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Old 04-14-2018, 08:32 PM
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,965 posts, read 98,814,535 times
Reputation: 31376


Originally Posted by mkpunk View Post
The soap don't work after it is used. I have to touch the faucet to turn the faucet off unless it is a sensor. You think that germs on the handles just go away from touching it after washing? I try not to do much of that due to having a food handler's card. I try to even open doors with paper towel but let's face it, many places aren't set to do that without holding paper towels unnecessarily longwe.
No you don't. You can use a paper towel, or a piece of toilet paper if there are no paper towels available, or your elbow. You guys are making excuses. Well, not you so much, but the other two. They sure won't be any cleaner if they omit washing their hands altogether.

Old 04-14-2018, 09:26 PM
224 posts, read 67,398 times
Reputation: 70
Originally Posted by fisheye View Post
This part of the OP's original statement bothers me: "When he came over, he went to my bathroom and used the toilet. He did this few times. I have no issue with this but I'm pretty certain he did not wash his hands." It sounds more like a suspicion than actual knowledge that this person did not wash their hands. It sound paranoid.

They might be right, but if you obsess over ever suspicion; that is not healthy. It is not healthy to drive yourself nuts about things you really do not know about. You can prepare for the worse - that is taking positive action. But the worry is counter productive. I do not believe I heard if the OP has a dishwasher? Most dishwashers have heating coils that heat the dishes and utensils hot enough to sterilize them.

As a 71 year old male I have observed many other males that have not washed their hands after using the facilities. It is not always dirty looking people that do that. In country clubs many of the hotshots don't worry about washing their hands. These are the people that give you a big smile and stick out their hand when you're introduced. It is almost impossible to try to avoid each one. It pays to worry about your own hands first; wash or use disinfectant frequently and do not touch your face or rub your eyes before sanitizing.

Fine. I'm 100 percent sure he did not wash his hands after using the bathroom. You know how i know? Because my apartment is a studio apartment. There is nothing blocking anything. Thus when he uses the bathroom, he doesn't even close the door. So i could even sort of see him from his back peeing. Then after he is done, he flushes the toilet and then just comes back pretty quickly. My apartment is a very small studio apartment. If he did turn on the sink water, i would have heard it because i would have heard it. He done this few times already before this. Also when im at his apartment and he has to go to bathroom to pee, i know 100 percent he doesn't wash his hands. You know how? Because sometimes im chatting with him right at his door inside the apartment and then he goes to bathroom... does not shut door so i could sort of see a little of him. Many times he would say keep talking im listening when hes heading to the bathroom. Thus after he is done, he doesn't wash his hands because im sort of standing right there. Few times i actually just was right there just to see if he does wash his hand or not and he never done it.

Does this make a difference? Its 100% he never washed his hand every time whether im at his apartment or he is at my apartment. There is zero doubt because i seen and hear it.

No i dont have a dishwasher.
Old 04-14-2018, 09:31 PM
Location: Buckeye, AZ
25,407 posts, read 14,492,810 times
Reputation: 9213
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
No you don't. You can use a paper towel, or a piece of toilet paper if there are no paper towels available, or your elbow. You guys are making excuses. Well, not you so much, but the other two. They sure won't be any cleaner if they omit washing their hands altogether.
Ugh, did you even read my post, I commented that I use paper towels to turn off faucets in public. You are cherry picking. In a person's house maybe my elbow unless the faucet is those gear ones that cannot be used by elbows.
Old 04-14-2018, 09:33 PM
224 posts, read 67,398 times
Reputation: 70
I do have a bottle of dial liquid for washing hands right there. Thus if he used it and washed his hands, great. If he just washed his hands great. He never did this ever. But all those times he has went to bathroom, he rarely touched some of my things. Once i did open my fridge up and he touched a few things but no big deal because those are mostly in a package. Now if he touched the water pitcher, my plates and forks and water glass etc but did not went to my bathroom, i would have no issue with it. Then again, i know he doesn't wash his hands ever. So i would be disturbed by this.

The water pitcher was on the kitchen table. It was there because he asked for some cold water and i did not have any water bottles at the apartment. Thus if i had many, then i would had no problems at all. Yes my fault for not having water bottles at that moment. Also how could i not keep a drink pitcher in plain view in the fridge. How big is your fridge? When i open my fridge, the water pitcher is right there. I mean you want me to put it behind other things? Because i drink water all the time. Thus putting it right there when you open the fridge is what most ppl do don't they?

Well he does have issues and problems and when he does, he ask me for help and advice etc. Im a very friendly guy. Thus i always help people whenever people ask for it. Thats just me.

Originally Posted by AllisonHB View Post
OP, after reading your posts about this here are a few suggestions FWIW:

Just wash the water jug or other dishes he uses with hot water/soap. That needs to get done regardless of who touches them and it does work.

Leave a can of disinfecting spray handy. After he touches your pitcher, give it a spritz (but don't do it right in front of him...that would be pretty rude!).

