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Old 05-20-2012, 09:54 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,022 posts, read 16,947,806 times
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We are all going to die. You might think about working on acceptance of that fact in your mother's case. While I don't know what your mother's quality of life was before her fall, by the time most people are 90 there is not much of that left. Therefore, it may be O.K. that she feels "ready to go". Who could blame her? There are obvious and severe family problems if your siblings are not sharing information with you. Those sorts of things are often not fixable.
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Old 05-26-2012, 09:52 PM
 
Location: Cartersville, GA
1,253 posts, read 2,858,563 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles View Post
She needs a 24/7 caretaker, no stairs obviously.
What kind of infections?
Needs antidepressants.
Needs a complete workup by a board certified internist and cardiologist and (geriatric) psychiatrist.
I don't see where the OP mentioned Depression. Antidepresssants shuould not be considered unless/until she is diagnosed with Depression.

If you inferred depression from the fact that she states that she is "...ready to go," consider the fact that many people her age feel content this way, and not because of depression.
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Old 05-28-2012, 09:17 PM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
5,843 posts, read 8,429,491 times
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Old old nurse here. Most of these elderly patients die from something respiratory, like pneumonia. She needs to be up out of bed as soon as the doc says ok. She needs to do coughing and deep breathing. She can survive this with the help of you and God. Laying around in bed is the worst for the elderly.
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Old 05-28-2012, 09:40 PM
 
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Hopefully she didn't damage the arteries around the femoral head during the fracture. If so, there is a higher risk that the femoral head will undergo necrosis and cause more complications. Good luck with your mom.
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Old 05-29-2012, 09:55 AM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 34,623,814 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mistygrl092 View Post
Or any other informed person?

My Mom who is 90 plus has fractured two pelvis bones and her tailbone (which I read is rare). All I can find is that it's serious and the mortality rate at one year is 27%.

Is there anything I can do to make sure she does not become one of the 27%? She does have other health issues - to include asthma, diabetes and high blood pressure. She also had some sort of leg infection in both legs prior to this for which her GP had her on antibiotics.

I'm trying not to become too alarmed, but I can't help it, especially since she has said "she's ready to go."

I live out of state so it's not like I can spend much time with her. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.
Your mother has asthma, diabetes, high blood pressure, infections in both legs, and broken bones in her pelvis and coccyx. If she were in her 40's, her doctor would probably tell her that she needs to heal from the broken bones and then spend the next 10 years straightening out her diet, getting exercise, and filtering the air in her home. And if she did all that, she'd probably live to be 90.

Except, your mother is -already- 90, and has already stated that she's "ready to go". I think at this point the best thing you can do, the most responsible and loving thing you can do, is MAKE the time to be with her, and see to it that she's comfortable.

What would you expect the results to be, should she heal from the broken bones? I mean, a 90-year-old woman suffering from diabetes, leg infections, high blood pressure, and asthma.

My grandmother died when she was 93 (or 96, no one's really sure). The last couple of years in her life she had blood transfusions, enough meds that just the meds alone would fill her stomach, was taken -off- all salt, had ALL laxatives eliminated (she was addicted), had morphine patches applied to her back every 6-8 hours, had a nurse in her home for 10 hours a day, family in her home the rest of the day, and had to have someone help her bathe because she could no longer step over the rim of the tub to bathe herself.

She was *miserable* when she died. She suffered horribly. If I had known she was addicted to laxatives and salt, I would've told the doctors to sod off, and let her organs shut down *her* way instead of *their* say. Death was inevitable for her, nothing was going to stop it. But the doctors were so intent on delaying death, that they ignored the quality of her life. So she lived a few years longer and they pat themselves on the back and applauded themselves for doing "the best they could."

What they should've done, was told her to go home, take pain meds, continue to eat, or not eat, however she saw fit, and bring her family to be with her so she could enjoy her last days surrounded by love.
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Old 05-29-2012, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
5,843 posts, read 8,429,491 times
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Default Bad Advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick View Post
Your mother has asthma, diabetes, high blood pressure, infections in both legs, and broken bones in her pelvis and coccyx. If she were in her 40's, her doctor would probably tell her that she needs to heal from the broken bones and then spend the next 10 years straightening out her diet, getting exercise, and filtering the air in her home. And if she did all that, she'd probably live to be 90.

