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Old 09-09-2017, 05:25 PM
 
4,794 posts, read 2,622,949 times
Reputation: 5698

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Husband has been calling around to everyone he knows in Florida because of the hurricane. He called a childhood friend who moved from NY to Venice to see what he was doing. They went targeting shooting before we moved. He knew the man had cancer but said he seemed in good spirits.

His wife answered the phone and said her husband committed suicide last July. She said he had been complaining that he was in extreme pain from the cancer and that nothing doctors did was relieving it. He had also been diagnosed with Dementia 6 months ago. One day while his wife was out shopping, he took one of his guns and shot himself in the head. My husband is devastated to hear this.

My SIL died last June from Dementia. In her early stages she was always complaining of being in pain and that her doctor would not give her any meds for it. She even called my husband and asked him if he had any pain meds he could give her. He told her NO.

One of the first things my BIL and her son did was to lock up anything that could potentially be used as a weapon in the house; in their case, kitchen knives and sharp scissors. They were worried that either she could use them on herself, or on them.

Perhaps this is getting into the Politics thread, but I cannot see why in a household where someone has Dementia, family members would leave around anything that could be used as a weapon, especially guns.

My SIL was put on medication to control her aggressive behavior; same as for those I worked with in mental health. At the very least, do not leave around anything that can be used as a weapon to kill either themselves, or others. That is just common sense if medications aren't to be used.
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Old 09-09-2017, 06:00 PM
 
Location: Swiftwater, PA
10,365 posts, read 8,802,862 times
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I am sorry to hear about your friend's death.

That said I wish that our state would allow physician assisted suicide like these six states: https://euthanasia.procon.org/view.r...ourceID=000132. While you want to take the means away from people in pain and suffering; why not help them? Your friend was smart enough to know his time was limited and he did not want to end his life in pain. This is what he wanted. Of course his friends and family did not want it; but he was more than aware of the ever increasing burden he would have placed on his family and he did not want to make them also suffer. He was prepared for the end and he took advantage of an opportunity when he could.

So you want to take our guns, cars, plastic bags or whatever away from us so we have to suffer until our last breath? Not all people wish to live out their last days in pain. For those with religious convictions or beliefs; let them chose to linger forever.

Your friend is no longer suffering and that should make those that loved him happy. He went out the way he wanted to go; don't hold that against him.
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Old 09-09-2017, 10:32 PM
 
10,428 posts, read 5,340,720 times
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I'm not a gun owner, but if I was I'd keep them locked away or hidden even if I lived alone. Something about Murphy's law.
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Old 09-09-2017, 10:39 PM
 
Location: Texas
41,046 posts, read 45,331,770 times
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We've had more than a few patients that have hung themselves. So taking away the gun doesn't necessarily solve everything.
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Old 09-09-2017, 10:50 PM
 
3,187 posts, read 1,194,452 times
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Sorry to hear of this loss. Suicide is a topic widely misunderstood ...Particularly for the loved ones who are left dealing with the after math.
In times of great pain and suffering...It's not so difficult to want it to stop...Permenantly...
I get that concept. Until that understanding is examined...The questions just go on..And on.
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Old 09-10-2017, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Texas Progressive
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I'm sorry to but if I were in chronic pain that doctors could not relieve I would want the gun. There are other methods but a gun is generally effective and fast.
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Old 09-10-2017, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Santa Monica, CA
8,410 posts, read 2,760,978 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nurider2002 View Post
I'm sorry to but if I were in chronic pain that doctors could not relieve I would want the gun. There are other methods but a gun is generally effective and fast.
MANY of us don't have the gun mentality.
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Old 09-10-2017, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
11,042 posts, read 8,476,395 times
Reputation: 17480
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo48 View Post
Husband has been calling around to everyone he knows in Florida because of the hurricane. He called a childhood friend who moved from NY to Venice to see what he was doing. They went targeting shooting before we moved. He knew the man had cancer but said he seemed in good spirits.

His wife answered the phone and said her husband committed suicide last July. She said he had been complaining that he was in extreme pain from the cancer and that nothing doctors did was relieving it. He had also been diagnosed with Dementia 6 months ago. One day while his wife was out shopping, he took one of his guns and shot himself in the head. My husband is devastated to hear this.

My SIL died last June from Dementia. In her early stages she was always complaining of being in pain and that her doctor would not give her any meds for it. She even called my husband and asked him if he had any pain meds he could give her. He told her NO.

One of the first things my BIL and her son did was to lock up anything that could potentially be used as a weapon in the house; in their case, kitchen knives and sharp scissors. They were worried that either she could use them on herself, or on them.

Perhaps this is getting into the Politics thread, but I cannot see why in a household where someone has Dementia, family members would leave around anything that could be used as a weapon, especially guns.

My SIL was put on medication to control her aggressive behavior; same as for those I worked with in mental health. At the very least, do not leave around anything that can be used as a weapon to kill either themselves, or others. That is just common sense if medications aren't to be used.
Your SIL may not have had the same type of dementia. She may not have been in the same stage. The friend was also battling cancer.

Anything can be used as a way to kill one's self. A rope, bed sheet, belt, blanket all can be wrapped around your neck to kill you. You can jump in front of a moving vehicle.

Many people want to leave the earth on their terms. That's what the friend did. Unless you're him or in his immediate family, you don't really know what was happening in the day to day part of life. Don't judge someone for committing suicide.
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Old 09-10-2017, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Swiftwater, PA
10,365 posts, read 8,802,862 times
Reputation: 6802
There is one point I also want to make. I am sorry if I sounded cold in my response. I am also very sorry for the OP's loss. I just cannot understand how people know what other's feel. All of us are individuals and have different tolerances for pain. About a month ago I passed a kidney stone about three sixteenth of an inch in diameter and about a half inch long. If I had to live out my life in that pain; I would have finished myself off right then; but I knew that it would pass when that stone finally decided to move. I have no idea how much pain people are in while dying of cancer and I do not want to condemn them because they feel it isn't worth the extra time on earth. I just wish that more states would allow us to pick our onw time.
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Old 09-10-2017, 05:39 PM
 
14,094 posts, read 14,077,421 times
Reputation: 19101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo48 View Post
Husband has been calling around to everyone he knows in Florida because of the hurricane. He called a childhood friend who moved from NY to Venice to see what he was doing. They went targeting shooting before we moved. He knew the man had cancer but said he seemed in good spirits.

His wife answered the phone and said her husband committed suicide last July. She said he had been complaining that he was in extreme pain from the cancer and that nothing doctors did was relieving it. He had also been diagnosed with Dementia 6 months ago. One day while his wife was out shopping, he took one of his guns and shot himself in the head. My husband is devastated to hear this.

My SIL died last June from Dementia. In her early stages she was always complaining of being in pain and that her doctor would not give her any meds for it. She even called my husband and asked him if he had any pain meds he could give her. He told her NO.

One of the first things my BIL and her son did was to lock up anything that could potentially be used as a weapon in the house; in their case, kitchen knives and sharp scissors. They were worried that either she could use them on herself, or on them.

Perhaps this is getting into the Politics thread, btut I cannot see why in a household where someone has Dementia, family members would leave around anything that could be used as a weapon, especially guns.

My SIL was put on medication to control her aggressive behavior; same as for those I worked with in mental health. At the very least, do not leave around anything that can be used as a weapon to kill either themselves, or others. That is just common sense if medications aren't to be used.
Short of strapping someone to a bed and doing a drug IV, pretty much anything in a house can be a weapon.
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