The language might be confusing in some parts, I just wrote it and I didn't correct much ...
Those days I have been searching for information about hsv1 a lot , and in USA it was told half of the people have it ...
The funny thing is in other nations, like China, around 70% of kids have it, 90% of the adults have the hsv1 igg positive , and for people aged 40, 100% people have it, ( one main reason is the food sharing habit), and a lot don't show any symptoms, and it is not an issue at all in China, we deal with it like cold flu,...it is really not even a thing we will discuss much... and even people we get pregnant won't get test for hsv1 igg( means antibody, infected before), only the igm( the virus is present) will be tested...for me, honestly , whether HSV1 is positive or not does nothing different to me, anyways I will have it , 100% for people aged 40, and to have the antibody might be a better thing, at least the chance I get genital herpes from HSV1 is smaller, and plus I don't have any symptoms...but surely I wish I could be negative, just because of my bf...
Recently I am dating an American guy and he talked about STDs( surely he was worried I might have any STDS), so I did a full panel STD test and found I have hsv1 igg positive, I never has had cold sore as far as I remember, the only thing I was worried is whether it will be contagious( as so many people have it), I then talked with my best friend in China, who is a doctor in a very good hospital, and she investigated it and talked with other doctors and told me if it was just igg positive, it should not be contagious...but after I told my bf I had hsv1 positive, I can sense he is so scared and he even avoided kissing me, which is reasonable. he told me he would get himself tested and to see what the doctor will suggest, but certainly it affects our relationship, I was kinda sad about this, as he is the kind of man I want , the best man I have ever met, with the best personality, and our relationship was going pretty well, we called each other Perfect , while, I certainly won't be with someone who don’t accept me, even if I have to end up being alone forever... so I get stressed a lot assuming that we are going to break up, but honestly, In my country it is not a thing, we won't even talk about it , so at the first days I told him about the hsv1, my bf's reaction made very disappointed and even angry and i even asked him to find someone healthy, he said the virus wouldn't end his life or disable him and asked me not to worry about it, I was offended and mad when I saw " end life" , it was a serious word, if it were me one year ago, I already quit from the relationship...now I try to calm down and be less emotional to let the other do decisions..
but now I understand him as a lot of people take it very seriously. So everyone is right in his/her own perspectives, I was confused because in my culture it was as small as a normal cough, but to him , it might be very serious( incurable herpes), it is also kinda a culture thing too. So dating with people from different cultures is very challenging...When I told this to my best friends in China, they all couldn't understand why my bf could take it so seriously and think it is a ridiculous behavior( which I did the same at the beginning ) ...even one of my best friend's daughter now is having blister in her mouth ( only 1 and half years old), I was kidding to my friend, please dont tell her that she might get dumped in future because now she is having blisters ...
People here get panic about it so much, I guess also because a lot of people here get genital herpes because of HSV1,
Reason 1, less kids have exposed the virus here, and they don’t have the antibody when they grow up, so when they grow up, they get genital herpes through oral sex,
Reason 2, sex is much open here, I am 30, and my generation, a lot of us never have had sex in high sex, me, I had never had a date before high school, and a lot of us are the same in my generation, a lot of my friends just have had sex with the same man and got married, it would be the case to me if I didn't come here in USA, my ex and I broke up after I stayed here for 3 years ..
I did an estimation ( might be not right), since half of the people here have hsv1( possibility 1/2), and 1/4 have had STDS( I found this data and it doesn't consider hsv1 a STD,
https://www.stdtestexpress.com/std-facts/, some are cured, here it is only used who have had, since it is much more serious than hsv1, even a less number can be equal to the 1/4 in terms of hsv1 ), but remember that there are hundreds or thousands of other diseases existing in human being, here I make an estimation that 1/8 ( of course might not be accurate, maybe higher) have other disease that can be equally serious as hsv1, so the chance you met someone without any STD OR HSV1 or one kind of disease equal to HSV1 is: 1-(1/2+1/4+1/8)-1/2*1/4-1/2*1/8-1/4*1/8+[(1/2*1/4*1/8)*2]=1-11/16=31.25%...and if you are dating someone you think is very good, you guys have Chemistry and are also compatible and are looking for something same, like my bf and I , we are looking for someone to get married, and we met each other online, anyways I met kinda 30 people and he is the only one that I like and also it is compatible after 5 months date, so for me the chance here is 1/30 for each date, let's say that i am picky, and others can have a higher chance of 1/20 ( for online date only ), then the chance meeting another one that don't have hsv1+STD+other equally disease as hsv1 is 0.3125*(1/20)=1.56% for each date, that is to say 64 people...so you have to meet another 64 people that you will get someone the same as now( who you think is perfect) , which is the case for me and my bf, also a lot of them may lie to you or don't know they have hsv1 or other more serious STD, in the end it might turn out more problems...I like my bf a lot, and the best one I have ever met, as I love his personality and smiles, so I am thinking to find a way...otherwise i just forget about it, as who wants to be treated as someone scary , or avoided by someone you like...
but if it is someone you don't like much, then probably the hsv1 is just an extra reason for breaking up...
But honestly for me, since the HSV1 is so common, later on, people will probably have it, I would take the risk if mine were negative and my bf were positive, my ex in china is a Hepatitis B carrier ( 1 out of 9 have it), when he told me , I didnt mind , and luckily I didn't get contagious from him...
I of course don't expect him to do the same thing for me, and I hope he will be OK after his test, but we kissed a lot...
Thanks
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