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Old Today, 02:52 AM
 
Location: Central New Jersey
1,592 posts, read 557,211 times
Reputation: 2749

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If you hobbling as bad as you say you are, perhaps she was only looking out for your well being. That or she figured you'd get from point A to B faster in the wheelchair.

 
Old Today, 03:24 AM
 
4,893 posts, read 2,173,743 times
Reputation: 12476
Most public places that deal with venues do carry defibulators, sounds like that might have been more akin to what was needed. A heartless soul sometimes needs a jolt of public decorum to understand. Not for the sales lady but for the recipient whos goal was to be mean.
 
Old Today, 03:34 AM
Status: "Waiting..." (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Here and now.
10,511 posts, read 2,853,033 times
Reputation: 11321
Sorry, but her offense was rooted in ignorance and an excess of concern. Yours was rooted in pure meanness. I'm not a big fan of either, but if I had to choose, I'd pick stupidity over spitefulness every time.
 
Old Today, 03:39 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
27,727 posts, read 17,732,636 times
Reputation: 40160
She was trying to help. Did she go about it in the most gracious manner? No it doesn't sound like it, but her intent was obviously kind.

Unfortunately the same could not be said about yours.
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Old Today, 06:43 AM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 19 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,446 posts, read 50,689,166 times
Reputation: 60393
Rather than taking the mean teenager route, wouldn't it have been better to just calmly respond, "Please learn to address people directly, not the person they are with, and when someone tells you 'no thanks' to the offer of a wheelchair, don't keep insisting. I know you're trying to be helpful, but there's a more respectful way to go about it."
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Old Today, 06:48 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
15,741 posts, read 9,728,169 times
Reputation: 34621
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
I'm not too sure where to put this, but here seems as good a place as any.


First, I'm 64, and walk with a cane, due to severe arthritis. I get around ok, its not like I'm hobbling in an alarming manner. Look, many people walk with canes, is that so unusual?

Many years ago, when I lived in Michigan, it seemed I could hardly go out the door without someone chasing after me shouting "Do you need a wheelchair"" Well, since I moved to Texas, that has hardly ever happened. Perhaps its just coincidence, or perhaps its a cultural thing, but its such a relief to be able to go out in public without being heckled.

Which probably explains why I was more than a little taken aback by what happened last weekend. My husband and I attended an estate sale, just poking around, looking for "stuff". I was using my cane, and holding onto my dh arm due to the various leveled floor. Well, there were several shoppers in the house. We entered through a rather large hallway. Directly across from the entranceway was a desk set up with the sales people. They shouted out "hello, welcome" to everyone who entered, including us. Ok, so far, so good.


Then, the fat lady at the table literally shouted at us "Do you want a wheelchair?" I mean, she was shouting clear across a large room. Then, she directed her request at my dh, saying oh, we have a really nice little wheelchair, you can push her around to view things. Well, my dh has been better trained than that---instead of answering her, he looked at me and asked if I wanted a wheelchair. I said no thank you, but Fat Sales Lady continued to ask my dh wouldn't she like a wheelchair? At that point, dh told fatty no, he didn't want a wheelchair. Fatty says oh, I meant her. Then dh told fatty she should then ask me, not him.


At that point, the Fat Sales Lady came rushing over and said to dh, oh, we just thought your daughter would be more comfortable in a wheelchair Like I said, I'm 64, dh is 65, and we certainly don't look like father/daughter.


I mean, this sales lady tripped over every stereotype in the book. Didn't talk to me, addressed my "keeper" Assumed I didn't have a brain in my head and couldn't speak for myself. Totally violated my dignity and space, calling me out in front of others like that. Then infantilized me, assuming I was with my father!



Well, I did have my comeback. After she repeatedly said that I would be more comfortable in a wheelchair, in a LOUD voice, I repeated to her, in an equally LOUD voice, "I'm quite comfortable as I am, or I would have brought a wheelchair. However, wouldn't you be more comfortable if you lost about 50 pounds? It must be difficult, carrying all that weight around. Have a nice day" As we left, we heard a lot of people laugh.


Why do people do this? Why do they assume you don't even know what you "need" and just waiting for them to provide it? Why assume you have no dignity, and anything they say is ok? How would it be if I walked in somewhere, stood there with a dumb look and said oh, get me a wheelchair? Like if I needed one I would have brought one Oh, geez.....

