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My brother is morbidly obese and has had several small strokes. He is 66 and he has been told by doctors most of his life that he needs to lose weight. The most recent doctor has told him that if he does not lose some weight and start exercising - just walking, and eating better foods, he will more than likely have more, and bigger strokes. He is on medicaid, section 8 and food stamps. I have no idea what will happen if he has a debilitating stroke. One thing I do know - he is not changing anything about his life at all.
He went on SS disability two years ago and is covered by Medicare (thank God) so he is getting some medical care, but now he refuses to admit he needs assisted living. My wife and I have spent the past two months traveling thousands of miles to try and sort out the mess he created and in all of it he maintains an unshakeable delusion that he will be "back on his feet" soon!
There's just no helping some people and it seems like you just can't help your brother. Sorry about your loss, but it seems that he has spent an entire life just not caring for himself and is now reaping those rewards. There are healthier 80 year olds.
The one thing that miffs me is that now I have to quite literally pay for his irresponsibility through my tax dollars. SS Disability has been abused to the breaking point and Medicare isn't solvent now and certainly won't be when I'm elderly even though I'm paying into the system. Nice gig if you can get it, but don't thank God, thank the American taxpayers who're busting their butts to provide for the irresponsible.
but it seems that he has spent an entire life just not caring for himself and is now reaping those rewards. There are healthier 80 year olds.
Some health problems are caused by self abuse, some by genetics, and some a combination of the two. Some of those 80 yr olds acquired their long life from discipline, and hard work overcoming adversities. Some got there from excellent genetics even though they broke some rules along the way. Which is he?
The alternative is to humor him and listen to his nonsensical predictions and fantasies. As I said it's driving us crazy dealing with his brand of crazy.
Weeks ago we told the hospital staff that we had concerns about his mental health. They told us their job was treating acute symptoms and unless he planned to hurt himself in the hospital, they would not intervene or request counseling.
They can, and it sounds as if they should, request a Psych Evaluation for your brother. A treatable psychiatric condition may be the underlying cause of his poor decisions.
I have a sister with similar denial of the results caused by her long-term poor health lifestyle habits. She lives in our parent's former home and is obese to the point where she cannot climb the stairs to the second floor and it's full bath, nor fit through the narrow doorway into the small first floor half-bath. She has a commode set up in the living room and relies upon friends to drop by to empty it for her.
My wife has a brother who is rapidly falling into the same category as he ages. With no spouse, no children, no home (has lived with his mother for 55 of his 58 years), no pension, and no savings (he has bank-rolled his financially reckless brother - against the insistances of all other family members - to the point of his own forced bankruptcy), he may be using his recent poor health decisions as a form of slow suicide.
The one thing that miffs me is that now I have to quite literally pay for his irresponsibility through my tax dollars. SS Disability has been abused to the breaking point and Medicare isn't solvent now and certainly won't be when I'm elderly even though I'm paying into the system. Nice gig if you can get it, but don't thank God, thank the American taxpayers who're busting their butts to provide for the irresponsible.
Just like any Insurance Plan. You pay into it planning (and hoping) you never need it. As soon as you have a family member or dear friend that suffers a catastrophic health condition, either through their own fault or unavoidable circumstances, you will be very glad this mandated insurance program exists. Without it, the cost of the afflicted's care would come from your savings.
I agree there is abuse and the abuse needs to be eliminated, but eliminating the entire program is not the solution.
Would eliminating Auto Insurance rid the roads of reckless drivers?
There's just no helping some people and it seems like you just can't help your brother. Sorry about your loss, but it seems that he has spent an entire life just not caring for himself and is now reaping those rewards. There are healthier 80 year olds.
The one thing that miffs me is that now I have to quite literally pay for his irresponsibility through my tax dollars. SS Disability has been abused to the breaking point and Medicare isn't solvent now and certainly won't be when I'm elderly even though I'm paying into the system. Nice gig if you can get it, but don't thank God, thank the American taxpayers who're busting their butts to provide for the irresponsible.
My brother worked and paid SS & FICA taxes until two years ago when he had a heart attack. He was teaching a class at a community college and passed out cold. Please save your vitriol for the people who are truly gaming the system.
My brother is morbidly obese and has had several small strokes. He is 66 and he has been told by doctors most of his life that he needs to lose weight. The most recent doctor has told him that if he does not lose some weight and start exercising - just walking, and eating better foods, he will more than likely have more, and bigger strokes. He is on medicaid, section 8 and food stamps. I have no idea what will happen if he has a debilitating stroke. One thing I do know - he is not changing anything about his life at all.
One thing that I am amazed by is that many such persons seem to exist in families. The pattern is generally about the same. They are obese. They are in bad health. They generally never acquired much in the way of education and job skills. They never married. I suspect the earnings track record of such a person over their lifetime is quite low. I would describe it as "an adult failure to thrive". Sometimes alcohol and/or drugs are at the bottom of it, but not always. Its like these people decided early on in life that they would be a failure.
It does make me wonder if a lot of this is untreated mental illness. Given how much of this is going on, I think it deserves some special consideration.
My sympathies to you and the OP. I think the family members that have to deal with this are the ones who really are entitled to our help and compassion.
I don't know what CHF and CKD might be, but they sound serious, as in life threatening.
My daughter worked on a guy last year...a doper.....who was down to one arm. They were working to save that last limb which had serious issues of its own due to necropsies of the tissue where he had been shooting up.
It was an after hours project. The guy would not stop his unhealthy behavior. Imagine, down to one arm and still would not stop.
I haven't followed up but surely the guy is dead by now. Sometimes, you just can't fix people...physically or mentally. They have to do what they have to do.
And you? You have to look out for yourself. There is nothing left to do for your brother, or other family members or friends when they are beyond help.
Sad, but just let him go and take care of yourself.
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