U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 06-09-2012, 01:27 PM
 
729 posts, read 1,378,146 times
Reputation: 280

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
True story: My mother drank. A lot. Three fifths of bourbon a week. And she frequently fell and didn't remember what happened. After a time, she picked up the phone and called the number of a Help Line which referred her to an AA sponsor. When the man answered the phone, she said to him, "I'm calling because I think I may be an alcoholic." The man responded with, "Well when you're sure, call me back." and he hung up. In other words, don't waste my time. A person is serious when they
decide they need help, not when someone else decides.
Why was she calling a Help Line in the first place, then?

 
Old 06-09-2012, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Location: Location
6,220 posts, read 7,400,726 times
Reputation: 17867
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3divina View Post
Why was she calling a Help Line in the first place, then?
You seem to be having trouble with some of the responses you're getting here. She was calling a Help Line because she wanted someone to tell her that she wasn't an alcoholic and then she would be justified in continuing to drink her three fifths of bourbon and flip her family the bird when they said anything.

You sound like a young person who has never really been deeply involved with an alcoholic. It isn't a matter of making them get well. First, they have to admit they have a problem then they have to decide what they want to do about it, if anything. For people in recovery, it's an every day battle and they need all the support they can get. But you can't make them get it.
 
Old 06-09-2012, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Northern NH
4,551 posts, read 9,863,075 times
Reputation: 3782
Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
You seem to be having trouble with some of the responses you're getting here. She was calling a Help Line because she wanted someone to tell her that she wasn't an alcoholic and then she would be justified in continuing to drink her three fifths of bourbon and flip her family the bird when they said anything.

You sound like a young person who has never really been deeply involved with an alcoholic. It isn't a matter of making them get well. First, they have to admit they have a problem then they have to decide what they want to do about it, if anything. For people in recovery, it's an every day battle and they need all the support they can get. But you can't make them get it.

Agreed and in fact you seem to have trouble admitting this man is an alcholic. You are probably enabling him as well.
 
Old 06-09-2012, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Florida
2,291 posts, read 4,751,148 times
Reputation: 5220
Alcoholism is a progressive disease and left untreated it will get worse. There is no cure for this disease, its all a matter of working a strong recovery program and staying sober for life. The recovery rate for life is less than 10% and relapses are common even after years of soberity.

He is an adult and it is his responsibility to find and work a program, it would appear that there are
some enablers attempting to be involved in his recovery. Enablers don't understand that they are part of the problem, until the addict is allowed to fall to their knees they have no chance of getting better.

My mother is the alcoholic in my life, she is 87 and has been drinking daily for over 66 years, she has never sought recovery and has single handedly torn the family apart. I am once again no contact with her, did so two prior times, once for 10 years another 4, the happiest times of my adult life.
 
Old 06-09-2012, 08:58 PM
 
729 posts, read 1,378,146 times
Reputation: 280
Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
You seem to be having trouble with some of the responses you're getting here. She was calling a Help Line because she wanted someone to tell her that she wasn't an alcoholic and then she would be justified in continuing to drink her three fifths of bourbon and flip her family the bird when they said anything.
Yeah but what if someone told her she WAS an alcoholic?
 
Old 06-09-2012, 09:46 PM
 
Location: Mississippi
1,246 posts, read 1,713,634 times
Reputation: 2486
3divina, it might be beneficial for you to get some education on alcoholism. I would suggest going to an Alanon meeting.
 
Old 06-09-2012, 10:53 PM
 
729 posts, read 1,378,146 times
Reputation: 280
Okay, but that still doesn't answer my question.
 
Old 06-10-2012, 12:10 AM
 
Location: Mississippi
1,246 posts, read 1,713,634 times
Reputation: 2486
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3divina View Post
Yeah but what if someone told her she WAS an alcoholic?

If she is not ready to admit it then it doesn't really matter if people tell her she is alcoholic. To alcoholics and addicts, if they are still in denial, then it is everyone else that has a problem. They will use anything and everything in order to keep drinking or using. In fact, your friend could be agreeing to go to outpatient treatment to make his parents shut up and make it look like he really wants help all so that he can continue drinking.
 
Old 06-10-2012, 12:13 AM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,415,357 times
Reputation: 47455
it has nothing to do with the service provided. its the concept of confronting and owning his stuff that is odius.
 
Old 06-10-2012, 09:52 AM
 
729 posts, read 1,378,146 times
Reputation: 280
Quote:
Originally Posted by Madeline2121 View Post
If she is not ready to admit it then it doesn't really matter if people tell her she is alcoholic. To alcoholics and addicts, if they are still in denial, then it is everyone else that has a problem. They will use anything and everything in order to keep drinking or using. In fact, your friend could be agreeing to go to outpatient treatment to make his parents shut up and make it look like he really wants help all so that he can continue drinking.
Yes, I am aware of that. I have attended al-anon meetings as well, btw.

But if the woman was calling a help line on her own, how do we know she wasn't reaching out for help? She was referred to an AA sponsor, and then got hung up on just because of semantics?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top