My dad just told me he only has 5-10 years to live... (doctor, heart)
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When my father was in his early 60s, his doctor told him 5 years max if he didn't quit smoking. He continued. 5 years to the day, he died. COPD. I knew he was dying. I wasn't prepared for it, though. I wish I'd spent more time with him.
Don't regret not doing some of the things you might want to do. Do them. Enjoy his time - it might be 5 years or 2 years or 10 or more. But live them with him.
First of all, sorry to hear the prognosis. Sounds like you really love your Dad, so enjoy the time you have with him, be it one day or 30 years.
That being said, I will be 69 tomorrow, like your Dad, and if I get another 5-10 years I will be very happy. I am in good health, no issues that I know of, but if I get to be 75 or 80 that will be about all I can expect or want. It isn't how many years you live, it is how you lived those years.
I understand how you feel about your Dad, mine smoked from the time he was 13 and he died at 47, when I was 11. He used to tell me "If I EVER see you with a cigarette in your hand I will break your fingers !" It must have sunk in because I never picked up one in my life.
75 years old seems like a very long life to me. No reasons to complain. Many people don't get that far.
That's quite true. My mother lost four siblings when they were in their 40s and 50s. Her eldest brother lived to see 101. She passed when she was 86, somewhere in the middle.
I don't know what his doctor told him, but I do know he concealed the diagnosis from my mother for over a year because he didn't want her to worry about him. He didn't tell any of us. My mother only found out about it when she berated him into going to an urgent care clinic after he became exhausted and collapsed due to walking across a parking lot. The doc did some tests including some breath test and an x-ray, then came back into the room and said "So, your COPD...what do you take for it?"
I understand how you feel and I do not think he is being over dramatic. As well as the friend I told you about that is still alive and doing pretty well I had another friend who was given a life sentence; yes, with COPD. She was told she would live about 7 years. She did beat that, but not by much. I believe the doctor gave him the normal life span for someone in his category of COPD, whatever that might be.
I didn't read this before I posted my reply but, boy, do I agree with you! I will likely feel the same way at 80!
and even older. As long as we feel relatively healthy and our minds are sharp or pretty sharp, our age never seems to be that old. Heck I am always telling my daughter about the old lady I play bridge with or the old couple at church. She will ask me how old and I will say, well at least 85. There was a time when I would say 75; now that I have passed that, it isn't old. I think young people do not understand this.
Of course you are right in some ways, but still hearing you are losing someone you really love isn't easy and today, most of us assume we will live to be in our 80s or older. I am guessing you are not at that stage yet. I know so many people in their 80s that are still sharp and with the exception of a few aches and pains they are still doing well. I happen to be one of them. No, I am not 80 but not far away and I am planning on being around to bug people for a few more years, at least.
Not sure what "stage" we are talking about here. Early in my second marriage I was blessed with a son when I was in my early 50's. He is 21 and just became a father himself. He was important enough to me that I quit my 3 pack a day smoke habit. I want to live as long as I can stay active and functional. I have been very clear with my son "When my time comes let me go. Do not let them keep me around simply because Medical Science can keep me breathing and needing care".
and even older. As long as we feel relatively healthy and our minds are sharp or pretty sharp, our age never seems to be that old. Heck I am always telling my daughter about the old lady I play bridge with or the old couple at church. She will ask me how old and I will say, well at least 85. There was a time when I would say 75; now that I have passed that, it isn't old. I think young people do not understand this.
I talk about the "old" people too. To me they are. To me, I am not. Isn't it funny that "old" seems to always be about 15 years older than we are?
I didn't understand all this when I was a lot younger so I don't expect young people now to understand either. It just is...but I'm sure glad I've made it this far. So far.
Thanks guys. I'm between jobs right now so I went and spent a couple of hours with mom and dad having coffee and listening to him complain about Barack Obama.
We're so used to a long lifespan these days that we forgot how to deal with death. 70 years old is a very, very long life. We've no idea how lucky to make it to these ages nowadays.
I have to disagree. 70 doesn't seem all that old to me. In actuality, the human body is designed to live much longer than 70. But so many things can alter that lifespan: disease, accidents, poor habits, bad genetics, etc. And I know many, many people that are 68-75-ish who are not close to being old -- they don't look it and certainly don't act it. I just turned 40, so I am not saying all this because I am at that age.
And if you consider living to be 70 a very, very long life, what do you consider just a long life?
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