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Old 07-02-2012, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Oriental, NC
917 posts, read 2,050,710 times
Reputation: 448

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Does anyone have any helpful advice regarding how to help someone who is trying to get off drugs? Crack and Coke seem to be the main problems. They are in a 3 day hosp. program now, but that does not seem long enough to me. She wants to come home and she is 18 so I can't force a longer stay. I believe the crack use was mainly in the last few months. Her boyfriend died a few weeks ago and she became suicidal after that, not caring what she did. A few mornings ago she came to me at 6am and said, " Mom please take me to the hosp. I don't want to be one of those awful "crack-*****" girls. I want a new life but I'm so depressed I keep falling into it." So Now what... Our tiny town has 900 people and even I know the names of 4 drug dealers. I've heard they come knock on your door or window and offer it for free if you tell them you're done! My husband says we have to move, and maybe we do, but that will take at least a month or so to put together. We are retired,(she is our youngest) but none of the siblings want to have her stay with them temporarily. What do I need to be on the lookout for in the meantime? Also what sort of meds, foods, activities etc might help. Thanks for any ideas anyone might have.
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Old 07-03-2012, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Noblesville, IN
3,687 posts, read 3,929,385 times
Reputation: 6122
Ann, I'm sorry I don't have any real advice for you...moving away from there seems like a great choice but a timely one. But I do offer you my prayers for your family. It seems very encouraging to me that your young one asked for help. Seeing how her life COULD be is scary and that prompted her stay in the hospital.

Can the hospital suggest a longer term program that's available close to where you are? What about your insurance company? I'm pretty sure that being in the same kind of routine or environment that first got your daughter in this situation is going to have to change. The same scenery will make her feel the same way which led her to drug use. My only suggestion (as you likely know) would be to get her out of the same ol' place.

I truly wish for a positive outcome...many prayers headed your way.
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Old 07-04-2012, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Oriental, NC
917 posts, read 2,050,710 times
Reputation: 448
Thank you so much for your prayers. We will need many. Has been home 2 days and already had 1 relapse. I'm working on getting her out of here, but now her father thinks it's a waste of time and she can't be saved. She's only 18. I may die trying but I won't stop.
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Old 07-04-2012, 03:01 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 34,687,871 times
Reputation: 20198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann in Oriental View Post
Thank you so much for your prayers. We will need many. Has been home 2 days and already had 1 relapse. I'm working on getting her out of here, but now her father thinks it's a waste of time and she can't be saved. She's only 18. I may die trying but I won't stop.
If your husband is confident that there's no point in trying, then your daughter is already doomed to fail. Drug addiction is a family problem, not an individual problem. You need family drug counseling so that you can ALL understand the addiction, AND the treatment. This isn't something that can be fixed with an instruction sheet.

She is relapsing, because she needs more support than you (you, meaning you as a whole singular family unit) are willing to give. Your unit is as strong as its weakest link; which is your husband, who has rejected the possibility of recovery. Your daughter at least made that step to try and DO something about it. Your husband has sabotaged that effort.

Two days home with WHAT kind of support? Did she have close supervision the last two days? Was she allowed to drive the car away from home? Could she do what she wanted, come and go as she pleased? Was there anything in effect to prevent her from acquiring drugs?

Yes, she's a big girl - she's 18, and *legally* she can do what she wants. But if YOU want her to heal, and if YOU want this to occur in YOUR home, then YOU need to have the backbone and your husband MUST support you. If he can't or chooses not do do that, then don't bother and just give your daughter a crack pipe and point her to the door.
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Old 07-04-2012, 03:44 PM
 
Location: FL
1,717 posts, read 2,507,514 times
Reputation: 1842
OMG, what a horrible situation. Don't give up on her. Take her right back to the hospital, she needs a minimum of a 28 day program. Doesn't she realize her future is either prison or dead if she keeps this up?
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Old 07-04-2012, 03:52 PM
 
3,597 posts, read 3,582,318 times
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You have to cut off all financial support. Offer a rehab ultimatum if she doesn't complete it and relapses you have to be willing to cut off ALL financial support. Sometimes people only learn once they hit rock bottom.
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Old 07-04-2012, 04:47 PM
 
Location: FL
1,717 posts, read 2,507,514 times
Reputation: 1842
Chances are OP if you know who the dealers are, so do the cops. Cops will observe this activity for weeks or even months and if your daughter is on that dealing property when doors get kicked down , she's just as guilty as the dealer himself.

If I were in the situation, first I'd post No trespassing on my property. I'd confront the "window knockers" and say I know what business you're in and this house doesn't want any of your business anymore, I'll have you arrested for trespassing and trespassing only. it's really a sticky situation because threatening to turn them in for dealing could bring unwanted consequences.
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Old 07-04-2012, 10:15 PM
 
Location: Cartersville, GA
1,253 posts, read 2,863,130 times
Reputation: 1080
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShellNic View Post
Can the hospital suggest a longer term program that's available close to where you are? What about your insurance company? I'm pretty sure that being in the same kind of routine or environment that first got your daughter in this situation is going to have to change. The same scenery will make her feel the same way which led her to drug use. My only suggestion (as you likely know) would be to get her out of the same ol' place....
The days of long-term inpatient drug rehab programs are over, unless you can pay out of pocket ($1000/day, in many cases.) Insurance companies have pretty much stopped authorizing inpatient treatment for mental illness and drug addiction, unless there is a clear, immediate life-threatening issue (e.g. suicidal or homicidal ideations.) Substance use is clearly life-threatening, but the threat is not deemed to be imminent enough to warrant hospitalization.

You are right about the "same routine environment." The OP plans to move, and this is a good plan. Additional support via. outpatient therapy and/or group therapy (Narcotics Anonymous) are also excellent ideas.
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Old 07-04-2012, 10:27 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,385,789 times
Reputation: 8956
Can you afford rehab? I would try to get her into rehab and then a sober living environment.

It's so sad that the entire town is so immersed in drug culture. What do police and social workers recommend?

You need expert help.

Take good care of yourself too . . .Alanon or Naranon or whatever, might help you cope.
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Old 07-04-2012, 11:07 PM
 
Location: Cartersville, GA
1,253 posts, read 2,863,130 times
Reputation: 1080
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
Can you afford rehab?
Very, very few can. See my prior post. My mother in law just dropped $30,000 for alcohol rehab, for her husband. He continued to drink when he was released.
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