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Old 05-17-2016, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,134 posts, read 22,107,592 times
Reputation: 35503

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kevxu View Post
You handed me a good laugh. Your remark made think of a parade of people dancing with rutabagas, lobster Newburg, sushi, maracujŠ fruit....and an endless number of things they are not used to having.


My mother occasionally uses a cane. It would never occurred to me in a million years to break out into song
and dance. But I'm not very theatrical and fairly klutzy anyway so...

I'm a bit surprised that every single person the OP knows engages in this behavior. I'll have to pay more attention- I'd expect to be seeing a lot of this dancing around if it's that common.
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Old 05-17-2016, 01:27 PM
 
9,454 posts, read 15,010,253 times
Reputation: 15406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelassie View Post
I've never seen anyone "dancing"with a cane when asked to hold it for someone who uses a cane. And I certainly have never done so when asked to hold a cane. But if it gets you so bent out of shape as your posts would indicate when someone does that when you ask them to hold your cane so you can use both hands, why don't you look into investing in a cane that will stand alone when you aren't using it so you don't have to ask your companion to hold it?

Of course how you react to your described scenario is your decision, but IMO life is much too short to go looking for things to be offended about, especially when no offense was intended. But one of those canes with "feet" would likely circumvent your problem here.






Quad Canes | 4 Prong Canes | Canes with Four Feet | Fashionablecanes.com

https://www.hurrycane.com/?AspxAutoD...ookieSupport=1


I think I've already done that-----go back to post #1
I've recently discovered a way to get around the problem. I found a little attachment for the bottom of the cane, a 4-pronged "base" of sorts. Not only does it provide greater stability, it can stand alone so I don't have to ask a companion to hold it for a few seconds! Now the same people who acted put out to actually touch the thing look somewhat confused when I just let it stand there instead of asking for them to help. I've even had "friends" grab the cane, while not necessary, and start the whole routine. I just say what are you doing that for? Well, I was just trying to help.....help with what? How does making an a$$ of themselves "help" anything"?
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Old 05-17-2016, 01:35 PM
 
9,454 posts, read 15,010,253 times
Reputation: 15406
Quote:
Originally Posted by kevxu View Post
You handed me a good laugh. Your remark made think of a parade of people dancing with rutabagas, lobster Newburg, sushi, maracujŠ fruit....and an endless number of things they are not used to having.


Maybe the thing to do is get a cane shaped like a banana---

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFDOI24RRAE
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:34 PM
 
12,913 posts, read 19,787,452 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
I think I've already done that-----go back to post #1
I've recently discovered a way to get around the problem. I found a little attachment for the bottom of the cane, a 4-pronged "base" of sorts. Not only does it provide greater stability, it can stand alone so I don't have to ask a companion to hold it for a few seconds! Now the same people who acted put out to actually touch the thing look somewhat confused when I just let it stand there instead of asking for them to help. I've even had "friends" grab the cane, while not necessary, and start the whole routine. I just say what are you doing that for? Well, I was just trying to help.....help with what? How does making an a$$ of themselves "help" anything"?
My mother uses a cane, as do many of her friends. I have never seen what you are alluding to. But if I did, I'd politely applaud their dancing effort. Surely this is a one time thing, right? They don't do a song and dance every single time? In the overall scheme of things, this is nothing more than your being very sensitive to your disability, while your friends aren't. Which is a good thing, because it means they don't consider it a big deal. Nobody wants to be known for what they cannot do, correct?
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:36 PM
 
9,454 posts, read 15,010,253 times
Reputation: 15406
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post


My mother occasionally uses a cane. It would never occurred to me in a million years to break out into song
and dance. But I'm not very theatrical and fairly klutzy anyway so...

I'm a bit surprised that every single person the OP knows engages in this behavior. I'll have to pay more attention- I'd expect to be seeing a lot of this dancing around if it's that common.


Interesting.....except we don't both know the same people! The majority of people I know/interact with do this little dance routine. That doesn't mean everyone you interact with does the same thing!
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:44 PM
 
9,454 posts, read 15,010,253 times
Reputation: 15406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
My mother uses a cane, as do many of her friends. I have never seen what you are alluding to. But if I did, I'd politely applaud their dancing effort. Surely this is a one time thing, right? They don't do a song and dance every single time? In the overall scheme of things, this is nothing more than your being very sensitive to your disability, while your friends aren't. Which is a good thing, because it means they don't consider it a big deal. Nobody wants to be known for what they cannot do, correct?


Excuse me, but I see it the exact opposite. I'm not the one reacting/overacting to the disability, I'm just being disabled. Its the "dancers" who are making an issue, therefore, they are the ones who are being "sensitive" to the disability, because they are making the issue.


Its something one might expect---but certainly not accept---from school kids. Its called "poking fun" at a disabled person. Or is that ok?


What's the big deal about just acting like an adult? All I asked is to here, hold this a second, while I juggle stuff---something we all might do if juggling several items and need a hand for a few seconds---why should a cane, or other handicapped device---be turned into an item of mockery? If, indeed, I was holding a bunch of bananas, along with other items, and needed someone to hold it for a second while I fished out my keys, would it be considered acceptable to break out into a Chiquita Banana dance?
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,134 posts, read 22,107,592 times
Reputation: 35503
Meh, if some put the bananas atop their head and danced a la Carmen Miranda I would not expect it was intended as a mockery of the banana eating public. Simply someone having fun.
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:54 PM
 
9,343 posts, read 8,735,784 times
Reputation: 14370
I would never use someone's cane to perform a song and dance routine; it wouldn't seem appropriate, plus I'd probably trip over myself and end up needing a cane myself.

OP: You are certainly entitled to your feelings! I am not sure what you could say to them, or if they would even get it.
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Old 05-17-2016, 04:21 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
8,142 posts, read 7,463,231 times
Reputation: 17039
Inappropriate behavior?

They are just having a little fun, I don't understand your vent.
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Old 05-17-2016, 05:51 PM
 
9,454 posts, read 15,010,253 times
Reputation: 15406
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
Inappropriate behavior?

They are just having a little fun, I don't understand your vent.

I guess I'll have to spell it out for you.


Most disabled people are at last somewhat self-conscious of their condition. Adjusting to being "different" is part of living with a disability. Its just plan manners and politeness NOT to go calling one out on a disability all the time. I guess its different, being on the giving end of a "joke" and the receiving end. What I find difficult to understand is otherwise well-bred, educated, dignified people who somehow think its appropriate behavior to make a$$es of themselves dancing with a handicapped assistive device in public. I guess they just don't know any better


Ok, so, folks, its NOT polite to turn a disability into a public joke! It might be "fun" for you, but not for the disabled person! Or did you ever think of that?
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