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Old 01-20-2008, 05:11 AM
 
167 posts, read 257,890 times
Reputation: 302

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Have you ever felt like you aren't home anymore? I really can't explain it except to say that I have lived here for almost 15 years and in this house for almost 11 years, and I feel trapped. I'm not happy anymore. I have been looking into relocating to North Carolina. My son says lets go...he's 16 and has always wanted to move, so what's keeping me here? My mom made the comment that this is just a mid-life crisses and that it will pass. I don't know about that... I have never really been happy here, but my family is within 30 mins. give or take. I love my parents and sibblings, but I don't talk to them on a daily basis (or even weekly basis), and I only see my parents/family when something special is going on...I have moved several times in my life and have moved as far away as TN, so it's not the move that is bothering me, its my mom's comment...

Is this really a mid-life crisses??? I don't feel depressed, just unhappy. I'm not happy in this house, and I'm not happy in my job. I struggle to make it here, so... What exactly is a mid-life crisses suppose to be like? I'm not sure that I know the signs, if there are signs, of one. Has anyone ever felt like this before and what did you do about it?

Thanks Lisa
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Old 01-20-2008, 07:56 AM
 
Location: In a house
21,956 posts, read 24,208,265 times
Reputation: 15030
I'm sorry about the way you are feeling right now. I am no Dr. but a mid-life crisses? I personally don't think that is it. Hey, you only have one life to live and if your son wants to move too I'd go for it. Be happy!! And if it is a mid-life crisses what can it hurt to have a little adventure?! Life is to short to stay where you and your son are not be happy. It's not like you couldn't move back. So many people blame mid-life crisses on to many things when many times it is not the answer. Your mother probably would like you to be around the family and is hopiing it is a mid-life crisses and will pass....but meantime, for you and your son to be unhappy, I think I would definately consider a change!! Just my personal opinion!! Feel better.
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Old 01-20-2008, 09:01 AM
 
Location: Long Beach, CA
2,071 posts, read 11,990,853 times
Reputation: 1811
Take a risk and have some fun and an adventure. Your 16 year old son is willing to move, that's good. He'll make new friends, and as our children get older, WE make new friends; it's so much easier as our new friends aren't as busy with raising small children, going to soccer, baseball, scouts, etc. It's our time now.

Go for it and let us know !!!!!!!!
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Old 01-20-2008, 09:02 AM
 
Location: beautiful North Carolina
7,573 posts, read 10,589,337 times
Reputation: 5513
Hi Lisa,

I believe a relocation at times may be exactly what the Dr. ordered. My husband and I were feeling the same way this year and we listed our home in NJ in August, have buyers and are moving to NC in March with our 8 and 10 year old. Fresh start, less expenses, better quality of life I believe...I say go for it! Jeannie

Last edited by jeannie216; 01-20-2008 at 05:29 PM..
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Old 01-20-2008, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Denver
4,564 posts, read 10,926,945 times
Reputation: 3946
Even if it is a mid life "crisis" - who cares? I'm not sure why a need to change things at a certain time in your life is a "crisis". Maybe it's just an awakening - finally figuring out who you are and what you really want in life.
Crisis or no crisis - you have a son willing to make the change with you. Why not? Go into it with the thought that if it ends up not working out, you never would have known if you hadn't tried. Ten years from now do you still want to be where you are now and possibly still unhappy?
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Old 01-20-2008, 05:20 PM
 
167 posts, read 257,890 times
Reputation: 302
Thanks to all of you who posted. I really am not happy here and feel the need to move. My son is ready now. Thanks for your support and thoughts, I feel so much better. I know that my mom wants me to stay close, but I just have the feeling that something better is waiting for me in NC. When she said the mid-life crisses statement, it made me feel like something was wrong with me. Like maybe my thinking was a little off or something. Thanks for your encouragement and I'll let you know when I'm ready to move. I have a lot to do. I'm excited for the first time in a very long time.
Thanks, Lisa
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Old 01-21-2008, 05:46 AM
 
5,004 posts, read 15,305,093 times
Reputation: 2505
Midlife Crisis, Stress and Depression

Quote:
'Midlife Crisis' is something that happens to many of us at some point during our lives (usually, at about 40, give or take 20 years).

Midlife Crisis is a natural process (first identified by the psychologist Carl Jung) and it is a normal part of 'maturing'. However, Midlife Crisis can sometimes feel very uncomfortable, and cause people to seek psychotherapy or counselling, or to make radical lifestyle changes that can be very damaging and are regretted later
Okay, your mom may be correct after reading about it, but so what? It occurs naturally, and so if it is natural, then the solution is to listen to your feelings and move. If you are not happy with your move return. Maybe a midlife crisis is what my DH and I had when we moved from CA to MS, and then to FL, and then to Texas, and finally back to CA. I am glad that we did all of those things because it was enjoyable. Now we made our final home in OK, and it is good that the urge to move has left, because now we are getting alot older and moving is tiring.
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Old 01-21-2008, 06:38 AM
 
Location: In a house
21,956 posts, read 24,208,265 times
Reputation: 15030
Quote:
Originally Posted by gracie07 View Post
Thanks to all of you who posted. I really am not happy here and feel the need to move. My son is ready now. Thanks for your support and thoughts, I feel so much better. I know that my mom wants me to stay close, but I just have the feeling that something better is waiting for me in NC. When she said the mid-life crisses statement, it made me feel like something was wrong with me. Like maybe my thinking was a little off or something. Thanks for your encouragement and I'll let you know when I'm ready to move. I have a lot to do. I'm excited for the first time in a very long time.
Thanks, Lisa
That's what I like to hear--you are excited! Life should be exciting and adventerous. My husband and I just moved 3,000 miles---mid-life crisses? Hmmm, maybe but I don't think so. We should listen to our minds/hearts. Like I already said....you can always move back if you want to!! Nothing has to be forever. Stay excited and enjoy your life!!
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Old 01-21-2008, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Wherabouts Unknown!
7,841 posts, read 18,934,640 times
Reputation: 9584
Putting your time and energy into a relocation may be just what the doctor ordered. Will it solve all your problems and make you totally happy? Probably not. At least it didn't work that way for me. What it provided was a pleasant change of scenery so to speak, which moved me beyond the daily routines that imprisoned me. From a different perspective I was able to more clearly see the deeper issues related to my unhappiness. My insights have given me specific issues to address. By dealing with these previously hidden issues, I find my happiness beginning to emerge, but it is an ongoing process. Making a 2000 mile relocation was a powerful catalyst for me.
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