Serious thread topic: "Sharting" (diet pills, effects, Walmart, cause)

[AZgarden]

Might be good to keep extra underwear (in a secret place of course) if you are still working !!!

[purehuman]

Originally Posted by OptimusPrime69

For those of u that have sharted themselves before, does this mean there is an underlying reason for the accident??

I sharted myself today at work and had to leave early. I went to the bathroom and after I discovered what I had done. I did not have the courage to go back into the office and ask to go home, rather I left the building and called myoffice and said an emergency had caused me to leave the building. .

What do u think is wrong with me?

I thought it was an innocent passing of gas...next thing u know. I crapped myself.... do I have colon cancer or something? ugh?

Ha, Ha, Ha...Sorry...but it IS funny.....you don't have cancer....you just need to decipher the difference between a sh*t and a fart...you'll learn.

[Jenniferajr5]

I have ruined many, many pairs of panties because I didn't keep up with my period dates. Because of this, I now carry a spare pair of them in my purse and van. It's not a bad idea for men to carry a spare pair, either. Just keep them in the glovebox of your car, or in your backpack/briefcase.

[Jenniferajr5]

I just re-read what I wrote.
I meant to say carry around a spare pair of underwear if you are a man.
Unless wearing panties is your thing, of course. I don't judge.

[Drover]

[Mr.Bungle]

I think it was in the movie The Bucket List where Jack Nicholson says, "Never trust a fart" or something along those lines.

[James420]

You have to be careful where you shart, jokes or not. These dudes on Jacka$$ basically crop dusting and beef stewing each other can cause serious problems like pink eye. Look it up if you don't believe me. If someone is sick and farts in your face bare a$$ed you will get pink eye from the farticles. I don't even fart in the shower anymore because of the moisture and heat lingering in the air.

[Huckleberry3911948]

a few times not to worry.
we tend to minimize our emotional state.
we like to say its not that bad, when its not that true that its not that bad.

[jimboburnsy]

Originally Posted by OptimusPrime69

For those of u that have sharted themselves before, does this mean there is an underlying reason for the accident??

I sharted myself today at work and had to leave early. I went to the bathroom and after I discovered what I had done. I did not have the courage to go back into the office and ask to go home, rather I left the building and called myoffice and said an emergency had caused me to leave the building. .

What do u think is wrong with me?

I thought it was an innocent passing of gas...next thing u know. I crapped myself.... do I have colon cancer or something? ugh?

First, let me just say that I can't stop laughing at your misfortune...

Second: I had a 30 minute commute to work when I was in my early twenties. One morning, about 3/4 of the way into my commute - I felt an urgency that I believed was just gas but, for whatever reason, I did not have 100% confidence in the true identity of the urgency due to an order of jalapeno poppers that I had consumed the night before. I attempted to regulate the flow of gas with pelvic angle and "fine motor" (but, as we all realize, that sphincter is essentially an all-or-nothing valve so attempting fine control is generally a fool's errand). If you've ever worked in forestry you know that a controlled burn can turn to crap very quickly; the same is true of a controlled fart. I gambled and lost big time. I had to pull off the road to gather my wits and assess the situation. "Do I have wet wipes? No. Do I have replacement underwear? No. Do I need replacement pants? Yes." I got out of the car and waddled about fifty yards into a stand of pines on one side of the road for some privacy before stripping to the skin beneath the waist. I folded my underwear to get a clean side and used them as makeshift t.p., then left them under some pine needles - good riddance. I used a pine cone to clean up the seat of my pants to the best of my ability and then put them back on - a spot of cold poop on your cheek is a decidedly unpleasant sensation. I returned to the car and laid a floormat over the seat for protection and called in sick before returning to my apartment to sulk.

I know exactly what you're feeling. I think you're very smart to just leave the office. Never let anyone see you with poopy drawers.

If you're a younger guy I doubt that you have much reason to worry - that's probably an isolated incident and related to diet/alcohol consumption.

[Just1Lion]

this has occasionally happended to me. usually the day after a night of heavy drinking. cheap beer can really tear up your insides. once it happened to me when i was stuck in traffic in the lincoln tunnel. i had a car full of friends too. really embarassing.