Is There Really All This Haole Hate In Hawaii? (Hilo: transplants, apartments)

[bakerkeys]

As a military wife myself is there anything else you can share to a newcomer about Hawaii?

[cynmkolohe]

Aloha,

When I lived on Oahu I had the opportunity to be closely associated with a few military families and to enjoy the close-knit relationships many of them shared. I spent time of several of the bases (house-sitting once at Iroquois Point to care for a friend's dogs) and some time at Tripler Hospital when I was caring for a military doc's infant daughter (appointments took a while, but the staff was great). You have much in store for you as far as experiences and possibilities! Many people who move to Hawaii later in life move here because of previous visits through the military.

Be sure to take advantage of the beach cottages that only military families can access. There are a few choice places that you will be able to stay if you plan ahead.

Explore Bellows Beach: Bellows Beach Vacation Rentals, Hotels, Weather, Map and Attractions

(Having grown up in the small-town south myself, and depending on where you are from now, I think you might find a refreshing change of 'scenery' as far as the racial dynamic.)

One observation I made was that many of the wives tended to make friends with other military wives and get comfortable on base. Such a missed opportunity! Those tended to be the ones who were least satisfied with Hawaii postings. Some had been here for several years, but through their conversations it was easy to tell they had insulated themselves and had little knowledge of the island. You will probably find much more to love about HI if you make it a point to get involved in at least one thing totally un-associated with 'work'.

Best of luck to you!

[decafdave]

Is it easy for someone with European ancestry to fit in in Hawaii?
I have heard talk about racism directed against whites in particular-how true is this?

[tiffan28]

decafdave,

I just moved here and I'm glad I did a lot of research beforehand about the racial politics. I feel comfortable here because I'm mixed but I worry about my son who is very caucasian in appearance. Some people will smile and say "hi" and some will not. I haven't experienced or witnessed any serious hostility compared to the mainland. Kids will be kids anywhere you go, so you'll have the cliquish types and the friendly types. Not sure what your situation is - are you single? do you have a family? That will make a difference in how you experience life here. Another thing that makes a difference is the attitude you bring with you. My husband is Caucasian and he tends to have a negative attitude which works against him. He senses some unfriendliness and discomfort but no blatant racism. My son is too young to notice racial politics. I've seen all races here including African American but they and caucasians are the largest minority. I think no matter where in the world you are, you are going to have minorities who feel or sense discomfort for that reason. I also believe what goes around comes around and you get according to what you give. So, you have to give a lot to get a lot in return. Because of my race, most people have no clue what I am (people have guessed me to be white, hispanic, and hawaiian) so I'm interested in this topic.

[j1n]

Originally Posted by lawiii1

Don't be a kook. Give more than you take. Be respectful at all times.

very well put. good advice for anyone and everyone. you get what you give

[esaks]

I am a "local" person that grew up in Hawaii.

There definitely is racial tension when it comes to whites and locals but if you look at history you'll understand why. If you have kids it may be a concern because local kids tend to pick on the haole kids. There is that racial passive-aggressive attitude that a previous poster described. Don't be surprised if you experience it. But as she said, most local people will warm up to you if you are respectful. White people are the minority here so I guess they are sometimes treated like other minorities on the mainland which is unfortunate but shouldn't be a surprise. Take the time to learn about the culture and it will make the transition much easier and always be respectful of the people and traditions here.

Here are somethings that local people consider norm that may not be that way on the mainland.

When invited to anyone's home always ask what you can bring, if they say "nothing", ask again, if they still say nothing, bring a dessert. (this custom comes from the Japanese High context society where many things are implied rather than said verbally)

Always take off your shoes or sandals before entering anyones home.

Learn to eat with chopsticks, many food places provide it as your main utensil. Try not to ask for forks if its not provided.

If anyone gives you any kind of gift, they are expecting a thank you card. Verbal thank you is not enough.

If you stay at a local person's home, take a shower at night. It's considered dirty to shower in the mornings.

In traffic always wave if someone lets you cut in.

If you go out to dinner with local people, it is considered rude to not make an offer to pay for the check or at least ask how much your share was. If a member of the party pays for it, take out money and try to give it to them. They will most likely say "No need" and then you thank them for dinner.

When a girl has a flower in her ear, look to which side it is in, Left side means taken, right side means single.

[subwife87]

Originally Posted by bakerkeys

As a military wife myself is there anything else you can share to a newcomer about Hawaii?

1. Enjoy yourself while you are there. Even if you find that Hawaii isn't somewhere you'd want to stay or you miss the mainland, take it in stride as you would do any other duty station and just enjoy life while you can and know it's temporary.

2. Just respect the local people and the island. The more you show them that you want to be there, want to learn about their culture and what they have to offer the more accepted you will be. Treat others the way you'd want to be treated.

While Hawaii is part of the US, it's a very new part of the US. If you take some time to learn about their history you'll see Hawaii in a much different light and probably appreciate it more. They are the only US state that had royalty and they still today pride themselves up on that. Some feel the were cheated or that Hawaii was "stolen" from them and if you dig into their history you'll understand why they feel that way whether or not you agree with it.

It's kind of like moving to another country although they do speak english and use american money It's a big cultural experience. Embrace it.

[PureHapa]

Some feel the were cheated or that Hawaii was "stolen" from them and if you dig into their history you'll understand why they feel that way whether or not you agree with it.

The subtle or not-so-subtle racism towards whites comes from many people who are not native Hawaiians. It comes from those of Japanese and Chinese descent too. So the "they took it from us" argument only goes so far.

The color of your skin is definitely a factor. So you can be a hapa-haole mainlander like me and fit right in, and be a whiter-than-white Hawaii-born guy and get grief. That's just racism, no matter how you cut it.

I'm an army-brat half-Asian woman, and have lived all over the world. To the guy with the Taiwanese wife and hapa kid - I lived in Taiwan for a couple years as a kid. Soooo hot and humid! LOL. Even though I'm half-Asian, I still got stared at all the time. You do get used it.

Anyone who wants to move there, just go for it. My only worry would be for white children getting grief in school.

[Lambert]

Do unto others...

I don't think there is an anti Haole campaign. The people here are great. Just like everywhere there are people who are ignorant. Just hang loose. It's the people who come from the mainland and try to implement the mainland ways that have a hard time adjusting and end up packing it up and heading back to wherever they came from. You have been here, appreciate how wonderful it is and don't want to come here and change the world ... it will feel just like home to you, I am sure.

[Lambert]

My son gets no grief, but he is only in first grade. I hope that never changes for him. He has red hair and freckles. Everyone treats him like their own, he calls everyone Aunty and Uncle, we feel blessed.