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Old Today, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,154 posts, read 22,157,419 times
Reputation: 35659

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
And who knows if she actually even said the "fatty" stuff out loud.
Agreed.

 
Old Today, 02:10 PM
 
Location: on the wind
4,288 posts, read 1,592,676 times
Reputation: 15225
How's that attempt to dodge the elephant in the room going for you? Not too well I suspect. There's a humble pie generously decorated with crow waiting in your kitchen. It will reverse some of those nutritional deficiencies you have. Serve yourself a double portion.

Last edited by Parnassia; Today at 02:30 PM..
 
Old Today, 02:49 PM
 
11,686 posts, read 13,118,377 times
Reputation: 30992
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
....

Why do people do this? Why do they assume you don't even know what you "need" and just waiting for them to provide it? Why assume you have no dignity, and anything they say is ok? How would it be if I walked in somewhere, stood there with a dumb look and said oh, get me a wheelchair? Like if I needed one I would have brought one Oh, geez.....
I am eighty, walk with two elbow canes due to a bad spine with a lousy 29 cm prosthesis screwed into it, and in the last three years the arthritis has made this situation more painful and more complicated. But I live alone, I clean and take care of a two-bedroom apartment and drive a car. As bending over is difficult to impossible I have long-handled pincers in several rooms - I can pick a pin off the floor, and the entire apartment is arranged so that I live comfortably for my condition, safely and happily.

Offers from strangers get a polite, "No thanks," and that is usually all it takes.

But spare me from those driven asshats with "good intentions", but no intelligent forethought. There is a reason that in English "good intentions" is only used to excuse people who produce negative results.

I have been almost turned head-over-heels by a fool, who as I was stepping forward in my living room to pick something up with pincers, dived in front of me to "help" so that I fell over her crouched body and only saved myself by grabbing a large upright bookcase. God!!!! Save me from my saviours. Fortunately Diving Dora got involved in cuckolding her husband and is no longer on the scene.

Friends and acquaintances really need to understand - and most do get it after a firm explanation: If you want help, you will ask for help. Second, every time you do something for a disabled person that they have found a way to do for themselves, you disable them again.
 
Old Today, 02:53 PM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 19 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,446 posts, read 50,689,166 times
Reputation: 60393
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
Wow, the bit about anal sex" is a complete fabrication!


Please find ONE post where I insisted my children be taught such! Actually, I have said, in some older posts, that I am AGAINST such. I believe I said something to the effect of my kids are taught about such topics as anal sex, etc, etc in elementary school, while the basics are glossed over or just ignored.


My children are both in their 20's now, but please, dig away through back posts and quote exactly what I said about anal sex.


Don't just use anything you think of to discredit me because you don't like how I dealt with the wheelchair issue.
That is NOT what the poster said. You are misreading her post.
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Old Today, 02:55 PM
 
9,481 posts, read 15,059,643 times
Reputation: 15494
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Okay:



From this thread:

Seeking Parenting advise to how address this

They didn't say you wanted your kids to be taught that, just that you said they were, which is HIGHLY unlikely.
Where did I say I "insisted" my children be taught about anal sex, etc? Or are you doubting that teaching such topics ever happened? And what on earth does that have to do with my thread about the wheelchair? Unless you're trying to imply it never happened!


Heckling the disabled in public, under the guise of "being nice" is unacceptable. I've put up with this for years, excuse me if for once I responded back how I wished, not a "nicey-nice" response. If you actually read the post, we both made appropriate, polite refusals, but this lady didn't stop, and she was patronizing and demeaning. What about her comment she thought my dh was my father? What about her talking to my dh, instead of me, like I was not capable of speaking for myself?


sometimes the only way to respond to such a situation is to hand it back. All the "polite" suggestions given here I did, and it just seemed to escalate to situation. So I finally just gave it back---under the guise of "being nice".


It seems many of you here don't understand sarcasm


Besides, why should a person with a disability be held to a "higher standard" while others seem to think they can treat her any which way? Demeaning and belittling someone in public, regardless of the circumstances, is NOT acceptable. I just chose to demonstrate that. Most people have their defects, they go about their lives as best they can. They shouldn't have to get into arguments with others as to how they live their lives.


In conclusion, she didn't just politely offer me a wheelchair. She called me out in a public situation, treated me like a child or someone incapable of speech, kept insisting she knew what I needed, totally disregarding the obvious, that if I needed a wheelchair, or other device, I would have brought my own. why couldn't I just do what I was doing---walking with a cane? Also, my dh helping me up and down the split level flooring? Why did she think she knew all about my situation and was going to "fix" it for me?


I've encountered such attitudes for decades, and put up with them as best I could. For once, I fought back. I don't apologize for that!
 
Old Today, 03:04 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,293 posts, read 37,873,641 times
Reputation: 74078
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
Where did I say I "insisted" my children be taught about anal sex, etc? Or are you doubting that teaching such topics ever happened? And what on earth does that have to do with my thread about the wheelchair? Unless you're trying to imply it never happened!
For once, calm down.

