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Old 05-23-2014, 04:38 PM
 
14,376 posts, read 18,302,163 times
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I'm an atheist, but I'll put something out there about religion. When someone has an addictive personality, often they replace that addiction to alcohol with another nonchemical addiction. Addiction has association with obsessiveness. Many alcoholics replace the addiction to alcohol with an addiction to something else - like Jesus. Religion can be a great help to people who believe in it, but be careful when you use it as a replacement addiction.

Dear Abby similarly had a letter recently where a woman's husband had replaced his addiction to alcohol with an addiction to AA meetings, to the point that he was neglecting his family far more than he ever did when he was an active alcoholic.

And one of my exes as a child saw his mother get herself off alcohol and drugs only to be sucked into AA and church and whatever - to the point that he was neglected and often demonized because he did not believe as fervently as she did. He became her scapegoat.

Get yourself screened for mental health issues in conjunction with going to AA. You may be self-medicating a mental health problem, and AA isn't really going to address stuff like bipolar disorder as well as a psychiatrist would.
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Old 05-23-2014, 05:29 PM
 
4,862 posts, read 7,939,637 times
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Back in my power drinking youth I did it for fun. Well at some point it has to stop or suffer the consequences. One DUI can ruin your life or kill someone. Then there's the potential long term health issues. You had your time so give it up.

The mind controls the body and if it's not around then it's not an issue. That being said I do get the craving for a cold long neck but I keep it at one or maybe two. Just take control of yourself and you'll be ok.
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Old 05-23-2014, 06:06 PM
 
5,644 posts, read 13,193,083 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EuroTrashed View Post
Where did I deny the existence of alcoholism? Liar.


I just disagree that there is a God who is going to save you. You have to do it yourself and I'm telling you how I did it myself and how you might be able to do it too. If the level of alcoholism is simply too high you need doctor's treatment, but I cannot assess that from your post. In any case no approach that includes God or sweet baby Jesus is going to do much good for you, especially since you already tried it.
Where did you deny the existence of alcoholism???

Um, how about your ENTIRE post!!!!

1. "You have to improve your diet so your body doesn't crave the cheap source of energy anymore. "

Alcohol addiction has nothing, nothing to do with craving calories....THAT is denial of the addiction

2. "And never let anyone talk you into feeling guilty when drinking"

Right, don't want anyone pointing out the harm you might be doing to yourself, your family and friends or the innocents who happen to driving on the road at the same time as you. Not to mention that feeling "guilty" because of your addiction is one of the signs of alcoholism...

3. "In moderation it's a perfectly healthy thing to do and in excess it's often still better than a lot of medicines "

For the non alcoholic, drinking in moderation is fine. To spout this nonsense to someone who is clearly struggling with alcohol dependence is to deny the existence of alcoholism since alcoholics by definition, CANT DRINK IN MODERATION. The fact that you think drinking in excess isn't really so bad needs no further explanation.

4. "don't exagerate the severeness of drinking"

Right, and THAT statement right there ISN'T a denial of the existence of alcoholism??? That is how alcoholics rationalize their whole state of being.....everyone else is exaggerating the problem.....

You can call me a liar, but only one of us is completely full of manure....and it isn't me....

As for this most recent idiotic post of yours,"In any case no approach that includes God or sweet baby Jesus is going to do much good for you"

Tell that to the literally hundreds of thousands whose lives have been saved by just such an approach...
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Old 05-23-2014, 06:20 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,123 posts, read 63,519,992 times
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My feeling is, there is a place between AA and self awareness.
AA is definitely for people who have reached rock bottom. It may be a place for people who recognize a helplessness for their need for alcohol. I haven't been to AA and am not an expert on it.

My family is genetically predisposed to alcoholism. My father was one, late in life. My husband's family was also predisposed, his father and grandfather.

I can see that my husband has an addictive personality, more is better, while I do not. I enjoy drinking, but I do not drink to excess. The jury is still out on my husband or his two sons. I have warned them all repeatedly, and I hope for the best.

