Giving Up Hawaii for $30,000 More (Honolulu: ski resorts, 2009, rent)

[KoaKine]

Ok Van
5 years ago I (my wife and 18 year old son) moved from So. Ca. to Western NY. I had never lived anywhere else my wife was from NJ all her family lives there. We moved for her career and she wanted to be closer to her Family not right next door but not a plane ride away. My buisness took a back seat because travel alot and the Cali economy well ill just say i wasnt trusting it back then. Now 5 years later we are looking at Hawaii for Her new job offer and us. My Co. has taken a big hit out here I do believe it will be at least better for me to do what i like to do in Hawaii people out here dont understands what i do. We have come to the conclusion that the cols sucks we love Hawaii been there 20 times at least I lost coun we will retire there this just gets us there with a job.
Now the the crux of what im saying (sry for the ramble) we all agree that Hawaii isnt the easist place to move to or live in but living back in the burbs of Boston is like the polar oppisite just as hard. If your wife has any aprehention about living there then rethink it. its cold it snows and you dont go outside I get cabin fever pretty bad and have to scedule a buisness trip for what ever i can just to see the sun ( i didnt this year and I am going nutz). My son didnt make the move so well it took him over 3 years to adjust we were worried about him Hes better now.
Im not saying that the move wasnt good for us My wife is at the top of her field now. (wouldnt be in Ca no opportunity to do that where she was)
My bus. would be almost non existent in Ca. and we would be broke.
The NY move was the best for us as hard as it was and it has been an adventure good and bad. the reality is if you love Hawaii ,weather people food. Boston again is polar opposite culture shock

Wow longest post for me yet i hope it isnt a trend
Sorry for the rant I hope this helps. DM me for more if you dare lol

[VanHa]

Originally Posted by KoaKine

Ok Van
Now the the crux of what im saying (sry for the ramble) we all agree that Hawaii isnt the easist place to move to or live in but living back in the burbs of Boston is like the polar oppisite just as hard. If your wife has any aprehention about living there then rethink it. its cold it snows and you dont go outside I get cabin fever pretty bad and have to scedule a buisness trip for what ever i can just to see the sun ( i didnt this year and I am going nutz). My son didnt make the move so well it took him over 3 years to adjust we were worried about him Hes better now.

My wife has great reservations, my boy is young enough (1 year old) so he is not the real issue. It would be hardest for my wife. The real trouble here, as I become more clear in my thinking ( and thank you every one for helping me here) is that I' am will feel guilty and selfish for putting my wife through this. Maybe that's is why I am having second thoughts about this!

[KoaKine]

Hey Van,
Your not wrong with your thoughts but as the provider you have to be selfish to a point. Ask your self is it wrong to want to provide more to your family?
No! But the move will be hard on all of you. I the long run will you be better off not just $$ but emotionally? As with your wife I dont know much or have forgotten more than i care to admit has she lived in that part of the country? Dose she have family or any friends somewhat close ? This will help if not then you all need to join a club bunko yikes!, bowling or the likes do this to meet new friends. also have an escape plan in place just like the one we warn the people that want to move to the islands. See if you can talk to the boss to out a clause in your move.

I hope this helps . It will take time to adjust in the 5 years ive been out here I still need to adjust culture shock ! If you really like Poi you can ship it I do. Its the pork we miss no imu pit.

[VanHa]

Thanks for the discussion. The offer is good until the end of this week, but we made the decision not to go.

[Kohala Coast tennis]

A $30,000 raise to move to a place I've already lived? No, because I've already experinced those places, and I already have fond memories. Move to a new, friendly place with new opportunites? Sure, why not? Hawaii is nice but cosidering all the factors that make a place ideal, for me Hawaii is a six out of ten. It's warm but there are plenty of down sides. While we are dreaming, I'm thinking Italy, Australia, Ireland, France, etc. Life is short!

[KonaKat]

Originally Posted by VanHa

My wife has great reservations, my boy is young enough (1 year old) so he is not the real issue. It would be hardest for my wife. The real trouble here, as I become more clear in my thinking ( and thank you every one for helping me here) is that I' am will feel guilty and selfish for putting my wife through this. Maybe that's is why I am having second thoughts about this!

Van, trust your gut. It doesn't lie.

[VanHa]

Originally Posted by KonaKat

Van, trust your gut. It doesn't lie.

It would break my heart to see her sad and lonely while I go off to work...I don't know...maybe I am foolish, but I think I have given it my best here.

[Lopaka]

My wife works in computer data base administration and would have easily made $30K more in her salary had we moved to the mainland. She was considering a move to the mainland West Coast, but I said No Way! Everything I have, like 95% of my family, including aunts, uncles, neices and nephews are here. Not to mention the hoards of friends that I fellowship with at least 1-2 times a week. You can take your money, but I ain't leaving what money can't buy.

No matter how many times I've seen them, I never get sick of rainbows! I went to a UH football game at the stadium last year and saw the most beautiful rainbow over the Halawa backdrop against a mixture of blue sky and grey clouds. I was awestruck and told my friends this is what tourist pay big bucks for, and I get this free year-round. Every time I go to the beach, I ask myself why I don't go more often.

[VanHa]

Originally Posted by Lopaka

My wife works in computer data base administration and would have easily made $30K more in her salary had we moved to the mainland. She was considering a move to the mainland West Coast, but I said No Way! Everything I have, like 95% of my family, including aunts, uncles, neices and nephews are here. Not to mention the hoards of friends that I fellowship with at least 1-2 times a week. You can take your money, but I ain't leaving what money can't buy.

No matter how many times I've seen them, I never get sick of rainbows! I went to a UH football game at the stadium last year and saw the most beautiful rainbow over the Halawa backdrop against a mixture of blue sky and grey clouds. I was awestruck and told my friends this is what tourist pay big bucks for, and I get this free year-round. Every time I go to the beach, I ask myself why I don't go more often.

Well said Lopaka! After all is said and done...you can't take it with you...bye the way my wife was so impressed with the decision to turn down the job offer that she has been making me my favorite meals on a daily basis! Now that's what I call living!

[canislupus]

VanHa:

This is a little funny, but by the end of May I am moving from the north Boston area to the Big Island. It's going to be a huge change for me, but I think I can assure you that in some regards, you made the right choice. I live north of Lynn, but I assure you, Lynn is not the place you'd want to live in. There are nicer communities around the area, but Lynn is not one of them. A plus would have been public transportation, but I would agree that people are hard to get to know here and I personally don't think an extra $30,000 would have gone that far if your wife doesn't work very much. It would have helped (someone made a comment about $0-$30K vs. $100-$130K and I would agree) but overall, if you'd made $30K more you could have lived other places than Lynn.

I love New England (but not particularly Massachusetts) and am trying myself to gauge how well I will adjust to the Big Island. I grew up rural, but it has been awhile since I've had to drive to work and make new friends. I am sure I can do it...but it is going to be hard. Money is my biggest concern - prices are high enough here that I hope I can make it happen there without too much sticker shock. Not to hijack this thread, but do you have an opinion on how much a single person with modest tastes needs to make to make ends meet?