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Old 11-18-2011, 08:09 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
21,483 posts, read 26,089,700 times
Reputation: 26435

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ino View Post
I don't mean to sound negative cos you don't need any more of that, but there is NOBODY and NO facility or organisation who will care for anyone more than immediate family, as well meaning and intentioned as those organisations and facilities may be, but that choice will be removed - sooner than anyone wishes and is prepared for.

To me it's the final indignity, from being a productive member of the human race and family man, to being removed from my home, relegated to eating whatever muck those homes dish up and call 'food', not sleeping in my own comfortable bed, not being in my life long familiar surroundings, not being able to care for myself etc etc, but at the end of the day I, and my family, will have NIL choice in the matter should anything of this nature befall on me.

The only consolation I will have is that...I won't be in any mental state to pay much attention, and THAT will be a blessing in disguise I guess.

I wish you well, as I'd say everyone else who has spoken here does.
It would be ideal if all of us had the extended family to allow us to live in our own homes until the final breath.

But it is not fair to expect our children to give up their own lives to make that possible.

Care needs to be taken in choosing a nursing home, of course. Your physician will know the good ones and the ones to avoid.

Your state may have information available that tells how the home ranks in terms of quality of care.

Multiple visits at various times of the day and night are a good idea.

Get an overall impression of the physical plant. Is it clean and well maintained?

Ask the nursing staff and aides how long they have worked there. If they work there for long times, they are happy and probably enjoy their jobs. That translates to better care.

Visit on a weekend, when more family membrs may be there. Get their impressions.

Talk with the residents. Not all of them will be there because of dementia. Ask about the food and activities.

Unless a resident is on a special diet, home cooked food can usually be brought in.

A good place to start:

http://www.medicare.gov/publications/pubs/pdf/02174.pdf
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Old 11-19-2011, 08:53 AM
 
575 posts, read 848,634 times
Reputation: 443
Thanks again Suzy. I am going to pass this on to my father.

You are right. Not all families have the time or income to keep their parent's at home forever. It would cost my Dad a fortune to have 24 hr care at home and being 91, you never know how long the money will be there for the both of you. My sister works for herself and lives in a two bedroom condo with one room as the office. We have a very small family and only two that are over 30 and under 65. This is the realities of life. By the time I am an elderly woman, god willing, most of my relatives will be gone and there will just be my son. I would never want to ruin my son's life by having him tied down to my care. Did we have children for this purpose? I didn't.
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Old 11-19-2011, 06:16 PM
 
575 posts, read 848,634 times
Reputation: 443
I'm trying to research the best protection especially at night, for bladder and defecation issues. My Dad doesn't have a computer so I'm trying to find reviews for the best adult diapers and pads to prevent leakage and uncomfortable wetness for my Mom. Apparently she has been suffering from incontinence for some time now but it wasn't until this week that the other end is uncontrollable. Any suggestions for night time protection?
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Old 11-19-2011, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
21,483 posts, read 26,089,700 times
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I do not have any experience with the brands. You might try calling some nursing homes and see what they use.
They may just use the least expensive, but they should know if any are more prone to leak or cause skin irritation.
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Old 11-19-2011, 06:39 PM
 
575 posts, read 848,634 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy_q2010 View Post
I do not have any experience with the brands. You might try calling some nursing homes and see what they use.
They may just use the least expensive, but they should know if any are more prone to leak or cause skin irritation.
The brand that Medicare or Medicaid covers are the cheapest brand and ill fitting. I use to work at a DME business and diapers where a daily issue with insurance companies, especially Medicare. So horrible the way people are treated by Medicare just for diapers.
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Old 11-19-2011, 06:53 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
21,483 posts, read 26,089,700 times
Reputation: 26435
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbekity View Post
The brand that Medicare or Medicaid covers are the cheapest brand and ill fitting. I use to work at a DME business and diapers where a daily issue with insurance companies, especially Medicare. So horrible the way people are treated by Medicare just for diapers.
Maybe do a Google search and see if you can find a comparison. Consumer Reports maybe?

Look for coupons and try a few different brands!

Home health agencies might know what their clients use.5,

I would look but I am using my son's tablet computer and the battery is about to
go.
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Old 11-19-2011, 07:22 PM
 
575 posts, read 848,634 times
Reputation: 443
You're a sweetheart Suzi.
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Old 11-19-2011, 10:18 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
21,483 posts, read 26,089,700 times
Reputation: 26435
Thank you!

Found this:

Adult Diaper Review and Testing

You might see if you can get samples of a few to try, or just buy several small boxes of a few.

Your Mom's caregiver may have suggestions, too. There may be some that she finds easier to use.
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Old 11-20-2011, 06:13 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,457 posts, read 16,408,211 times
Reputation: 13154
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbekity View Post
You're a sweetheart Suzi.
I agree.
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Old 11-20-2011, 08:10 PM
 
575 posts, read 848,634 times
Reputation: 443
Sorry to sound like a record here, but how is it possible for someone to change so dramatically in a matter of days? Last week it was very hard trying to hold a conversation with my Mom but there were moments of clarity. Last night was another story. I called just to say I love you and she said she loved me too and that was the end of anything sane. A lot of paranoia about the government watching, can't trust anyone, trains........just crazy talk. I reminded her about my coming out in two weeks and she asked where I was going. I reminded her that her sister was coming to see her today and she asked if she was coming to my house and not to trust what "he" says. Today she spoke to my sister but as a stranger talking about her. She had what there is of our family over today and there wasn't any connection. The time has come for my Dad to make a decision whether to stay at home and have 24 hr care (not from a nurse) or in the proper facility where she can be treated and cared for properly with Dr.s and Nurses available. She fell last night and she was very wobbly trying to get up today. The caregiver my Mom has has for the last few months may turn into 24 hr care which means when I was suppose to arrive for my visit, the caregiver and her 25 year old mentally challenged daughter would have my room...the only free room. That is if she isn't in a facility instead. I just feel like putting my visit on hold until there are further developments?
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