I know, doesn't it just drive you crazy when people try to be kind and considerate to you ? I think you are being too sensitive, simply say, "No, I'm fine, thank you" and let it go.

We have gotten so used to people being indifferent to each other, that when someone shows kindness we don't know how to react. Very strange world we live in today. If you hold a door for someone, you never know if they will thank you or tell you off.
 
Old Today, 06:53 AM
 
12,934 posts, read 19,843,066 times
Reputation: 34048
Wow. I'm trying to wrap my head around the ugliness of your reply. The woman could have been more tactful, but that doesn't give you free-rein to be insulting. And you were.
 
Old Today, 06:56 AM
 
11,762 posts, read 16,505,046 times
Reputation: 16555
Customer service is trained to assist. Customer walking with a cane holding on to companion's arm - big red flag for potential accident and claim.
I find your response degrading and childish.
 
Old Today, 07:08 AM
 
Location: Texas
1,274 posts, read 555,357 times
Reputation: 6920
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
I'm not too sure where to put this, but here seems as good a place as any.


First, I'm 64, and walk with a cane, due to severe arthritis. I get around ok, its not like I'm hobbling in an alarming manner. Look, many people walk with canes, is that so unusual?

Many years ago, when I lived in Michigan, it seemed I could hardly go out the door without someone chasing after me shouting "Do you need a wheelchair"" Well, since I moved to Texas, that has hardly ever happened. Perhaps its just coincidence, or perhaps its a cultural thing, but its such a relief to be able to go out in public without being heckled.

Which probably explains why I was more than a little taken aback by what happened last weekend. My husband and I attended an estate sale, just poking around, looking for "stuff". I was using my cane, and holding onto my dh arm due to the various leveled floor. Well, there were several shoppers in the house. We entered through a rather large hallway. Directly across from the entranceway was a desk set up with the sales people. They shouted out "hello, welcome" to everyone who entered, including us. Ok, so far, so good.


Then, the fat lady at the table literally shouted at us "Do you want a wheelchair?" I mean, she was shouting clear across a large room. Then, she directed her request at my dh, saying oh, we have a really nice little wheelchair, you can push her around to view things. Well, my dh has been better trained than that---instead of answering her, he looked at me and asked if I wanted a wheelchair. I said no thank you, but Fat Sales Lady continued to ask my dh wouldn't she like a wheelchair? At that point, dh told fatty no, he didn't want a wheelchair. Fatty says oh, I meant her. Then dh told fatty she should then ask me, not him.


At that point, the Fat Sales Lady came rushing over and said to dh, oh, we just thought your daughter would be more comfortable in a wheelchair Like I said, I'm 64, dh is 65, and we certainly don't look like father/daughter.


I mean, this sales lady tripped over every stereotype in the book. Didn't talk to me, addressed my "keeper" Assumed I didn't have a brain in my head and couldn't speak for myself. Totally violated my dignity and space, calling me out in front of others like that. Then infantilized me, assuming I was with my father!


Well, I did have my comeback. After she repeatedly said that I would be more comfortable in a wheelchair, in a LOUD voice, I repeated to her, in an equally LOUD voice, "I'm quite comfortable as I am, or I would have brought a wheelchair. However, wouldn't you be more comfortable if you lost about 50 pounds? It must be difficult, carrying all that weight around. Have a nice day" As we left, we heard a lot of people laugh.


Why do people do this? Why do they assume you don't even know what you "need" and just waiting for them to provide it? Why assume you have no dignity, and anything they say is ok? How would it be if I walked in somewhere, stood there with a dumb look and said oh, get me a wheelchair? Like if I needed one I would have brought one Oh, geez.....
So, you think you told a story on someone else. This tells more of a story on you.

And your subsequent comments defending your crassness aren't helping your point.

Can't say I'm surprised. It's always someone else behaving badly, isn't it. Yep, that's not a question.
 
Old Today, 07:27 AM
 
9,366 posts, read 15,851,842 times
Reputation: 17224
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
She was trying to help. Did she go about it in the most gracious manner? No it doesn't sound like it, but her intent was obviously kind.

Unfortunately the same could not be said about yours.
My thoughts as well. While the lady may have been rude and off putting, that was not her intention. You, on the other hand, were purposefully and intentionally hurtful.
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