End Stage Liver Disease (depression, therapy, how to, ears)

[tydgrl]

My mother was diagnosed 8 months ago with End Stage Liver Disease, sent home on hospice and was given a life expectancy of maybe 8 weeks. She is now in complete remission. What I want to know is, does anyone know how to go about getting her back into the "world of the living". She was an alcoholic for 25 years, but is now a "recovering alcoholic". But she doesn't seem to appreciate all she has been through, and I am at my wits end trying to get her to "live". Any suggestions. She lives with me now and I really don't know what else to do for her. I have tried getting her to volunteer, etc. Any thoughts are greatly appreciated.

[GreenMachine]

Originally Posted by tydgrl

My mother was diagnosed 8 months ago with End Stage Liver Disease, sent home on hospice and was given a life expectancy of maybe 8 weeks. She is now in complete remission. What I want to know is, does anyone know how to go about getting her back into the "world of the living". She was an alcoholic for 25 years, but is now a "recovering alcoholic". But she doesn't seem to appreciate all she has been through, and I am at my wits end trying to get her to "live". Any suggestions. She lives with me now and I really don't know what else to do for her. I have tried getting her to volunteer, etc. Any thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Sounds like you are putting a lot of energy into your mother. I would suggest going to some Al-Anon meetings so you can work on yourself. You are not your mother's keeper. She has made her own choices in life. She had years and years to stop drinking. Every time someone put a glass of booze in front of her, she had a chance to say no. She chose not too. She also chose to drink rather than be a mother to you. You probably gave up your childhood now you are still taking care of her as an adult. It is not your job to pump life back into your mother and find her volunteer work. Why are you doing this? Why aren't you focusing on your own life. The only thing you can control is you.

greenie

[Ruralgalnebraska]

The best thing you can do for your mom imo is to pray for her. Ask God to bring her back to the land of the living! He will!
You might also try attending some meetings for loved ones of alcoholics. They may have some ideas for you as well.
God bless you!
Jean

[cynwldkat]

It takes a LOOOOOONG time for an x-addict/alcoholic to enjoy life again after getting sober. Your brain has a lot of adjusting to do. I don't know the age of your mother...and by the way, it sounds like she has already had a "miracle"...but along with stopping the alcohol, getting through what was thought to be a terminal illness and perhaps her age..the alcohol stimulated her dopamine and now it has to stimulate itself without the help of alcohol. As a person get older dopamine naturally slows down production. Dopamine is what makes a person happy/enjoy things. So now you add the two and it's twice as bad. It just takes time. You can only do so much and as other posters have pointed out--you also have a life to live. Does she still attend AA meetings? They have many different activities and they are sober activities. Many places have them nearly everyday if not everyday. There are depression therapy groups that are almost like get togethers with other people and a place to talk about your troubles. YOU can only give suggestions to her--remember the old saying: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!!! Good luck!