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I'm NOT an alcoholic at all. In fact, I'm not a heavy drinker and my drinking patterns are rather inconsistent. Maybe one week I'll have a beer or two 1-3 days out of the week. Sometimes if its a festive weekend or long weekend I can drink throughout that weekend. There's even times where I'll completely forget about the beer or whiskey I'll have laying around and I'll give those beers away. MAYBE the whiskey. If not the whiskey, it easily be stored away for MONTHS and I can completely forget about it. i can easily go weeks without drinking, without a problem. In fact, I can count the moments I've had really bad hangovers on one hand in my 8 years of drinking (prior to being 25, I never drank at all).
However, this past Sunday I got COMPLETELY trashed and I can't even live with myself. I had to call out of work yesterday and today because I am too sick. Though I am getting better now, my mental health is suffering. I feel intensely embarrassed, ashamed, and not proud of myself whatsoever. To others they'll say "Oh, you must've had a good night!" To me, it was all NOT worth the price to pay how I feel. It's not worth me being in a state of vulnerability, where I can't recall moments clearly and where I wouldn't be able to be vigilant and aware. Not only for myself but my company, my family, friends, my girlfriend. It bothers me to no end that in that state I was in, I was just completely useless, that I became a burden to other people. That other people in my home had to clean up after me. It bothers me that my girlfriend is ignoring me, because I probably said something stupid over the phone. Now I'm stressing out if my relationship is over.
Normally, I never get trahsed, wasted, intoxicated in the manner I did on Sunday. In fact, I'm much more careful, much more vigilant and completely capable of having fun without alcohol and beer. I simply drank way too much than I intended but this isn't going to be an excuse. This hangover is so intense I've been contemplating suicide. I feel absolutely worthless and not good at all.
From here on out I am going to be sober indefinitely and maybe for good. I care way too much about my physical and mental health and I never want to feel this low again. I feel less than zero and don't even feel alive.
Anyway, I needed to get this catharsis out someway, somehow.
I've never drank alcohol in my life, going on 42 years now. It's interesting in that I'm the only in my family and extended family, which includes 20 first cousins and over 20 aunts and uncles that doesn't drink. I remember vividly when I was 7 and my Dad offered me a Miller Lite and I said no, both of my sisters said yes.
Not sure what caused me to say no and continue to say no for the rest of my life.
I think binge drinking is a slippery slope. If you can forgo alcohol from now on, it’s the safest thing.
If you can have a beer or a glass of wine or a cocktail once in awhile, there’s nothing wrong with that either. Only you can decide if the binging was a fluke, or if you will continue to do it.
You never explained the circumstances around your drinking. This sounds like an extremely big change from your regular drinking, but you're not a teetotaler so should have been able to handle a few more drinks without this kind of reaction. So that makes it sound like you drank an entire fifth of whiskey or something!
So what precipitated this? Curiosity? Wanting to experience a Kavanaugh-type blackout? I'm only half kidding - just because this was a totally new experience for you and you don't say that you were celebrating or grieving or with new people or family or much of anything. You need a little insight into this to come up with the best solution.
I'm NOT an alcoholic at all. In fact, I'm not a heavy drinker and my drinking patterns are rather inconsistent. Maybe one week I'll have a beer or two 1-3 days out of the week. Sometimes if its a festive weekend or long weekend I can drink throughout that weekend. There's even times where I'll completely forget about the beer or whiskey I'll have laying around and I'll give those beers away. MAYBE the whiskey. If not the whiskey, it easily be stored away for MONTHS and I can completely forget about it. i can easily go weeks without drinking, without a problem. In fact, I can count the moments I've had really bad hangovers on one hand in my 8 years of drinking (prior to being 25, I never drank at all).
However, this past Sunday I got COMPLETELY trashed and I can't even live with myself. I had to call out of work yesterday and today because I am too sick. Though I am getting better now, my mental health is suffering. I feel intensely embarrassed, ashamed, and not proud of myself whatsoever. To others they'll say "Oh, you must've had a good night!" To me, it was all NOT worth the price to pay how I feel. It's not worth me being in a state of vulnerability, where I can't recall moments clearly and where I wouldn't be able to be vigilant and aware. Not only for myself but my company, my family, friends, my girlfriend. It bothers me to no end that in that state I was in, I was just completely useless, that I became a burden to other people. That other people in my home had to clean up after me. It bothers me that my girlfriend is ignoring me, because I probably said something stupid over the phone. Now I'm stressing out if my relationship is over.
Normally, I never get trahsed, wasted, intoxicated in the manner I did on Sunday. In fact, I'm much more careful, much more vigilant and completely capable of having fun without alcohol and beer. I simply drank way too much than I intended but this isn't going to be an excuse. This hangover is so intense I've been contemplating suicide. I feel absolutely worthless and not good at all.
From here on out I am going to be sober indefinitely and maybe for good. I care way too much about my physical and mental health and I never want to feel this low again. I feel less than zero and don't even feel alive.
Anyway, I needed to get this catharsis out someway, somehow.
Whatever you decide to do just don't set yourself up for failure. You could end up feeling even worse. If utter and complete teetotaling isn't realistic (given your social life and relationships with people you care about for example) you could end up beating yourself up over a slip that doesn't really make much difference to your life as a whole. Would you end up very upset if you "cave in" and have a glass of wine at a family party? Or would you still be able to view that glass of wine as nothing more than what it is...a token part of a celebration, not a turn down the slippery slope? Would you end up becoming nervous and preachy about alcohol every time it's present? Or would you just politely refuse an offered drink and drop the topic without getting defensive about it?
I was never a big drinker. I would have a glass of wine once or twice a week. On special occasions, I would drink more. And there are times that I did over indulge, although those were rare.
I got really sick (unrelated to alcohol) a few years ago. I didn't drink (couldn't even if I'd wanted to) during my illness, which lasted about a year.
I could totally drink now if I wanted to, but I just thought, "Why?" So I haven't had a drink in 2 years. Don't have to worry about arranging rides or feeling tired or a little sick the next day. And I'm showing my kids, ages 11 & 13, by example, that you don't have to drink. Just because it's a party or holiday or other people are doing it, doesn't mean you have to. I just don't see the point in it anymore.
I was never a big drinker. I would have a glass of wine once or twice a week. On special occasions, I would drink more. And there are times that I did over indulge, although those were rare.
I got really sick (unrelated to alcohol) a few years ago. I didn't drink (couldn't even if I'd wanted to) during my illness, which lasted about a year.
I could totally drink now if I wanted to, but I just thought, "Why?" So I haven't had a drink in 2 years. Don't have to worry about arranging rides or feeling tired or a little sick the next day. And I'm showing my kids, ages 11 & 13, by example, that you don't have to drink. Just because it's a party or holiday or other people are doing it, doesn't mean you have to. I just don't see the point in it anymore.
I think binge drinking is a slippery slope. If you can forgo alcohol from now on, it’s the safest thing.
If you can have a beer or a glass of wine or a cocktail once in awhile, there’s nothing wrong with that either. Only you can decide if the binging was a fluke, or if you will continue to do it.
Good luck! IIRC, about the only "downside" to quitting drinking is that you find out how boring drunk people are.
LOL. And how you can almost chart the loss of IQ points per drink as they get smarter, wittier, sexier, and more clever as the night goes on.
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