schools? There is a subtle racism that exists in HI. On the mainlain, you may seperate by general classes: white, black, asian, latino, native american. In HI, there is a seperation by type of asian. They don't care if you are polish, irish, italian ... you are just white. Just like on the mainland people don't care what type of asian, they just discriminate all asians as a group.