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Old 12-09-2010, 08:11 PM
 
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A friend of mine was emitted to the hospital after collapsing. He's unconscious at the moment so his wife is calling the shots. From what I've been told she decides who can visit him during this time. She denied visitation from grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.. Apparently this is the law set by whom? Is this a state or federal order? Just found it very unpleasant considering the man is very close to his family. Any links or more info about this would be great. Thanks.

 
Old 12-09-2010, 09:55 PM
 
29,988 posts, read 35,855,551 times
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If his wife has legal power of attorney ( or medical) then yes, she sets the rules, especially if he is in intensive care. If she does not care for his family this may be one jab she is doing in order to get back at them and show who is boss. It stinks but it is legal.

I had an evil stepmonster who would not allow me to see my father following his lung cancer surgery. She instructed the nurses that they were not even allowed to tell me of his condition. It was aweful as he was very critical. She had his power of attorney; so, legally there was nothing I could do about it. I spoke with chaplin services at the hospital and they visisted with my father's nurses and then would share with me just scant information like: stable, fair, etc... . It wasn't much but it was better than no knowing anything.

If you are not a family member this may not be a battle you want to pick. Send cards to let him know you are thinking of him and perhaps she will be less strick after he is conscious again. You never know, your friend may have had this discussion with his wife and she may be following his wishes.
 
Old 12-10-2010, 11:06 AM
 
Location: In the real world!
2,178 posts, read 8,222,930 times
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Same thing with my son.. His wife called all the shots. He was in an explosion at work and was in a drug induced coma for awhile, then they had him on some powerful drugs when they let him come out of the coma. To many people were asking him questions about what happened and he was just agreeable with whatever they said so his wife stopped ALL visitors except for immediate family. He had no idea what had happened, he thought their house had caught on fire and he didn't make it out at one point and nobody understood all the heavy duty drugs he was on because he was "awake".. At one point he thought I was his grandmother instead of his Mom, yet someone from the 'company" would come in and ask him some detail about what happened and did he do this or that and he would say "yea".. He didn't then nor ever has remembered what happened that day.. so to protect HIM, she had to stop all visitors unless escorted by her or me.

We did walk into his room one time to find 2 complete strangers over his bed, whispering to him and his wife drug them out of his room raising the roof, pointing at the sign on the door and they said they asked the nurse and the nurse said they could go in, she asked them which nurse and when she got done with that nurse.. NOBODY was allowed in his room again...

Those 2 we caught in there whispering to him was a co worker and his preacher and they were praying over him but we did not know that at the time we walked in.

Seriously though, if a person is extremely ill, they do not need a room full of people parading in and out all day long.I think it is best to send a card or flowers if they are really ill. Or go by, see the family and tell them to let that person know you came by to check on them.
 
Old 12-10-2010, 09:20 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,668 posts, read 71,556,197 times
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Most hospitals are pretty easy to walk around in. You are unlikely to be challenged in the corridors if you look like you know where you are going. Dress like a social worker or something, and carry a clipboard or manila file folder.. If you can find out his room number, just go in and see him. If anyone on the hospital staff tells you you have to leave, then you have to leave---they've got legal power---but it is never against the law to just walk around in a hospital. If you are not challenged, just go where you please.

If you use the elevators, you usually need to go past a nurses station to get to patient rooms, so learn where the stairwells are. If it's a smallish hospital, there are usually only patients on a couple of floors, walk the corridors during visiting hours, when you're less conspicuous, looking for his name on a door.

If he's unconscious, there is no point in going in to see him, but when he wakes up, take him a pizza in the middle of the night, he'll appreciate it. Rules are to guide the wise and command the foolish.

Last edited by jtur88; 12-10-2010 at 09:31 PM..
 
Old 12-11-2010, 06:43 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,701 posts, read 3,994,102 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
but when he wakes up, take him a pizza in the middle of the night, he'll appreciate it. Rules are to guide the wise and command the foolish.
That pizza will be great! Especially if he awakens from a diabetic coma or doesn't yet have the ability to swallow properly. Works for me!

Seriously, I'm surprised there are questions regarding the spouse's authority to set the rules. I mean, the Terry Schiavo case wasn't that long ago, was it? If there is no legal document stating otherwise, the spouse automatically assumes the legal authority to make medical decisions on behalf of his or her spouse. This would include restricting visitation.
 
Old 12-11-2010, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,668 posts, read 71,556,197 times
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I think we have gone a little bit too far in our Privacy Laws. I can see where information can reasonably be restricted where it would violate doctor/patient privilege. But a hospital is a public institution, and if a patient or his family feels a need to conceal his very presence in the hospital, he should be required to at least show cause for that degree of secrecy.

Our handlers seem to be way overshooting on some aspects of personal privacy, and way undershooting on others. I'll bet the NSA knows exactly who is in every hospital bed in the USA, and could print out his chart, but I can't even find out if my own friends are there, until it turns up on Wikileaks.
 
Old 12-11-2010, 12:04 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,634 posts, read 53,495,108 times
Reputation: 18543
Many hospitals are private institutions, you must not have one in your area, but there are at least 5 hospitals in my area and none are public, i.e., owned by the city/county. They are all owned by corporations.

Last edited by SouthernBelleInUtah; 12-11-2010 at 05:00 PM..
 
Old 12-11-2010, 01:05 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,668 posts, read 71,556,197 times
Reputation: 35864
Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernBelleInUtah View Post
Many hospitals are private institutions, you must not have one in your area, but there are at least 5 hospitals in my area and none are public, i.e., owned by the city/county. They are all owned by corporations.
Even hospitals under private ownership are publicly accessible buildings in which people are free to enter and move about on legitimate or even casual business. In the same sense that a shopping mall or a private university is classified as a public building in terms of its obligation to recognize the civil rights of all who enter, and not restrain, without due cause, a person from coming in and moving about. By law, it is a public accommodation.

Whether a hospital or public or private does not, by itself, to any meaningful degree, alter the presumption of public accessibility to the building and its facilities.

Last edited by SouthernBelleInUtah; 12-11-2010 at 05:00 PM..
 
Old 12-11-2010, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,634 posts, read 53,495,108 times
Reputation: 18543
I disagree with it is 'legitimate business" to visit someone who's family member has declared "no visitors."
 
Old 12-11-2010, 09:07 PM
 
9,454 posts, read 15,020,411 times
Reputation: 15409
Just gripes me that hospitals can restrict your visitors, but you can have dozens of medical students cram into your room like some sort of freak show.

What if I THE PATIENT says visitors, yes, medical students, no?

I never could understand you have to have a certain relationship to visit, so no gay couples, no divorced couples, etc.

If a gay guy wants his partner to come visit, why should it bother anyone? Strange world!
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