That poster didn't say you insisted on it. Just read the dang posts. And yes, we are all skeptical that the 2nd-grade sex ed happened because your posts tend to be SO dramatic that many people here doubt you're telling the truth half the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
Heckling the disabled in public, under the guise of "being nice" is unacceptable. I've put up with this for years, excuse me if for once I responded back how I wished, not a "nicey-nice" response. If you actually read the post, we both made appropriate, polite refusals, but this lady didn't stop, and she was patronizing and demeaning. What about her comment she thought my dh was my father? What about her talking to my dh, instead of me, like I was not capable of speaking for myself?
I would bet a hundred bucks that most people here would have sympathized with you because the woman WAS wrong. She should have backed off after the first refusal.

But in true Marylee fashion, you clapped back with zero class. So you took out all those years of resentment on this woman. You lost any bid for sympathy here when you wrote that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
...sometimes the only way to respond to such a situation is to hand it back.
No, that is never the ONLY way to respond. You made a choice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
Besides, why should a person with a disability be held to a "higher standard" while others seem to think they can treat her any which way? Demeaning and belittling someone in public, regardless of the circumstances, is NOT acceptable. I just chose to demonstrate that. Most people have their defects, they go about their lives as best they can. They shouldn't have to get into arguments with others as to how they live their lives.
I guess you would just rather have had a Jerry Springer-style "woop woop" reaction from all of us. You know, have us all respond, "Yeah, you go girl! Show that heifer what's what!"

But you were wrong. Period. Disabled or not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
For once, I fought back. I don't apologize for that!
For once, you fought back? No, for about the hundredth time you proved to be what you show yourself to be here ALL the time: Compulsive and negative, with a short fuse and decorum to match.

Like I said earlier, classic Marylee.

If this happens again, God forbid, just say loudly, "I don't want one, THANK YOU." And walk away.
 
Old Today, 03:34 PM
Status: "Waiting..." (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Here and now.
10,511 posts, read 2,853,033 times
Reputation: 11321
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
Where did I say I "insisted" my children be taught about anal sex, etc? Or are you doubting that teaching such topics ever happened? And what on earth does that have to do with my thread about the wheelchair? Unless you're trying to imply it never happened!
No one said you insisted on it. They said you complained about it being taught.
 
Old Today, 03:39 PM
Status: "Waiting..." (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Here and now.
10,511 posts, read 2,853,033 times
Reputation: 11321
Quote:
Originally Posted by kevxu View Post
I am eighty, walk with two elbow canes due to a bad spine with a lousy 29 cm prosthesis screwed into it, and in the last three years the arthritis has made this situation more painful and more complicated. But I live alone, I clean and take care of a two-bedroom apartment and drive a car. As bending over is difficult to impossible I have long-handled pincers in several rooms - I can pick a pin off the floor, and the entire apartment is arranged so that I live comfortably for my condition, safely and happily.

Offers from strangers get a polite, "No thanks," and that is usually all it takes.

But spare me from those driven asshats with "good intentions", but no intelligent forethought. There is a reason that in English "good intentions" is only used to excuse people who produce negative results.

I have been almost turned head-over-heels by a fool, who as I was stepping forward in my living room to pick something up with pincers, dived in front of me to "help" so that I fell over her crouched body and only saved myself by grabbing a large upright bookcase. God!!!! Save me from my saviours. Fortunately Diving Dora got involved in cuckolding her husband and is no longer on the scene.

Friends and acquaintances really need to understand - and most do get it after a firm explanation: If you want help, you will ask for help. Second, every time you do something for a disabled person that they have found a way to do for themselves, you disable them again.
You have a good point about encouraging people to do as much for themselves as they can, but does that really excuse willful cruelty as a response to a misguided effort to be helpful? As many people have pointed out, the OP missed a perfect opportunity to educate someone on how to best deal with the disabled.
 
Old Today, 03:54 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
41,154 posts, read 32,829,251 times
Reputation: 57375
You totally missed a golden opportunity to calmly, and with dignity, correct her misguided attempts. Instead, you reached BELOW her level, because while she was ignorant, you were mean spirited, which is a heavier offense to most people, myself included. You really did lose out on a great chance to educate someone.

A few years ago I had a doctor come into my dad's ICU room and address all conversation to my brother, probably because he was male, rather than to me - and I was the medical POA. I am also the oldest (older than my brother by ten years) even though my brother LOOKS older than me - but I digress. Anyway, this made me pretty angry, because I was the medical POA for a damn good reason and that was that my brother is seriously mentally ill, and was in fact, out of his program on a PASS only because our father was dying.

Anyway, I could have insulted the doctor - and my brother while I was at it - in front of everyone including the nursing staff and his peers - to make my case, but instead, I kept my dignity and corrected him, in private, in the hall. I stress that I KEPT MY DIGNITY. That's what we do when we refuse to resort to personal insults. That's my recommendation to you for the future.
 
Old Today, 03:55 PM
 
2,494 posts, read 1,069,978 times
Reputation: 9745
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
I fell down and hurt myself and got a cane to use for short-term recovery.

Subsequently, I cannot understand what canes even do to "help" you walk. I have observed people using them and it is apparent to me they are mainly props - crutches offer support and take weight off your legs, but canes do nothing.
I use canes or hiking sticks at time ,they help propel me when walking inclines and also with balance issues.
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