Don't keep a drink pitcher in plain view in your fridge....he can fill a glass with tap water and you can drop a couple of ice cubes in the glass to chill it. I know some will immediately whine that tap water tastes bad. Well, there are many faucet filters on the market to deal with all that.

Make it super simple for someone to walk out of your bathroom with relatively clean hands...put a pump bottle of no-rinse, quick drying hand sanitizer right on the counter in plain view. Many people are more likely to clean their hands if it is completely quick and simple to do so. Compared to running the water, grabbing soap, washing, using the towel takes silly moments more than a squirt of gel. I know, I know, debate rages whether hand sanitizing products do all they claim, but frankly its going to help and it may relieve YOUR anxiety.

Politely tell this guest if he shows up that you can't visit at the moment. Maybe offer to meet him someplace nearby (common area? patio? park?) other than you apartment if you really worry about him being in your space. During all the times he's visited you nothing bad has happened, right? It's worth remembering.

But, that leads me to what may be the most important tip: Realize that you are going to drive yourself batty overanalyzing this. Sounds like you are heading down that pathway already based on how concerned you are. THIS is the problem, not whether every person who walks through your door is carrying potential disease. Accept the fact that this guest isn't likely to change his habits or his view about such things. Unless you know he is carrying some communicable disease the chance that you get sick because of him is low. Do some reading about OCD and phobias about germs so you understand why this is becoming a problem for you and ways to get yourself out of that path again. The world is going to become more and more frightening for you if you don't. That is the sadder thing no one wants for you.
Old 04-14-2018, 09:39 PM
224 posts, read 67,398 times
Reputation: 70
Originally Posted by VTsnowbird View Post
If he is coming in and rummaging around in your kitchen looking for food and drink, that would bother me more than the germs. Who does that? If you really want to have him visit in your place, keep some drinks and packaged snacks handy. But if I were you I would put an end to it now. It sounds like he does not respect boundaries. People like that, in my house, make me VERY nervous.
Whenever he comes over he would sit on my futon and we chat. But then usually he has to go to the bathroom once or twice etc. Many times he would walk around and look at what i have in apartment like rice or pasta or other things etc. But it wasn't until yesterday when he wanted some thing to eat. The thing was he looked at my loaf of bread that i just bought and left it on my kitchen table. Then touched it and said you don't mind me if i help myself? So i immediately said no problem take some. This was after he already touched the water pitcher and touched the whole lid and surrounding area. Thats when he took 1 piece, he asked me for some deli meat because i was eating sandwich with deli meat. I went to my fridge and took a piece and gave it to him. Then after he was done, i said he wanted some more because he said it tasted so good. So i said dont, i will get you it... then took loaf of bread and a few pieces of deli meat and gave it to him. He said it was very good.

My issue here was when he looked at the bread and asked me if he could help himself with some, i dont have an issue with that. But i would prefer if i open the bag etc. Thus i always wash my hands and then give him the food etc. Then he took a look at my snacks that i have in apartment... like those bars. Then he ask for one. I have zero issue with this because these are in a box and each one is packaged so zero issue here.

Yea the thing was i didnt have any water bottles at the moment. Well i had 1 but i needed that water bottle. So i figure im going to get small 8 ounce cup and pour cold water. Thus if he wanted any more water i pour it myself.
Old 04-14-2018, 09:42 PM
224 posts, read 67,398 times
Reputation: 70
Originally Posted by tickyul View Post
Yuck, I do not think I would be inviting that gentleman to my place any time, ever.

Hep-A and other nasties would be a real concern for me.

What I know for a fact is he has lot of health issues. He has knee problems, headaches and lot of issues. The other thing is this. When he was younger, i found out he was a hardcore drug addict and drinker. He told me and someone else he stopped drinking over 30 years ago and no longer drinks due to it. Again i had no idea he has a hardcore drug addict when he was younger until recently. He obviously does not do any of that now anymore since he is much older guy now. But he's the guy thats really out there. Some people in my building thinks he is crazy. I do have to say he definitely is a bit f up if you know what i mean.

I know he takes medication as well. I know he has lot of health issues because he always talks about it. I have no idea if he have Hep-A or anything like that. I doubt it. However, thats why i don't want to take any chances.
Old 04-14-2018, 09:49 PM
224 posts, read 67,398 times
Reputation: 70
Originally Posted by dblackga View Post
I think there are so many other things to be worried about in this world than some guy forgetting to wash his hands. News flash -- MOST guys don't wash their hands every time they pee. About 25-30% don't do it at all, and of the other 70-75% percent, they don't do it every time. And even if they do, they don't WASH their hands -- they simply wave their hands under a little running water for 5-10 seconds, they don't use soap.

I probably wouldn't go to this guy's house for a home-cooked dinner, but I wouldn't panic at him touching the water pitcher, either. Wash it if it makes you that uncomfortable. Good lord, if this sends you into a tizzy, how do you get through the day?