To the OPs question, if you are genetically predisposed, you will most likely need to never touch substances of any kind, because if you do, you will become dependent.
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Old 05-23-2014, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Native Floridian, USA
5,297 posts, read 7,596,342 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick View Post
...snipped....With alcohol, you need to see a professional who can help you manage your cravings, either with medication, or behavioral modification, "talk-therapy," group therapy, or any of a number of other methods. AA is one method, and since you are a believer in "a higher power" then AA might just be a good match for you. That would be the "professional help" you need.

....snipped.....
AA and "professional" help are not mutually exclusive. Someone very close to me is 60 days out of rehab, receiving professional counseling and attending AA meetings and has a sponser, as their rehab program advised. They don't do much treatment with chemicals.

This person is probably an atheist but they have taken out of AA what they can use and AA seems to be okay with that. It is not for everyone but it has helped a lot of people, the same as many other programs. There is no one size fits all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by adventuregurl View Post
Moderation is NOT possible for someone addicted to alcohol as it's having the alcohol that makes you want more so every time you have some it's like you're back at day 1 again (they say it reacts differently in the bodies of addicts - like an allergy of sorts).

You NEED at 12 step program as another poster suggested - good luck it can be a tough haul!
I think you have to seek out what works for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
My feeling is, there is a place between AA and self awareness.
AA is definitely for people who have reached rock bottom. It may be a place for people who recognize a helplessness for their need for alcohol. I haven't been to AA and am not an expert on it.

My family is genetically predisposed to alcoholism ...snipped....
My family is genetically predisposed to alcoholism on both sides, yet, neither my mother or father ever drank. Three of my alcoholic, high functioning brothers literally drank themselves to death over a period of time and the fourth became an alcoholic and then killed himself. None of them ever sought any treatment or had a relationship with God. Real men didn't get treatment and my particular line was not as religious as some of the siblings. But two of my brothers often spoke of a great emptiness and aloneness in their lives. Maybe AA would have helped.

The brother that committed suicide was under the care of a "professional". He was in such despair over his alcoholism and other problems, he could not bear the pain and killed himself with alcohol and pills. I miss him every day.

I, myself, had a problem with excessive drinking for a period of about 10-12 years. I never lost a job or had trouble performing my job but it was a drag. I realized, one day, that I couldn't drink and survive financially. I was done with it for then. Now, occasionally, I will have a frou-frou drink such as a margarita or pina colada, if we go out for dinner. But, I won't go back to my vodka gimlets, or scotch or bourbon on the rocks, as that is deadly for me.
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Old 05-23-2014, 08:08 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,123 posts, read 63,519,992 times
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If I can add to my previous post, in which I said my husband and his son have a family history, one of my husband's sons is a recovering alcoholic and substance abuser, after having been gravely wounded as a soldier. He is recovering and he says, all addictions are the same. He has the background to know.
Whether it is hoarding, prescription drugs, illegal drugs, cigarettes or alcohol. If you abuse ANY of these things, you need to recognize it and nip it in the bud.
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Old 05-24-2014, 01:15 AM
 
1,168 posts, read 1,240,946 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedevilz View Post
Where did you deny the existence of alcoholism???

Um, how about your ENTIRE post!!!!


Etc. etc.
I've been an alcoholic for 10 years and didn't need the help from a mythological monster to cure me from it. I did it myself according to the points that I have written above. I'm just offering my perspective and personal experience which happened to work. It's up to Aneye4detail to chose whether he wants to try a new, more rational approach. It's not up to you to silence other perspectives
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Old 05-24-2014, 03:07 AM
 
Location: Long Neck,De
4,792 posts, read 8,162,520 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945 View Post
If your belief in Jesus gives you some strength, fine, but that is not going to do it alone. As was mentioned above, you need a solid program to help you with this disease (and, yes, it IS A DISEASE).