Except, your mother is -already- 90, and has already stated that she's "ready to go". I think at this point the best thing you can do, the most responsible and loving thing you can do, is MAKE the time to be with her, and see to it that she's comfortable.

What would you expect the results to be, should she heal from the broken bones? I mean, a 90-year-old woman suffering from diabetes, leg infections, high blood pressure, and asthma.

My grandmother died when she was 93 (or 96, no one's really sure). The last couple of years in her life she had blood transfusions, enough meds that just the meds alone would fill her stomach, was taken -off- all salt, had ALL laxatives eliminated (she was addicted), had morphine patches applied to her back every 6-8 hours, had a nurse in her home for 10 hours a day, family in her home the rest of the day, and had to have someone help her bathe because she could no longer step over the rim of the tub to bathe herself.

She was *miserable* when she died. She suffered horribly. If I had known she was addicted to laxatives and salt, I would've told the doctors to sod off, and let her organs shut down *her* way instead of *their* say. Death was inevitable for her, nothing was going to stop it. But the doctors were so intent on delaying death, that they ignored the quality of her life. So she lived a few years longer and they pat themselves on the back and applauded themselves for doing "the best they could."

What they should've done, was told her to go home, take pain meds, continue to eat, or not eat, however she saw fit, and bring her family to be with her so she could enjoy her last days surrounded by love.
Sorry but I think this is very bad advice. Diabetes, blood pressure, asthma and infections can all be controlled with meds. A good doc knows how to do this. You cannot tell a person its her time to "go" and just have her go home to die. What the ??? You don't have any control over this. I have seen many elderly go on to long lives, even with these conditions, which, if controlled with the proper meds, are not that serious. Please stop this grim reaper stuff. Get the proper care for your mom and let her heal. Yes, we all die, but it may not be her time. Its not our decision to judge this. PS My mom is 102 and still in good health.
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Old 05-30-2012, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Cartersville, GA
1,253 posts, read 2,858,563 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb View Post
<snip>...You cannot tell a person its her time to "go" and just have her go home to die... <snip>
No one is telling her "it's her time to 'go.'" Her mother is the one saying that.
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Old 05-30-2012, 07:21 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 34,623,814 times
Reputation: 20198
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb View Post
Sorry but I think this is very bad advice. Diabetes, blood pressure, asthma and infections can all be controlled with meds. A good doc knows how to do this. You cannot tell a person its her time to "go" and just have her go home to die. What the ??? You don't have any control over this. I have seen many elderly go on to long lives, even with these conditions, which, if controlled with the proper meds, are not that serious. Please stop this grim reaper stuff. Get the proper care for your mom and let her heal. Yes, we all die, but it may not be her time. Its not our decision to judge this. PS My mom is 102 and still in good health.
If you read the OP, you'll see that the mother is 90+. She also has leg infections. She also has diabetes. She also has broken bones. She also has told her daughter that she WANTS to go. She's told her daughter that she's done living. At this point, anything done to intentionally delay death, will be a punishment to her. It will cause her to spend that extended life suffering.

It will take her MONTHS to heal those bones. During those months, she'll have her diet severely restricted, she will not be -capable- of getting exercise, she'll have insulin injections stuck into her skin by nurses (since she won't be capable of getting to the fridge to get it herself because she's over 90 and has multiple broken bones in her lower body), etc.

Your mother is 102 and in good health. The OP's mother is over 90 and in BAD health. The OP's mother is ready to go, she's said so herself. She's sick and old - not merely sick (which can be treated) and not merely old (which doesn't indicate bad health). She's both. Sick, AND injured, and old, and ready to go. Let the poor woman go already. Forcing her to become a human pincushion for the remaining few years of her life is selfish on the part of whoever's forcing her to live, at the expense of a nearly non-existent -quality- of life.
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