Yes i read most guys don't wash their hands after peeing. However, the thing is this guy touched my water pitcher like within a few seconds after leaving the bathroom. Now if he went to my futon and sat down there for a while... say few minutes. Then touched the water pitcher, that to me isn't that bad but its still bad. The issue is he touched his junk and then immediately touched by water pitcher. And he took the lid out... inspected it and the entire circle area of the actual water pitcher. I thought to myself... are you kidding me? I mean you just touched your junk and few seconds later touching the entire area where i pour water from into my glass? Thats what got me very upset.

If he washed his hands for a few seconds and dont even use a paper towel, i would be fine with that. Now if he peed a few hours ago and then came over to my place and then touch the water pitcher, then to me that wouldnt be that bad. Does anyone here agree/disagree with this logic? Its that he touched the water pitcher immediately after touching his junk. I have a tough time thinking here the ppl say that is no big deal until you see it happen yourself. This guy is not clean at all. I would bet many of you guys would even be scared/intimidated by him because he doesn't give a good vibe. Even he says that himself such as he told me a while back i think ppl in the building are intimidated by him etc and i said yea i would agree.

Get through the day? If you had someone do this right in front of you, you would have zero problems at all? How about a stranger touch his junk while peeing and then a few seconds later have him use his hands and touch the entire drinking area of your water glass and you see it. You telling me you wouldnt find this even a bit disgusting? Many things i dont care about when it comes to germs. This however bothered me a lot. So if you had a bum touch your water glass and put his hands all over it after you saw him pee in the bushes, you going to use that water pitcher/glass again?
Old 04-14-2018, 09:52 PM
224 posts, read 67,398 times
Reputation: 70
Originally Posted by wit-nit View Post
Germaphobies I know carry those thin plastic throwaway hand gloves with them, then if worried they whip one out of their pocket or purse and use it. Then throw it away. Worry solved.

I do not carry hand gloves or anything like that. I don't even have those hand wipes where ppl use when outside in public etc. I call myself a bit of a germaphobe but its more in extreme situations. I think many examples of what other ppl would find germaphobic, i would not. This however was different to me.
Old 04-14-2018, 10:01 PM
224 posts, read 67,398 times
Reputation: 70
Also the thing is it also depends on the person. For example if its someone i know well or pretty well and they are clean, i would zero issues with it. Like if it was a friend of mine and he helps himself to things but washes his hands, zero problems at all. Also if you look at this guy, i would assume of you would not invite him over. He smokes cigars a lot. He asked me if it was fine to smoke inside my apt... normally i say no but i just said yes. A while back i had someone else who come to my apartment and chat and everytime he take a smoke he goes right outside my door and we chat there so the smoke goes outside. Also that other guy, whenever he used my bathroom which he does a lot when he use to come over because he usually drink a few beers, i didn't have that big of an issue with it because he didn't touched my food and things etc.

So right when he was inside my apartment and smoking, there was a lot of smoke. I also had an old bottle of air freshener but the bottle couldnt even open and didnt work so i had to go out to get air refresher for it. Because the smoke from the cigar smoke was very bad... much worst than a cigarette. I dont smoke but i know secondhand smoke is not good for you. Also who wants to have smoke smell in their apartment if they are nonsmoker. Nobody. And because of that, i had to get air freshener because i couldnt bear the smell of it. It was very strong.
Old 04-14-2018, 10:05 PM
224 posts, read 67,398 times
Reputation: 70
Originally Posted by in_newengland View Post
That's somewhat the way I feel. OP, get over the germophobia.

There's some old saying about "you're gonna eat a lotta dirt before you die." We have all eaten things that are not 100% clean. Maybe we're even a little bit healthier due to not living in a sterile environment.

With the water pitcher, wash it with hot soapy water. Having someone with dirty hands touch the spout of my water pitcher would bother me too. There is an "ick" factor to it.

While you're working on getting over your dread of germs, maybe get a ton of little bottles of water so you will never run out when he comes to visit. Maybe you could also get a bottle of that hand sanitizer in a pump type container, place it right on the bathroom sink, and tell him about it before he uses the bathroom. Personally, I don't use the stuff except when traveling, but I keep a container on the sink for guests--along with a clean guest towel to make things easier for them.

What is your definition of dirty hands? Now let say someone was outside all day and doing yard work or something like that. Then he doesn't wash his hands and then touch my water pitcher. To me that is bad. But i would just wash it with hot water and soap. But here, he touched his junk. And it was just a few seconds later he touched my water pitcher and opened the lid and inspected it and touched the entire surrounding area... both the lid and the water pitcher area. Imagine he takes his hand and circled it. Yes thats pretty much what he did.

Yea i will get water bottles in case this happens again. And i already have a bottle of hand soap there where its a pump. He doesn't use it. Yes its right on the sink.
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