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Old 12-19-2017, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Alaska
532 posts, read 439,299 times
Reputation: 2151

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zone Read View Post
In my lifetime of 56 years, I've seen plenty of guys who aren't great looking that found their match. You seem to feel from having been platonically involved with a few woman who were shallow enough to tell you that looks were so important that you're doomed forever.

Ridiculous.

As someone said above, every pot has a lid. I guarantee you that there are women out there that would date you, have a great time with you and even be intimate with you. First thing you need to do is get therapy to overcome this lack of confidence. Second, do what you can to improve yourself physically. Exercise and get in shape. Third, work on your grooming. Get a new hairstyle, improve your wardrobe, wear a different cologne. Then report back.

see above....Great Advice


In my 58yrs..These are some things I have done


I was a fat child, round Charlie Brown head and face


High testosterone?? take it to the gym and put on some muscle


Facial features - grow a little facial hair to blend or hide, smile.


now that I'm older..Bald head (which is linked to testosterone) Trim beard and rest of hair very short


Glasses , go to contacts or Lasik


As said above...dress sharp
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Old 12-19-2017, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
13,824 posts, read 29,803,582 times
Reputation: 14418
Just rub it out all the time.

It will eventually get tired, and you'll need to do it less and less. And the immense craving for women will wane.
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Old 12-19-2017, 03:41 PM
 
52 posts, read 41,841 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by WSPHXPELON View Post
Get a decent job,You will find a woman who values you for the traits you have, both as a provider and otherwise. Then it won't matter if you're ugly as dogcrap, some women just want to be provided for and cared for.

How is this any different from having a live in prostitute? FYI, I have a good job in the growing field of commercial real-estate and make very decent money.

If a women is secretly disgusted by how I look, but has sex in order to gold dig, she would most likely use the situation to secretly support herself/and her "real" partner (a poor but physically attractive guy who she actually WANTS and DESIRES to have sex with). As I stated earlier I would rather remain alone than pay a woman to be with me!

If a woman is physically disgusted by me but simply sees me as a means to an end--Money--Is that a genuine relationship built on love/affection? No. As I said before, I do not simply seek sex (not into prostitutes), but I seek a real relationship built on love, affection, and mutual attraction (which appears impossible for me!)
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Old 12-19-2017, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,218,718 times
Reputation: 50368
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdeville21 View Post
How is this any different from having a live in prostitute? FYI, I have a good job in the growing field of commercial real-estate and make very decent money.

If a women is secretly disgusted by how I look, but has sex in order to gold dig, she would most likely use the situation to secretly support herself/and her "real" partner (a poor but physically attractive guy who she actually WANTS and DESIRES to have sex with). As I stated earlier I would rather remain alone than pay a woman to be with me!

If a woman is physically disgusted by me but simply sees me as a means to an end--Money--Is that a genuine relationship built on love/affection? No. As I said before, I do not simply seek sex (not into prostitutes), but I seek a real relationship built on love, affection, and mutual attraction (which appears impossible for me!)
You might be surprised that there are some women for whom "conventional" good looks in a man are not required. ...but that would require you to get a large chip off your shoulder. In general, women are not QUITE so hung up on getting a guy who physically rates a '10'. Now, if you'll also fault her for having other requirements to make up for that lacking, then you'll end up ruling out pretty much all women - and that will be all on you.

The question is, are YOU willing to date a less attractive woman who may be less likely to be the dreaded "gold digger"? If you require an "8" or above then you'll need to be okay with a gold digger and need to make a lot of money to get her.

Relationships are a negotiation and your value depends on ....your value to women. If you don't have looks, what else do you have to offer?
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Old 12-19-2017, 04:15 PM
 
52 posts, read 41,841 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post

The question is, are YOU willing to date a less attractive woman who may be less likely to be the dreaded "gold digger"?
I would/have been willing to date any woman who was a decent person with a good personality regardless of looks. I wouldn't care about a woman's looks as long as she found ME physically attractive which appears to be impossible--I would very depressed to be intimate with a woman who was turned off/disgusted by my looks but was having pity sex--I could not bring myself to be intimate with any woman who looks at me with repulsion.