A lady friend of mine is an alcoholic and hit bottom several times before the realization set in that she needed help. She rationalized it by saying she was not an alcoholic, but an alcohol abuser ! She finally got help and has been sober for a year or so now and is her old self again.

BUT, YOU CAN NEVER TOUCH ONE DROP OF ALCOHOL AGAIN, EVER ! If you do, all the hard work you put in will be wasted and you have to start over again because that one drop will start you right back where you were before.

You have started the first step, you realize you have a problem, now get professional help. There are lots of free programs everywhere to help you. Good luck.

Don
What a scary thought for someone who "needs"it. How about saying I'm not going to drink today? Maybe even just I'm not going to drink right now.
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Old 05-24-2014, 09:11 AM
 
261 posts, read 416,158 times
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For a true addict who wants to stay clean and sober, I don't believe there is any moderation. I've been treated twice in my life for alcohol addiction. I haven't drank any alcohol since 1997. What I've learned about myself over that period of time, is that I get addicted to anything I really truly enjoy. It's like a passion. If I could find a passion for something that's positive, I think I'd be the best at whatever my passion was. But I really obsess if it's something I really enjoy. It's like I can't get enough. I know no moderation. Whether it's alcohol, drugs, sex, food, exercise, work. I take it to the limit. I had a time in my life when I replaced alcohol with exercise. I became obsessed with running. I'd run 6 miles everyday. I'd get up at 3am to go run 6 miles, just so I could get it out of the way. If for some reason I misjudged my distance and only ran 5.9 miles instead of 6 miles, I'd go out that evening and run 6 miles. It was crazy. But I could run a long ways and I could run fast. I'd run 6 miles in 36 minutes, and some days when I was feeling real good and the weather was perfect, I run 6 miles in 32 to 34 minutes. Sometimes I felt like I could just run forever. I never really got tired. My first mile was the roughest, but after about the first mile, I didn't hardly breathe hard or heavy. I ran very relaxed. My mind would get into it. It was very hypnotic and spiritual. But I finally got burned out on running after about 5 years continuously, and never really got back into it.

Based on my own experience, if a person doesn't get to the bottom of what is troubling him or her, he or she is mostly liable to switch addictions. I really don't think there is such a thing as moderation for an alcoholic whose goal is to drink moderately and responsibly.

Last edited by qwertyasdf; 05-24-2014 at 09:31 AM..
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Old 05-25-2014, 03:04 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,508,953 times
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There are a few people who can do it without AA. But I don't think this happens all that often and I wouldn't recommend it to everyone.

I really think it's an individual journey. Not everyone hooks to alcohol/drugs the same way. Different people have different triggers, stressors and vulnerabilities to addiction. The safest solution is, and always will be, to pass on it all together. The first drink is a lot easier to turn down than the 2nd, 5th and 10th.

I wasn't an every day drinker, but I couldn't stop at one, or at a buzz. I had to get pickled. I was fortunate to be able to stop without help, mainly because I got to a point where I was literally tired of drinking. So, I didn't "quit". I just stopped. But I wasn't prepared for what I actually had to endure. I had to learn how to enjoy myself and cope without it. Add to this the realization that most of my friends were anything but. I wouldn't change a thing, but it was pretty painful and I felt very much alone. Maybe that's where AA could have helped. I would recommend going, even if you feel like you can do it on your own, to help with the adjustments and any loss that comes from your decision to quit.

As for Jesus, I also thought it was all his doing. After all, how could anyone who depended on alcohol as much as I did just stop drinking without help and without ANY nasty withdrawals. It HAD to be a higher power, right? I don't agree with that anymore. I didn't give myself enough credit. I would advise you not to view your sober days as salvation. This can leave you feeling abandoned when you cave and you don't need another reason to drink. Addiction is a physical dependency, first and foremost. No amount of religion or positive thinking will change your physical draw to alcohol. So, you have to take full responsibility for quitting. And when you do, you get to pat yourself on the back for doing so.

I wish you all the best. *hugs*
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