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Old 11-10-2018, 07:04 PM
 
Location: Earth
1,529 posts, read 1,726,745 times
Reputation: 1877

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I'm wondering if I have a problem...

Normally I drink socially, or even have a glass of wine a couple times of week. No biggie.

But for some reason, every few months or so I just get these urges to go waaaay overboard. Black out drunk and I don't know why. I'm not 20 anymore, I'm 40. It's like my brain is saying "this is a bad idea" but my hands and body keep ordering another drink.

Last week I was on business in Bangkok and I have no idea how I got back to my hotel room, which can be a pretty dangerous proposition for Bangkok. I woke up fully clothed and feeling awful. I don't know why I can't control myself.

Should I just quit drinking cold turkey? I like having the occasional glass of wine with my wife, but is it only making things worse?
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Old 11-10-2018, 07:15 PM
 
Location: planet earth
8,620 posts, read 5,652,717 times
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Yes, you should quit if you can't control it. That's one of the biggest signs that something is a problem.

I don't know what kind of support there is in Bangkok - but look for AA, a support group, or a therapist.

Binge drinking is super dangerous in itself. It can ruin your life.
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Old 11-10-2018, 07:25 PM
 
19,033 posts, read 27,599,679 times
Reputation: 20271
There is no such thing as "cultured" or "controlled" drinking. Drinking is drinking. It either is, or is not.

OP, you are on a dangerous slope. Quit asap and to complete NOTHING. Not a drop. Will take years to sober completely. Remember these numbers:
3, 5, 7, 11. Those are days/weeks/years it will keep trying to get you back. May 15 2002 - I am way past this.



here's what will happen. You will "quit". Then, a social occasion will arise. Or work situation. Movie watched. It can be anything. A trigger. Your justifier mind will say - oh, just a little. A little is OK. Only today. Mary is such a nice gal, what can possibly a glass of wine do. I have not seen Bob in long time, few beers won't do any harm... If you listen, some time down the road, you WILL not remember how you got back home. Or, how you ended in car in front of you. That's what my buddy did. Woke up from impact.



Remeber one thing. It's all or nothing. I spoke, it's your life.
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Old 11-10-2018, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Earth
1,529 posts, read 1,726,745 times
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I never really started drinking until I got to college and I found that I only did it because I thought it made me seem more interesting. People were really cruel to me and I never thought I was a very interesting person, but when I drank everyone would laugh at my antics. I was the life of the party.

After college, I would only binge drink on weekends. I've never missed a day of work because of alcohol, but I'd make up for it on weekends. Now I've been married for 9 years and I usually control myself when my wife is around. Sometimes not, however. Normally, I enjoy a little bit of wine, but sometimes I can't control my impulses.

A 40 year old man shouldn't be getting black out drunk, and yet I do it every 3 or 4 months.
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Old 11-10-2018, 07:44 PM
 
Location: planet earth
8,620 posts, read 5,652,717 times
Reputation: 19645
Can you say, to enlighten me, a non-alcoholic, what you find so alluring about black-out binge drinking? It sounds horrible and from what I have seen (and I have seen a lot), it IS horrible. So what is the appeal?
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Old 11-10-2018, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Earth
1,529 posts, read 1,726,745 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Can you say, to enlighten me, a non-alcoholic, what you find so alluring about black-out binge drinking? It sounds horrible and from what I have seen (and I have seen a lot), it IS horrible. So what is the appeal?
There's no allure to getting blackout drunk. I never enjoy it. I sometimes drink because I struggle to have one on one conversations with people. I get nervous for some reason. Having a drink or two loosens me up and I feel more comfortable chatting.

But the blackout drunk thing isn't fun. It comes from somewhere inside of me that says, "okay, you're a little buzzed - let's get a little more buzzed. Then a little more. And a little more..."
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Old 11-10-2018, 08:03 PM
Status: "I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out." (set 7 days ago)
 
35,630 posts, read 17,968,125 times
Reputation: 50652
Here's the rule, and it's true.

You'll never feel better than you do after 2 glasses of wine. 2 drinks, and that's as good as you're going to feel. You drink more, you won't feel better. You'll feel worse.

Stop at 2, until you feel the alcohol fade. And then if the evening drags on and on, you can order another drink until you feel like you do after 2 drinks.
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Old 11-10-2018, 09:08 PM
 
Location: Earth
1,529 posts, read 1,726,745 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
Here's the rule, and it's true.

You'll never feel better than you do after 2 glasses of wine. 2 drinks, and that's as good as you're going to feel. You drink more, you won't feel better. You'll feel worse.

Stop at 2, until you feel the alcohol fade. And then if the evening drags on and on, you can order another drink until you feel like you do after 2 drinks.
I try. But then I want one more. And one more turns into 10 more.
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Old 11-10-2018, 10:16 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,322 posts, read 17,134,528 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bolehboleh View Post
I try. But then I want one more. And one more turns into 10 more.
I spent years like this. Walking around and "coming to" in a strange area, waking up on a park bench etc. Its super dangerous, you could fall, get hit by a car or be robbed and killed. The fact that you have a craving like this after having one indicates a problem. Many people party hard sometimes, but when they choose not to they succeed. You are not doing this successfully. This is a strong indicator of alcoholism. If you cannot drink one or two and walk away, you may need to cease use permanently, and accept it. It will not be the end of the world, you can use the sober time to do any number of things. You will save a lot of cash not going to bars and managing this better.

Being older also means your body will not handle it as well. Liver, pancreatic and heart issues can increase greatly now. Its just biology. If you have relatives who suffered from alcoholism, this can affect you also. I had family like this myself. Im around your age too.

I Held down stable jobs, no DUI or legal troubles but put myself at risk so many times its a miracle im not dead or dealing with some crazy issue as a result of one night. I don't party anymore, but always remember how things were with me to keep me in check. I have still had some drinks on occasion but moderate seriously as I think back to the bad old days as I call them.

I hope you get this under control. PM me if you want to talk OP
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Old 11-10-2018, 11:29 PM
 
Location: on the wind
23,297 posts, read 18,837,889 times
Reputation: 75302
Quote:
Originally Posted by bolehboleh View Post
I'm wondering if I have a problem...

Normally I drink socially, or even have a glass of wine a couple times of week. No biggie.

But for some reason, every few months or so I just get these urges to go waaaay overboard. Black out drunk and I don't know why. I'm not 20 anymore, I'm 40. It's like my brain is saying "this is a bad idea" but my hands and body keep ordering another drink.

Last week I was on business in Bangkok and I have no idea how I got back to my hotel room, which can be a pretty dangerous proposition for Bangkok. I woke up fully clothed and feeling awful. I don't know why I can't control myself.

Should I just quit drinking cold turkey? I like having the occasional glass of wine with my wife, but is it only making things worse?
You know the answer to this question OP. Period. Stop drinking. What you are doing isn't working.
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