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As others here have mentioned: you're 29, you don't live with your mother--how is it that you and she talk about food and your WW diet so often? Do you speak with her every day? If so, you may need to cut back a bit, until you feel better equipped to deal with her critiquing your food choices (perhaps after you've made more progress with WW//feel good about yourself).
As for Thanksgiving with your mother, sounds like it will be stressful, given what you are describing. Do you have to spend it with her, knowing that she will pick on everything you eat or want to eat? As E-Twist wrote, COVID social distancing gives you an "out."
I feel sad to hear you are still being emotionally mistreated like this.
Have you ever thought that your obsession with comfort food is as a result of your Mother's behavior toward you ? Very likely in my knowledgeable opinion. She can't let go of you. Some people are wired so that they always need someone to pester and in this case you are 'it'. She imparts there is always something wrong with you. Am I right? She won't be changing her attitude any time soon that is for sure.
You are the only one who can affect a change. You are going to have to avoid your mother in order to be successful. You will not be a bad person if you do that.
I ran away from home to get away from my father's emotional abuse. I was of an age to do it, 17. It was killing my spirit to stay there any longer. I had contemplated suicide. Time to get out.
1. You should straight up ask/tell your mother to no longer offer her opinion or advice about anything related to your health/eating/diet unless you explicitly ask for it. Tell her you appreciate her concern for your well-being but you will let her know when you want her input.
2. Your mother has unhealthy attitudes about eating and relationships that are probably affecting your lifelong struggles. Ideas such as you can't eat what you want for a holiday meal like Thanksgiving as part of your overall plan is ridiculous and counterproductive. WW is a really good plan for getting weight off. At some point, many people start to feel tracking points for the rest of their lives is not how they want to live - it puts too much focus on food that they're actually trying to focus less on. When you achieve your weight loss goals if you start to get fatigue with the program, you may want to transition gradually to a program that addresses the psychology behind your eating so you can eventually track less or not at all by addressing root causes.
I hate to sound like a broken record, but as many others here have said, its up to you what you discuss with your Mother. You keep bringing up dieting, or food, and you know exactly how she'll respond...but you keep doing it anyway. So there must be some payback for you to have your mother talk to you the way she does.
my mom got really fat around 60. i told her i was embarrassed to be seen with her because she was so obese. a couple of months after our talk she had gastric bypass and now at 80+ is healthy and alive. she wouldn't have been alive if she had continued to be obese for 20 years. she weighs 130 pounds now and is still such a force in our lives. we are all so grateful she is with us. i felt bad when i hurt her feelings, but i said what i said out of love. i didn't want to lose her prematurely!
Last edited by texan2yankee; 11-15-2020 at 07:03 PM..
My mom is the same way all though not as bad. I had to put her in her place one day and tell her to stop asking me what I ate or commenting on how much I eat. I am overweight too and I know I need to loose weight. I have been on WW on and off since I was a teen. I am at my heaviest now 225 lbs. Although I carry it fairly well. I was down to 135 pounds when I was in my early 20's. Joined WW in 2011 again, lost 55 lbs kept it off for about 2 years, then the weight slowly crept up gain. My overall health is great according to my blood work I get every year and I do try and watch what I eat but life and stress get in the way. She still asks how am doing with my weight and I tell not so good and she drops the subject. I am 49 and my is 75 LOL. I can understand being concerned about someone's weight but then it gets to the point where they should mind their own business. Ignore your mom's comments. do what you want you are an adult. Good Luck.
"My mother has been very opinionated about my weight and eating habits my whole life."
This isn't really about your weight, or weight watchers, or what you're going to eat on Thanksgiving. This is a relationship problem with your mother who hasn't learned to move on and recognize that you're a grown woman and don't need her to cut your food up any more, and let you make your own mistakes and earn your own successes.
Parents tend to use food to control their children: Go straight to your room without any dinner! No dessert unless you finish your broccoli! You don't like your squash? Don't you know there are kids starving in Africa?! Did you just curse? You're going to eat some soap! It may be a hard concept to swallow, but your mom is still trying to manipulate your behavior, and your feelings, using food. And it's working. Stop giving her so much counter-productive control over your emotional well being.
You need to tell your mom that you're a grown woman and you know how food, weight, and fitness are related and although you appreciate that she cares, her comments are counter-productive and you're not going to continue to have counter-productive discussions with her. If she won't drop the subject, leave. You may find, over time, that refusing to engage in counter-productive conversations with her in other topics is also beneficial to your emotional and physical health.
"My mother has been very opinionated about my weight and eating habits my whole life."
This isn't really about your weight, or weight watchers, or what you're going to eat on Thanksgiving. This is a relationship problem with your mother who hasn't learned to move on and recognize that you're a grown woman and don't need her to cut your food up any more, and let you make your own mistakes and earn your own successes.
Parents tend to use food to control their children: Go straight to your room without any dinner! No dessert unless you finish your broccoli! You don't like your squash? Don't you know there are kids starving in Africa?! Did you just curse? You're going to eat some soap! It may be a hard concept to swallow, but your mom is still trying to manipulate your behavior, and your feelings, using food. And it's working. Stop giving her so much counter-productive control over your emotional well being.
You need to tell your mom that you're a grown woman and you know how food, weight, and fitness are related and although you appreciate that she cares, her comments are counter-productive and you're not going to continue to have counter-productive discussions with her. If she won't drop the subject, leave. You may find, over time, that refusing to engage in counter-productive conversations with her in other topics is also beneficial to your emotional and physical health.
Yes, I agree completely. I love spending time with her. We are good friends. But occasionally she gets all controlling mother. I tell her to back off and we argue. I appreciate her advice and insight. Its not like she's wrong most of the time. But the way she goes about it is bossing me. She refuses to realize and acknowledge this at all. I've tried to tell her. She thinks I'm wrong about her.
I'm not a great driver. Recentky she spent a long weekend with me. All she does is tell me how to drive every five minutes. I feel like a 16 year old kid. Turn your wheel this way. Why are you close to curb? Are you straight in the parking spot? Go faster, go slower. I get so annoyed. It distracts me from driving. I've told her to stop. She won't. She thinks she's helping.
Is it possible to move away from Mom? I know it`s drastic, but would be so much better for you. Maybe a new start is just what you need.
...there's always the phone...mom would definitely call and the OP would definitely pick up! Physical distance is not the answer...EMOTIONAL distance and detachment are.
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Do you speak with her every day? If so, you may need to cut back a bit, until you feel better equipped to deal with her critiquing your food choices (perhaps after you've made more progress with WW//feel good about yourself). 
