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Old 06-10-2012, 06:30 PM
 
Location: Australia
4,004 posts, read 5,085,743 times
Reputation: 6767

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Quote:
Originally Posted by =Lavender= View Post
thank you for this info. I'm concerned about telling her face to face because she is a very emotional person and I don't know how far her emotions will go.. She has a VERY BAD attitude when people correct her about other things at work.


I was also thinking about dropping her as friend.
If you work with her, it is your bosses responsibility to ensure she presents with an appropriate level of hygiene.

If she is just a friend...I would avoid her like the plague.

She is obviously not very hygienic. If she's moving around and working etc, she's fully capable of cleaning herself properly even if she has to use a mop to do it. I know a lot of obese people who are absolutely immaculate because they make sure they are.

She would smell herself too.

IMO it's often dirty clothes that stink...the person showers then gets back into the same funky junk.

Either way it's not acceptable in this day and age. I'd cut her loose. Skanky.

 
Old 06-10-2012, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,481 posts, read 15,923,785 times
Reputation: 38761
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brookins10 View Post
Truly there is no way to have that conversation with someone, no way, without them being offended. And sending them an anonymous letter, even worse idea because then not only are they offended and embarrassed, but they are left wondering who sent it, and that could be torture all it itself, wondering who at work (a guy, a girl, the boss) sent me a letter basically saying i stank. And sending a gift basket full of toiletries might be a nice idea, but they might not get the point; they might just think it's a nice gesture, and simply shelf the basket somewhere.
My suggestion is that...It's tried and true and it worked before..So here goes...I had the same situation in my office years ago. And I was very close to the perpetrator. Everybody talked about this lady...Not only did she have BO, but you could tell she drank heavily because sometime the smell would come through her pores. So since everybody was talking, i simply told her that some in the office was talking smack, saying she had body odor. She was so upset, asked who said it. I told her i had walked into the bathroom and heard some women in the stall talking about it. She pressed me for names but I told her I wasn't sure because they were in the stall...And I said it could have been this person, could have been that person, basically i threw out some names but didn't confirm anyone, and made sure to say i really couldn't tell because they were laughing alot. She fixed the problem guys! That BO was gone from that day onward, though the alcohol through her pores remained. I really think she neglected her hygiene because she is a alcoholic..She seemed really embarrassed that people thought she had bad hygiene, and I think that made her hypervigilant about her hygiene afterwards..Hey it worked...Bottom line, if you want to be friends with this person, tell them what the rumors are, and let them fix it on their own.
It would be kindness to tell her in person, even if it means that you lose her as a friend. She may also be able to explain, "Yes, I'm seeing a doctor and they are having problems curing (whatever)".

I have always thought that anonymous notes were sort of cruel.

Someone once played an anonymous, slightly mean, trick on me at work. I am not a super sensitive person, but for months afterwards I wondered who did it. I was a little embarrassed and looked at all my co-workers a little differently after that.

Now, imagine if you are super sensitive and someone sent you an anonymous note about body odor it would be horrible.
 
Old 06-10-2012, 06:47 PM
 
Location: FLG/PHX/MKE
7,289 posts, read 12,872,496 times
Reputation: 11529
If the smell is that foul, she MUST notice it when she sits down to use the bathroom. Maybe she can't find the origin or attack its source because of her girth. I suppose it's possible that there is a simple problem, like a lost sandwich that slid between her skin's folds somewhere. Either way, it's a sensitive issue.

I don't know if there is any good way to take on this challenge without her being offended to some extent. Communicating it as a friend, might be a bit less painful for her than receiving an anonymous letter.
 
Old 06-10-2012, 07:30 PM
 
Location: Floribama
13,497 posts, read 29,444,231 times
Reputation: 11900
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAnnThrope View Post

IMO it's often dirty clothes that stink...the person showers then gets back into the same funky junk.
Or a filthy house. In that case they often don't smell it, because theyre in it all the time.
 
Old 06-10-2012, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,481 posts, read 15,923,785 times
Reputation: 38761
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
She may not necessarily smell herself. I work in a hospital with offensive odors and I usually can't smell something DH can. It's all in what becomes just natural to the individual.
I agree that someone can get used to a smell and not "smell it any more". Think of people who smoke who don't realize that they smell of smoke or people who live with lots of pets or on a farm. A new person would smell the odor but if you are around it everyday you don't notice or "smell" it.

Also, some people have a very poor sense of smell overall, my son & husband both have very poor smell and can't tell the difference between different food aromas when 95% of people can easily identfy them.

So, she may not be aware of it.
 
Old 06-11-2012, 07:18 AM
 
944 posts, read 1,366,051 times
Reputation: 618
LMAO some of you are so FUNNY... I am p-ing in my pants here reading these posts. Now I am gonna smell.........lol


I will let you know what happens I see her Thursday. I will report that nite or friday.
 
Old 06-11-2012, 07:36 AM
 
Location: California
572 posts, read 1,491,459 times
Reputation: 496
Being overweight has NOTHING to do with hygiene!!! I'm overweight and I know how to "get r done"...The truth is, pigs come in all sizes, races and economic backgrounds...My house is spotless, my clothes are new and clean and I bathe once to twice a day...She obviously wasn't taught much growing up and has no idea how to take care of herself...I'd just tell her the truth and if she cuts you off, then you won't have to unfriend her...
 
Old 06-11-2012, 07:37 AM
 
Location: Islip,NY
16,935 posts, read 19,680,616 times
Reputation: 17199
You know I was thinking...If it bothers you that much say something to her and he she gets mad and does not want to be your friend then so be it. Try and be a nice about as you can and see what the outcome is.
 
Old 06-11-2012, 11:40 AM
 
Location: NJ
9,175 posts, read 20,208,384 times
Reputation: 6230
Quote:
Originally Posted by =Lavender= View Post
I have a friend who has a VERY STRONG Funky Oder coming from her vagina region. She is a very sensitive person and I don't want to hurt her feelings. She is also very overweight and now that the warm weather is upon us it is VERY BAD.

The other day I got into my car and it smelled clean and fresh. Once she came into my car it was HORRIFIC where I started gagging and she asked me if I was sick, I open the windows kept the AC on put the peddle to the metal and dropped her off at her home. Once she left my car the stench was no longer/

I spoke to a friend of mine and she explained that women who are obese have a hard time keeping that region clean do to their size and also do to the fact that there is a lot of excess fat, skin that is rubbing and in a dark region where female body fluids run free making it a most area.

I was thinking of sending a anonymous letter to her at work or her home.

if anyone has advise how to address this I appreciate it greatly.
Possible that she's not wiping her butt correctly or that she doesn't change her under pants often enough. Also possible it's just on her from her home & unless she soaks herself; washes her clothes & changes regularly plus cleans her house & furniture; nothing will matter. I know people like that. If you can't handle the smell; stop giving rides.
 
Old 06-11-2012, 08:53 PM
 
Location: Floribama
13,497 posts, read 29,444,231 times
Reputation: 11900
I know a lady that smells like cat poop, she's as nice as can be, but I can't be within ten feet of her or i'll start gagging. I know she has lots of cats and I can only imagine what her house smells like. She smells like an overflowing litter box.
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