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Old 12-20-2011, 09:22 PM
127 posts, read 171,038 times
Reputation: 140


One thing that has always puzzled me was how women, even with their motherly instincts, strong social/support networks, intuition, ability to make a stranger into close friend in a short amount of time, sensitivity, lack of excessive pressure to "succeed", etc... could get ever get depressed. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration but, I feel that if I were to have all those things, then I'd be able to see life in a much more optimistic light.

It's well-known that, once maturity/adulthood has been reached, women continue to be "herd" creatures - meaning that they group well together, bond, vibe, find it easy to relate to each other, etc. When a man reaches adulthood, you see this across the animal kingdom as well, they often suffer from aloneness. Sure, a man can "go out there", "meet new people", etc, but it just doesn't get anywhere near the closeness and companionship that women are able to share with each other.

Another thing I noticed is that when women talk, they usually end up getting to know each other better, building an affinity for the other. I remember even up to my high school days that this is what male-to-male interactions were like, but as I get older it seems that men are much more shallow in their friendships with each other, much more closed-up, and mainly seem to talk to each other only when there is some underlying occasion for them to meet up.

It also just seems that things in nature (or nurture, whichever you want to attribute it to) generally tend to procure a healthier mindset in women than in men. According to David Deida, author of the spiritual book "The Way of the Superior Man", women derive most of their happiness from friendship, love, and bonding. On the other hand, men derive a lot from success, competition, and purpose, but as we all know in (most) cases, for every winner there's got to be a loser, while if what's said of women is true, how can it not be win-win for them (takes two to make a bond)? Maybe it's just me, but I think a lot of men would lead happier lives if they, like women, could be more focused on "bonding", "relating", "friendship" (aka even with some bumps in the road, how is this not an easier path? It sounds almost like hedonism if you ask me!)

What frustrates me is the general difference in attitude I see around me on my campus - girls like to get together, go out and get seen, etc. But a large portion of the guys just lock themselves up alone in their dorms even on Friday nights, playing League of Legends or some other kind of video game. Although a lot of men are not like this, you will rarely find this kind of isolative behavior in the female sex.

If anyone were to ask me why I think this century is the "era of women", it would be precisely that a lot of men seem like they could care less or just do much worse on self- and social-awareness. It seems to me that women have much healthier mindsets (in general), and if you look at social structures, women look after newcomer women much better than men look after newcomer men to a clique/group/culture. Statistics also show that men have a much harder time living alone as the result of a divorce than women. It's not really that difficult to figure out why, but with the divorce rate so high in modern times, shouldn't it be of worry that this is a major potential for decline in the mental and emotional health for a lot of men?

Maybe this is really just pointing out only the best positive things of the female sex, but I can't seem to understand how women who go along with these traits could ever feel depressed for long, or even lonely. It just seems that a lot of these things in life are set up for them, and all they need to do is make sure they make the push from time to time (while things unfortunately don't seem set up this way for men, for the reasons described above). And I fail to grasp why a lot of men don't fully understand or appreciate, intuitively, the importance of having fellowship, and instead of trying to get into things that will help them "stand out" from the crowd or pursue some vain attempt to be considered "unique", why males don't try to procure a greater sense of empathy and relatability to each other, and pursue more friendships on a personal level.

Last edited by aspiring_natural; 12-20-2011 at 10:32 PM..
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Old 12-20-2011, 09:42 PM
127 posts, read 171,038 times
Reputation: 140
Or perhaps I'm just somewhat brooding over something that can't really be changed, and am better off just accepting it and thinking about something else.....
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Old 12-20-2011, 10:05 PM
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
2,190 posts, read 5,730,237 times
Reputation: 2035
It's great that you value women in the way that you do.
Assuming that you're a heterosexual man, some woman is going to snatch (omg, i did it again ) you right up and you'll probably be a great partner / husband.
And, if you're gay ... same.
Hey, don't you think this thread is better suited to the relationship forum?
I bet you'll get more interest and responses.
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