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If you have the responsibility of assisting a disabled adult, who's of the opposite sex than you, and all that is available is a public men's or women's restroom. which one do you opt to use?
Assuming this is a serious thread - I'd always choose the women's room because it's all stalls instead of a men's room that likely will have open urinals and, therefore, be more of an invasion of everyone's privacy.
Since I'm male, I think it's more appropriate to take her into the women's restroom, for that same reason. I don't always know how others will react to either seeing or hearing a man in the women's restrooms, especially if there might be children in there as well. I realize that parents have to deal with this a lot, but that's a little bit different scenario.
If you're in a restaurant or store where there would be female employees nearby, maybe you could enlist one to go in first and see if there's anyone in there, and maybe give anyone who is there a heads up on the situation. You're in a difficult spot, I hope someone with more experience like this can offer more suggestions.
What is her disability? I am just curious since I've been in a wheelchair for over a decade (closer to 2 decades) and blind as well. If there is a handicapped restroom with safe equipment there shouldn't be an issue but if you MUST accompany her to the restroom then I would simply ask a manager to help clear the restroom so that you can assist the lady. They might also allow you to use the employee restroom which would be easier than the public restroom.
I count on my husband to help me when it is a family restroom but I would be most uncomfortable bringing him into the ladies room- just as I would be horrified for a strange male to be in the ladies room with me. I am not trying to be difficult but wanted to be honest with my feelings; and as a seriously disabled female I would hate to make others even MORE uncomfortable around me.
So, either ask to have someone clear the restroom or if you could use the employee restroom. In any case it would be horrible to take her to the men's room.
I also think it's more appropriate to take her into the women's restroom because she is the one going to the restroom. Think of it this way: if you speaking through an interpreter to a deaf person, you would use gendered language based on the deaf person and not the interpreter. As a general rule of thumb, default to the disabled person's gender and not the gender of the person providing accommodations.
If someone looks alarmed, explain to them that you are just there to assist someone with using the restroom.
That said, definitely go for the family restroom if there is one. It tends to have better accommodations anyway (accessible sink, railings on the wall to hold onto, braille signage, etc).
On a humorous note, I'm really glad to be lesbian cause my ex girlfriend is in a wheelchair and we never ran into that issue!
I could potentially be in that situation with my Dad some day. I've wondered about that myself. Fortunately, I've noticed there are some places that have family bathrooms. I am hoping if I am ever in that situation it will be in a place where they have one of those.
I like the suggestion that woman's bathrooms have more stalls, but I can't see my Dad agreeing to go into a womens bathroom. I might just have to roll him in there and ignore his griping. That's kind of difficult for me to do sometimes!
I think that this is a very considerate question. I agree, use the women's restroom, and it would be courteous if at all possible to ask staff or even a friendly-looking patron to gently give a head's up to bathroom users already inside.
Taking a p**s the other day at Walmart....in walks daddy with his seven year old daughter.....WTF!!!!
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