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Old 06-10-2012, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,636 posts, read 53,511,196 times
Reputation: 18548

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AA takes a no-BS approach. If you want tea and sympathy, look elsewhere. She could have called right back and said "I have a problem."

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Last edited by SouthernBelleInUtah; 06-10-2012 at 04:37 PM..

 
Old 06-10-2012, 10:38 AM
 
11,686 posts, read 13,083,410 times
Reputation: 30973
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3divina View Post
A loved one of mine has a drinking problem and his parents found out about it (but not from me).....I'm just curious to know other peoples' takes on this.
Having dealth with alcoholism for many years before actually reaching the point where I had to do something about it, my take is that his pickiness is probably indicative of a desire to find an easy way around his problem, and his parents.

When he's had a dry year, you'll know if it was successful.
 
Old 06-10-2012, 11:26 AM
 
Location: The Lakes Region
3,074 posts, read 3,976,705 times
Reputation: 2336
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3divina View Post
Yes, I am aware of that. I have attended al-anon meetings as well, btw.

But if the woman was calling a help line on her own, how do we know she wasn't reaching out for help? She was referred to an AA sponsor, and then got hung up on just because of semantics?
"If you want what we have and are willing to 'go to any lengths to get it'then you are ready to take certain steps."

If she ran out of booze when the craving was in full force, and called a liquor store to order a bottle and they hung up on her she would find a way to get a drink and that I will guarantee you.
 
Old 06-10-2012, 12:58 PM
 
729 posts, read 1,378,146 times
Reputation: 280
He attends an outpatient program for addicts, although the way they introduce themselves at meetings is, "I'm so-and-so and my drug of choice is fill-in-the-blank (alcohol is included as a drug)" instead of "I'm so-and-so and I'm an alcoholic/addict" because that works better for some people, apparently.
 
Old 06-10-2012, 01:05 PM
 
Location: Location: Location
6,220 posts, read 7,400,726 times
Reputation: 17867
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3divina View Post
Yes, I am aware of that. I have attended al-anon meetings as well, btw.

But if the woman was calling a help line on her own, how do we know she wasn't reaching out for help? She was referred to an AA sponsor, and then got hung up on just because of semantics?
It would be interesting if you would explain exactly why you are being so argumentative on this subject. Several people have attempted to explain to you just what an addict needs to do to get help.

For further clarification that might help you understand what the adults here already know: Someone DID tell her she was an alcoholic. She wanted assurance from AA that she wasn't. Then she would have the proof that she needed (not the .89 proof) to continue drinking. The sponsors at AA are in recovery themselves and they are trained to know BS when they hear it. You don't call and say, "I think I may be an alcoholic". You say "I'm an alcoholic". And you commit to get the help you need. Now unless you want to continue this discussion with an intelligent comment, I cannot continue to indulge your insistence on why this person was rejected by an AA sponsor.

Perhaps you just don't know enough about alcoholism and alcoholics and are under the delusion that people who routinely drink to excess can just "get a grip and stop".


BTW: She is deceased. Her alcoholism caused a massive bleed in her brain, which the doctors attempted to repair but unfortunately lost her when the other hemisphere also bled.
 
Old 06-10-2012, 01:50 PM
 
729 posts, read 1,378,146 times
Reputation: 280
Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
It would be interesting if you would explain exactly why you are being so argumentative on this subject. Several people have attempted to explain to you just what an addict needs to do to get help.
I didn't think I was being argumentative. If anything, it seems like you are the one trying to argue with me. Rather, you are belittling/scolding me for not understanding exactly how the alcoholic mind works. It would be interesting if you would explain exactly what your problem is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
Perhaps you just don't know enough about alcoholism and alcoholics and are under the delusion that people who routinely drink to excess can just "get a grip and stop".
I'm learning.


Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
BTW: She is deceased. Her alcoholism caused a massive bleed in her brain, which the doctors attempted to repair but unfortunately lost her when the other hemisphere also bled.
My condolences.
 
Old 06-10-2012, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,636 posts, read 53,511,196 times
Reputation: 18548
This thread has run its course and is closed.
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Old 06-29-2012, 01:15 AM
 
1,385 posts, read 1,779,099 times
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No she got hung up on because the guy wanted to her to decide is she was ready to get help. If you must ask someone those things i.e. "Am I and alcoholic?", then you should know the answer.
 
Old 06-29-2012, 02:18 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
14 posts, read 33,119 times
Reputation: 44
My mother died a the age of 83 from alcoholism and she denied being an alcoholic for all the years she drank. It was only when she was diagnosed with Cirrohosis of the Liver, and managed to "live" for three more weeks ,that she admitted she had a drinking problem. Sadly, she managed to alienate all of her kids and her death was a very lonely one. After many years, I still mourn the loss of never really connecting with her, as I would have liked to have done.
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