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Well think about it... The stools which come out of the anus are much larger around than a finger. And those would not come out if you were not "relaxing". So first relax as though you are going number 2.
Then be sure the doctor places plenty of lubrication on his finger and goes slow. You can ask that he stop, use more lubrication, and go slower.
It's uncomfortable, but it only lasts like 30 seconds or so.... Just let it happen. If you are tensed or anxious, it may hurt since you are contracting the muscles.
Make sure the doctor doesn't have two hands on your shoulder when he's giving you the prostate check. It always seems to hurt more when he does it that way.
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