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Old 03-10-2019, 10:11 AM
419 posts, read 277,925 times
Reputation: 793


Not sure where this thread belongs so thought I would try here.
I am an avid hiker. Love nature and all of our vacations are at national parks etc..
My husband isn't into hiking or nature like me but enjoys it still. Within the past year his back and leg have gotten worse making hiking or walking painful. I have let him know we could split up at the parks he taking smaller hikes and me the longer ones.
He refuses that and insist on coming with me but suffering during and after the hikes.
What are my options? Give up my love, peace and stress relief for the next 30 years or so?
We don't live in an area where there is hiking nearby that I could go often for day trips or whatever.
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Old 03-10-2019, 10:57 AM
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
23,336 posts, read 4,848,230 times
Reputation: 27516
No to giving up your peace....don't do this.

WHY does he insist on coming with you? Safety??

If so, women should always have someone with them on long hikes. It's just a different world, not all on the trail are kind....in the SE here, we had a man who murdered three, hiking the APP Trail...it's not safe like it used to be...

What's wrong with him coming....don't you do things he wants but maybe you're not as keen on? It won't hurt him to hike with you.
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Old 03-10-2019, 11:19 AM
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
5,412 posts, read 4,106,987 times
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I feel for you. My DH and I both love to hike but we are not the same skill level. We often do hike together, but when we do, its usually a very moderate hike. Fortunately for us, we live away from Texas much of the time and our 55+ community in Las Vegas has an active hiking club with offerings for all levels. We even have several hikes we can both go on but stay in different pace groups. Last Fall, my DH had an injury and it is not healed so very often he isn’t hiking. Of course, I still have my local hiking club, but have observed several options.

Its unwise to hike alone, and I would NEVER do it.

I have noticed: on the www.Nextdoor.com site, there are sometimes “girls groups” of hikers posting opportunities for members. Or, you could post — looking for people to hike with. Also there are many senior travel groups that have hiking adventures. We’ve gone on some Roads Scholar trips with hiking opportunities and they often have hikes for different levels or even alternate activities for non-hikers while hikes are on the agenda.

In 2016, we spent the summer in Logan, UT at their “summer citizens” program through Utah State U. A great place for summer hiking and a fabulous hiking club through the program. So many activities going on all the time so you could hike with the group while he did other things. The program runs approx 5/20 - 8/20 but many folks just reserve for half the session.

These days we spend less time in Dallas because of the limited hiking — weather and hiking venues dramatically limit the opportunities. However, we did hike and backpack with the Sierra Club for some time — although this wouldn’t be a good fit for your DH.

The best thing we did was to move to an active 55+ community because of the many clubs. There are several in TX.
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Old 03-10-2019, 01:00 PM
Location: Tampa, FL
202 posts, read 132,621 times
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How old is your husband and what kind of underlying conditions does he have to cause the pain? Does he have pain with steep grades only or even flat hikes? How far can he hike before pain kicks in?

Never hike alone, EVER. Maybe compromise and do one medium hike per day with rest breaks.
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Old 03-10-2019, 01:48 PM
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
6,145 posts, read 3,476,901 times
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Default Safety concern?

For the next 30 years is a long time. Have you ever considered getting a dog? I am a single woman and I run or hike alone... with my dog. (120 pound Rottweiler) He was trained to protect me by a guy who trains police dogs. If I tell my dog to “watch” him/her, he will stand between us and hold his ground while I walk away. He won’t allow them to walk in my direction. Once I am a safe distance away I just call him and he returns to my side. If I am walking and someone is coming from the opposite direction he will make sure that he is between us when we pass one another. He not only keeps me safe, but he’s a great hiking companion. He never gets tired or bored.
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Old 03-10-2019, 08:23 PM
Location: SoCal
11,675 posts, read 5,571,173 times
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I’m like your husband and much younger than my husband. My husband can walk miles. We never hike even when we were younger, not in Yosemite anyway. But before I met my husband, I did join the Sierra club and walked in the LA National Forest, not sure that’s equivalent of hiking or not. But we’re thinking of going to the Lake District in England and my husband might hike with his best friend. I do short walk and meet up some where. I’m much slower due to hip arthritis.

Last edited by NewbieHere; 03-10-2019 at 08:49 PM..
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Old Yesterday, 09:13 AM
Location: Middle of the ocean
29,878 posts, read 18,899,965 times
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It depends on why he insists on coming. For your safety? Then find other people to hike with so he doesn't worry. Because he wants to hike too? Then let him.

What's wrong with him? Will hiking help improve his symptoms in the long run, or make them worse?
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Old Yesterday, 09:43 AM
2,541 posts, read 1,421,522 times
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I am the one who is limited in hiking and such but my husband just goes without me if it’s somebtint I can’t do. I stay behind and read a book or find an easier trail or whatever the case may be. Why won’t he do that? Is it a safety concern or a codependency issue? I think you need to get to the reasoning behind it and address whatever that is. I would not give up what you love doing.
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Old Yesterday, 03:36 PM
7,571 posts, read 6,991,930 times
Reputation: 5771
He may need a hiking stick. Those actually look pretty cool like someone's who's prepared to trek a long distance (even if he's not). The only other thing I can think of is to wear some kind of brace to protect the back or do some preparation walking for several weeks before the trip.
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Old Yesterday, 03:53 PM
1,188 posts, read 373,761 times
Reputation: 3085
I was married to an older, less-mobile husband and we still had many wonderful travel memories. We'd sightsee in the early afternoon then come back to the room and he'd relax while I went out and did something else. I didn't do any real hiking on my own; was more into sightseeing in cities in well-populated areas so was fine alone. Last October, though, I hiked up Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh 3 days in a row on my own-loved it. This was a VERY popular place to hike so I knew that if I fell and broke something important I wouldn't languish there for days- also had a phone with me. You could also find and book group hiks for your level of expertise.

Is he staying with you to protect you? Then hiking in groups may reassure him. Or is he just reluctant to accept his limits? If he's not worsening anything by taking more strenuous hikes, maybe you should let him accompany you, unless you have a hard time watching him suffer and/or are slowed down a lot because he needs to take beaks. In that case, he may have to learn to accept his limitations.
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