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Old 05-13-2013, 05:48 PM
Status: "Celebrating 55 plus..." (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: Out there somewhere...
37,209 posts, read 40,366,882 times
Reputation: 99274

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OP open up this site, print it and give it to your husband. Tell him if he values his health and wants to live to a ripe old age he needs to read this.

Bad Breath Causes - American Dental Association
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Old 05-13-2013, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Mayberry
30,482 posts, read 11,875,581 times
Reputation: 67695
It sounds like you are scared to have a serious discussion with your husband about ongoing hygiene problems. I'm sorry, but there is no other choice.
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Old 05-13-2013, 05:59 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 4,695,273 times
Reputation: 11833
He's probably got gum disease and his teeth are on the verge of falling out.

He needs to get to a dentist, stat.
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Old 05-13-2013, 08:43 PM
 
16,487 posts, read 18,898,327 times
Reputation: 16080
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Can anyone offer a gentle but firm way for me to tell my husband he has bad breath?

His breath is terrible pretty much all of the time. I've tried to hint, I've even asked him to brush his teeth now and again. He doesn't brush regularly and it's gross -- he wants to French kiss me when as far as I can tell he hasn't brushed his teeth in a day or two -- it is terrible.

I am so embarrassed to be posting this.

Even my son has told him his breath is bad. His reaction is to get VERY upset and insulted and to throw it back at my son and tell him he smells in various ways. I am sure he would do the same to me because in the past there are one or two things I've gently suggested he hygenically change and he yelled at me that *I* smell or am dirty or whatever. (I don't and I'm not.)

Just now I was on the bed and he tried to come cuddle and he was breathing into my face...oh it was terrible...I just can't describe the smell. I had to get up on some pretext of checking the laundry. He acted miffed/insulted.

Help...how can I approach this? It has been going on for years. NO amount of hinting helps but I am afraid to outright tell him because of how furious he'll get and how he'll pout about it for days.

Anyone deal with this?
My ex-husband, whom I was married to for 24 years, had terrible breath, mostly for the last half of our marriage. In the 24 years we were married he only went to the dentist twice, first time to get an aching tooth x-rayed and to get antibiotics for it, and the second time to have that tooth pulled. That was it! He would brush his teeth once on a good day. He also liked to french kiss and it about made me ill. I wouldn't have sex with him unless he brushed his teeth, but they were so bad it only helped a little when he finally did brush them. Don't expect him to take any hints or do the right thing himself because he won't. I know it is hard but you need to be upfront with him. Sit him down alone and tell him and tell him how you feel. If he has not been to the dentist in a long time, get him to go. I won't ever get into a relationship again where I deal with that cra*.
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Old 05-13-2013, 09:00 PM
 
16,487 posts, read 18,898,327 times
Reputation: 16080
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
He actually hasn't been to a dentist in many years. I think I will start with that. "Why don't we both go to the dentist?" Ugh, my stomach is in knots. I just know how this conversation is going to wind up.

Thank you all so far for the responses. This is so, so embarrassing to talk about. But I am at my wits' end. Thank you so much for the input.
I didn't read this posting before I posted. I see her husband is just like my ex. The bottom line is he isn't going to like anything you say on this subject to him. It is disgusting and really detracts how you feel sexually about him I am sure. There is no other way around this other than talking to him or writing him a letter (I suggest talking). I addressed this with my ex now and then, but not as sternly as I should have and it was part of what ended up being a divorce. The way I looked at it is this...if he didn't care enough about how I felt, if he didn't want to improve his own health and our marriage and our sex lives, then what am I doing with him. I felt sorry for the people that had to work with him day after day in a cramped office. I would sometimes go over to the office and the whole darn office would stink because of his breath. I got to where I was no longer sexually attracted to him and that just went downbhill and it was one thing after another. This is an important issue and I hope you can get this worked out with him.
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Old 05-13-2013, 09:53 PM
 
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
5,866 posts, read 7,050,490 times
Reputation: 4246
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Can anyone offer a gentle but firm way for me to tell my husband he has bad breath?

His breath is terrible pretty much all of the time. I've tried to hint, I've even asked him to brush his teeth now and again. He doesn't brush regularly and it's gross -- he wants to French kiss me when as far as I can tell he hasn't brushed his teeth in a day or two -- it is terrible.

I am so embarrassed to be posting this.

Even my son has told him his breath is bad. His reaction is to get VERY upset and insulted and to throw it back at my son and tell him he smells in various ways. I am sure he would do the same to me because in the past there are one or two things I've gently suggested he hygenically change and he yelled at me that *I* smell or am dirty or whatever. (I don't and I'm not.)

Just now I was on the bed and he tried to come cuddle and he was breathing into my face...oh it was terrible...I just can't describe the smell. I had to get up on some pretext of checking the laundry. He acted miffed/insulted.

Help...how can I approach this? It has been going on for years. NO amount of hinting helps but I am afraid to outright tell him because of how furious he'll get and how he'll pout about it for days.

Anyone deal with this?
Divorce.

From your post it seems like SO MUCH MORE than terrible breath. You dont deserve to have a husband that behaves like this and willingly put himself in that stinky state and does not do anything to change it. He also gets mad about this? This is a huge issue.
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Old 05-13-2013, 09:58 PM
 
1,459 posts, read 1,489,589 times
Reputation: 1392
Some men are no different then woman when it comes to what others think of them. Tell him his breathe is horrible and fix it. Be it dental or diet, if its smells like the poop ferry pays his mouth a visit daily, he should be made aware of it. Maybe your breath stinks and he is trying to give you a hint...lol j/k of course
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Old 05-13-2013, 10:31 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 9,463,145 times
Reputation: 8956
How can you and your son have a good relationship with him under the circumstances?

He not only is unappealing, but irrational and uncooperative.

What do you enjoy about your marriage?
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Old 05-13-2013, 11:17 PM
 
Location: San Gabriel Valley, CA
20,447 posts, read 20,843,649 times
Reputation: 17172
Imcurious, I do love him. He is extremely funny and we love all the same things.
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:42 AM
 
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
5,866 posts, read 7,050,490 times
Reputation: 4246
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Imcurious, I do love him. He is extremely funny and we love all the same things.
that seems more complicated, then
try counseling?
his reactions to your sugestions is what wrong here. and the fact that he let go himself so much
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