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Old 03-13-2018, 07:02 AM
 
1,271 posts, read 554,703 times
Reputation: 1314

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jacqueg View Post
As a woman, I am very puzzled by this remark.

If you don't want to do "it" and don't care any more, why are you hunting for action?

There's plenty of entertaining things to do other than actively searching for an opportunity to do what you don't want to do.
I'm guessing he misses how it used to feel to be on the hunt. and I doubt any of those other entertaining things compare.

A had an ex with no sex drive and was up front about it, telling me if I wanted it I would have to initiate because she never would. and it bothered her that she had no drive or craving for it even though she always really enjoyed it once the action started. and she said she had always been that way and the only time she ever craved sex was when she was pregnant both times(she had 2 grown kids by her late husband).
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Old 03-13-2018, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,346 posts, read 25,396,058 times
Reputation: 19550
I have the same problem. Lack of interest in sex. Oh not from me. I have plenty of interest in sex. My wife on the other hand is done with it. I am 52 year old male and have no problems at all with the parts working as they should. For the past few years she has been asking me when guys stop wanting it. I jokingly told her when they are 150 years old the desire finally wears off. She did not like my answer.

Everything else is going fine in our life. We have had an awesome marriage. Built an awesome family.

I for one have not been with hundreds of people. I have been with one person and that person has been with me. Can't imagine taking a spin in a car only one time. So many features to try out. It would take me a lot of trips before I had a chance to figure out all the features.

The sad part for me is that my wife sees no problem with how things are turning out. She figures that since she is in her late 40's and since we had a pretty good run that things are good the way they are. Yes she is going thru some changes in her body. She has been for some time now.
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Old 03-13-2018, 08:51 AM
 
Location: Old Hippie Heaven
15,811 posts, read 6,916,870 times
Reputation: 8927
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE View Post
I have the same problem. Lack of interest in sex. Oh not from me. I have plenty of interest in sex. My wife on the other hand is done with it. I am 52 year old male and have no problems at all with the parts working as they should. For the past few years she has been asking me when guys stop wanting it. I jokingly told her when they are 150 years old the desire finally wears off. She did not like my answer.

Everything else is going fine in our life. We have had an awesome marriage. Built an awesome family.

I for one have not been with hundreds of people. I have been with one person and that person has been with me. Can't imagine taking a spin in a car only one time. So many features to try out. It would take me a lot of trips before I had a chance to figure out all the features.

The sad part for me is that my wife sees no problem with how things are turning out. She figures that since she is in her late 40's and since we had a pretty good run that things are good the way they are. Yes she is going thru some changes in her body. She has been for some time now.
I agree with you that this is sad. As a 70-yo female, I am still interested. But it doesn't drive my life the way it used to, and I am really glad it doesn't. Because I did some damned stupid things!

You know your own marriage best. Still, if you were asking my advice, I'd tell you that it is common for women to think that men are "interested in only one thing". I'm not saying that's true of you, in fact it seems evident to me that you don't feel that way. Just that it may not be so evident to her.
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Old 03-13-2018, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Jax Beaches
1,657 posts, read 2,755,200 times
Reputation: 1645
Quote:
Originally Posted by LKJ1988 View Post
Is there anything over the counter that would work? I don't have Ins and have not seen a doc since 1990. Just noticed a drop off the last 6 years and now i have no wish or drive at all to do anything.

Want to be 19 again.
Nobody can give you any advice with such little information. Go see a doctor, and don't take advice from strangers on the internet for your pee pee problems. That's my advice.