Society is what labels women as either hot or not---For me personally I am attracted to qualities such as sense of humor, personality, kindness. A thoughtful caring woman is what I consider a beautiful woman.

Unfortunately what society considers to be "less attractive women" have found me as just as physically repulsive & unattractive as what mainstream "popular culture" consider to be "" hot 10s."

So, yes, I would HAPPILY be willing to "date a less attractive woman." (Though I find just about any woman with a good CHARACTER to be BEAUTIFUL)
That being said, what makes you think that popular cultures idea of "less attractive" women don't have needs when it comes to physical attraction, or are any less forgiving when it comes to a guy's looks? Guess what they have needs too! To think otherwise is simply inconsiderate of a woman's obvious/logical need for physical attraction to have sex.

The only advice my platonic lady friends have given me on this subject is that an ugly guy should learn to forget about intimacy and be content with keeping female friendships platonic. How I might do this is the subject of this thread.
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Old 12-19-2017, 05:42 PM
 
52 posts, read 41,841 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post

If you don't have looks, what else do you have to offer?
As I said earlier,I am known to be a good conversationalist, listener, and despite the depression over my looks a good sense of humor. Hence why I have/have had MANY platonic friendships with both men and women.

I once asked a girl who rejected me if she gave any consideration to a homely guy who could compromise with intelligence,personality, and humor she responding by saying; " gals don't disregard the emphasis on looks since they want both looks + positive qualities/traits in a sexual/romantic partner otherwise they could have a friend if they just wanted the positive qualities/traits." She then said "girls tend to want to have sex with those they find attractive otherwise it can be quite unpleasant and unhealthy".

She continued by saying that an ugly guy should learn to forget about intimacy and be content with keeping female friendships platonic.

Every other girl I have ever asked out has turned me down with some variation of the above speech.

Some were nice about it and tried to let me down easily, others were harsh and mean, still others were completely indifferent to my plight.Many looked upon me with genuine pity.

This is why I am trying to permanently eliminate my desire for sexual intimacy.

Last edited by cdeville21; 12-19-2017 at 06:44 PM..
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Old 12-19-2017, 06:08 PM
 
3,211 posts, read 2,949,988 times
Reputation: 14632
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdeville21 View Post
She continued by saying that an ugly guy should learn to forget about intimacy and be content with keeping female friendships platonic.
It's almost like you're completely making this stuff up as you go.
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Old 12-19-2017, 06:34 PM
 
52 posts, read 41,841 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by oldgardener View Post
It's almost like you're completely making this stuff up as you go.
How do I benefit from "making this stuff up as I go?"

I have opened up here because I prefer to express myself only within the anonymity of online rather than in RL. My friends and family are aware of my plight, yet recognize that this is a very painful and embarrassing topic to discuss. They have chosen to respect my privacy.

Yes, I am venting a bit, simply because I wish to impart the severity of my predicament, in hopes that some here may be compelled to offer advice, or possibly a solution.

I do wish others would have more compassion for those in an unfortunate situation.

Many Thanks to those who have responded with sincerity. Your compassion is much appreciated.
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Old 12-19-2017, 07:07 PM
 
6,438 posts, read 6,875,122 times
Reputation: 8739
There was a girl in Starbucks tonight who I thought was conventionally unattractive (heavy, punky hairdo), but oddly appealing in that she was confident and funny. Being the pervert that I am, my first thought was "I'll bet she is a tiger in bed." Her. Ask her out.
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Old 12-19-2017, 07:07 PM
 
3,211 posts, read 2,949,988 times
Reputation: 14632
There was a sub on Reddit called incels. Maybe they could help you, they have a lot of experience in this kind of thing.

I think they may have been disbanded though.
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