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Old 01-08-2018, 01:42 PM
 
Location: New Mexico
4,293 posts, read 2,397,626 times
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Is this common?
I have a friend, age 60, who is recently retired after having 3 heart attacks in about four months. He has multiple stents but no need to carry meds with him according to the doctor. He is a "Type A" person with some ongoing anger issues and can't seem to relax. He is married and comments about how his wife will get on after he dies. He is selling off some of his "toys" like a large RV and off-road vehicle. He occasionally has some chest and back pain but says he is "watching it" and it can't be his heart because he has the stents. At the same time he confides in me that he is having pains (doesn't share that with his wife) and "almost" went to the emergency room. He gets angry if you tell him to relax or that "almost" going to the doctor isn't going to help.


I think I'm seeing a change in his attitude -- resigned to an early demise rather than making an effort to regain his health. Is this a common "phase" or attitude for men with serious heart problems? Maybe I'm over-reacting but it seems unlike him to give up on this when he is competitive and pretty much in control previously.
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Old 01-08-2018, 02:08 PM
 
866 posts, read 403,404 times
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Has he had cardiac rehab? If not, maybe that could help him gain a better attitude.
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Old 01-08-2018, 02:12 PM
 
Location: Bloomington, IL
11,545 posts, read 5,952,312 times
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He probably doesn't like the doctor "telling him what to do" so rather than take action himself just alternates between lashing out and bottling it up. You're right that he could compete against himself and take some steps that might help but it doesn't sound like he's quite there yet. 60 is awfully young to have had 3 heart attacks!
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Old 01-08-2018, 05:21 PM
 
Location: USA, love-it or leave-it Baby!!!!
13,958 posts, read 14,125,730 times
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Improvement in health is possible, no matter what the condition. But the hard part, for many people, is making the changes that will do them so much good.
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Old 01-09-2018, 09:53 AM
 
Location: New Mexico
4,293 posts, read 2,397,626 times
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He ended up in the emergency room this week and a night as a guest at the hospital so maybe that got his attention.
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Old 01-09-2018, 03:08 PM
 
4,203 posts, read 10,015,976 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunGrins View Post
He ended up in the emergency room this week and a night as a guest at the hospital so maybe that got his attention.
If the 3 previous heart attacks and multiple stents didn't get his attention, it is unlikely an overnight stay in the ED will do the trick.

People do what people do and most changes have to come from within....in this day and age everyone knows what they "should do" but if everyone did what the "should" there wouldn't be an epidemic of obesity, no one would smoke, everyone would exercise etc....
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Old 01-10-2018, 08:54 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
24,473 posts, read 15,798,015 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedevilz View Post
If the 3 previous heart attacks and multiple stents didn't get his attention, it is unlikely an overnight stay in the ED will do the trick.

People do what people do and most changes have to come from within....in this day and age everyone knows what they "should do" but if everyone did what the "should" there wouldn't be an epidemic of obesity, no one would smoke, everyone would exercise etc....
Yeah, that ^^^^.

I always wonder if people like that are passively suicidal.
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Old 01-10-2018, 09:03 AM
Status: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" (set 22 days ago)
 
Location: North Beach, MD on the Chesapeake
30,299 posts, read 36,689,878 times
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I had a cardiac misadventure last May which garnered me 4 stents. Did the cardiac rehab although I'm not exercising as much as I should be right now mostly because of the weather.

I have not changed my behavior too much, my diet wasn't bad before, not overweight, not diabetic but I'm having a difficult time with quitting smoking.

Having said the above, I'm continuing doing much of what I did before simply because of my father in law. He had a heart attack at 53 or so, had what I consider very poor after care and advice from both his cardiologist and primary doctor (which I said at the time 30 years ago, it isn't an insight from my recent adventure). As a result he quit doing anything, even driving, and sat around waiting to die for 20 years. Which he eventually did.

As a note, I'll be 64 in June.
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Old 01-10-2018, 09:50 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
8,644 posts, read 5,776,411 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Yeah, that ^^^^.

I always wonder if people like that are passively suicidal.
I think it may be more of a state of denial that comes over them. That and inertia, ie, taking the path of least resistance. It takes a lot of energy and resolve to start on, and continue down that path (exercise, diet, not smoking, etc.) to one's own optimum health.
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