SS
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Old 03-13-2018, 11:11 AM
 
Location: Looking for a forever home
2,234 posts, read 727,991 times
Reputation: 3728
Quote:
Originally Posted by jacqueg View Post
But it doesn't drive my life the way it used to, and I am really glad it doesn't. Because I did some damned stupid things!
Boy, me too. The sex drive can be very powerful overriding common sense. At least now I can see more clearly. To me this is the only benefit of having a lowered sex drive. But it is an important one.
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Old 03-13-2018, 11:37 AM
 
Location: New Britain, CT
566 posts, read 173,469 times
Reputation: 727
Quote:
Originally Posted by LKJ1988 View Post
54. 6.2 195lbs Not depressed or diabetic . Fit as a bull never been to a doc or even been sick in my life. Just lost the urge to do what i used to do.
I bet you are diabetic for one. You can't "feel" diabetes. You may have high blood pressure too. You can't "feel" that one either. And I'll tell you that the pills make you feel worse than not taking them, but they reduce your chances for a heart attack or stroke. You admit to not having had a physical for years. You need a colonoscopy too. Had mine on 3/2. 2 or 3 benign polyps. You should have had one when you hit 50.

I'm dealing with the same issues, and I have a physical scheduled for tomorrow. Going to request a test for the low T. Treatment for that is an injection in the butt every 2-3 months. The patch and the gel treatments are crazy expensive. Going to discuss a medication change that will take care of my BP, but also enlarged prostate which I may also have.

I'm catching up on my care because back in November, my 50yo fiance was diagnosed with a herniated disk that required surgery. The pre-op physical, on her EKG, indicated that SHE HAD HAD A HEART ATTACK. Never knew it. So instead of a back surgery November 15, she got transferred to a cardiovascular unit and instead got a triple bypass on her heart on November 18. Back surgery early December. She just went back to work 2 weeks ago. On about 6 medications for her heart, BP, diabetes, cholesterol.

Get to a doctor ASAP. If you can't afford insurance look into Medicaid through your state.
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Old 03-13-2018, 11:43 AM
 
Location: New Britain, CT
566 posts, read 173,469 times
Reputation: 727
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE View Post
I have the same problem. Lack of interest in sex. Oh not from me. I have plenty of interest in sex. My wife on the other hand is done with it. I am 52 year old male and have no problems at all with the parts working as they should. For the past few years she has been asking me when guys stop wanting it. I jokingly told her when they are 150 years old the desire finally wears off. She did not like my answer.

Everything else is going fine in our life. We have had an awesome marriage. Built an awesome family.

I for one have not been with hundreds of people. I have been with one person and that person has been with me. Can't imagine taking a spin in a car only one time. So many features to try out. It would take me a lot of trips before I had a chance to figure out all the features.

The sad part for me is that my wife sees no problem with how things are turning out. She figures that since she is in her late 40's and since we had a pretty good run that things are good the way they are. Yes she is going thru some changes in her body. She has been for some time now.
Sorry to hear. My girl (read my above post) really wants to get back at it, but she currently can't due to pain from her surgery and she is very self conscious of the 10 inch long reddish scar running down between her boobs . And my boy is mostly broken..... Hope to start changing that tomorrow.
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Old 03-13-2018, 11:55 AM
 
Location: New Britain, CT
566 posts, read 173,469 times
Reputation: 727
Quote:
Originally Posted by LKJ1988 View Post
I am only into the younger 1's and always have been. Anyone near my age is a total turn off. I like 20's to around 30.
Most millennial woman would think dating a baby boomer to be "gross". I have a 25yo and 22yo daughters.... I know. LOTS of nice available women out there in their 40's and 50's. What in common would a 54yo have with say a 27yo? To each his own I guess.
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Old 03-13-2018, 11:57 AM
 
12,933 posts, read 12,264,810 times
Reputation: 36936
Um, my father's 86 and he still gets ... excited now and then, the staff at his ALF tells me. If you've experienced a major change in libido, there's SOMETHING going on. If you don't have insurance, marshal your extra cash and get to a doctor.
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Old 03-13-2018, 12:14 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,071 posts, read 13,635,869 times
Reputation: 36700
Just reading through this thread and going through life, I'm constantly surprised by the mismatch in sex drives. It doesn't seem to matter the gender, but one mate seems to have lost it or never really had it (bait and switch) while the other suffers in silence.
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