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Old 11-15-2020, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Willamette Valley, Oregon
5,503 posts, read 1,771,564 times
Reputation: 8285

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We've been married for 45 years. When marijuana was approved in Oregon for recreational use I visited dispensaries for THC tincture. The tincture is easier to use then smoked marijuana, but it lasts much longer. She says I'm not the same person she married and admired. Lately I've been somewhat dizzy in the morning and I'm cold almost all the time. I don't know if this is related to THC use, but to keep my marriage intact I have thrown out anything related to THC. I also stopped drinking a few months ago so we'll see how this works all out.

Is there anyone else who has made the same decision?
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Old 11-15-2020, 07:31 PM
 
Location: Southern California
8,231 posts, read 9,612,821 times
Reputation: 8998
No personal experience w/ this, but GOOD, you did the right thing!

I would hope you wouldn't throw away 45+ yrs together over some marijuana. Plus, you started feeling negative effects anyway, so yes, it's best to leave that trash alone. In fact, you both should make it a point to live a healthier lifestyle. Do things together such as:

  • Have fun cooking new & healthy dishes
  • Meditate
  • Massage each other's bodies
  • Go on walks & breath in the fresh air
  • Drink infused water & other healthy beverages, try new teas
  • Start a relaxing new hobby or two: Art, plane/train modeling, photography, bicycling, etc.
  • Get a pet. They truly enhance life & research shows they lengthen your life
  • Start researching & taking vitamins if you don't already
  • Go on drives & see new scenery

There's more I'm not listing, but I can't list everything!
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Old 11-15-2020, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Southern MN
7,922 posts, read 4,498,512 times
Reputation: 28479
There's no telling from your post whether you had problematic use or not but i will share one thing I know with you. I worked with people with drug and alcohol problems for a living and almost to a person their version of themselves when they were using was not the same as their loved ones' versions.

By their very nature they affect us to feel like we're doing well even when we aren't. Mood-altering chemicals are sneaky that way.

You must love your spouse a lot. I hope this change is good for both of you.
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Old 11-16-2020, 09:22 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ and Redwood City, CA
10,501 posts, read 6,777,085 times
Reputation: 38556
OP, are you going to AA or getting some counseling?
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Old 11-16-2020, 09:27 AM
 
Location: southern california
60,492 posts, read 78,775,679 times
Reputation: 54438
If married for 45 years it’s very possible you are not the same person I bet $50 dollars she is not
The substance of every marriage counseling session is how can we get him to shape up
When marriage counseling addresses her role instead of just his they will cease to have a 90% marriage failure rate
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Old 11-16-2020, 09:48 AM
 
409 posts, read 102,381 times
Reputation: 820
Recreational use to me sounds like a weekend thing. Do you smoke alot? Do you commit crimes? Are you abusive? Did you get fired? It sounds pretty abrupt for a recreational user, unless the aforementioned issues apply.
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Old 11-16-2020, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Southern MN
7,922 posts, read 4,498,512 times
Reputation: 28479
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
If married for 45 years it’s very possible you are not the same person I bet $50 dollars she is not
The substance of every marriage counseling session is how can we get him to shape up
When marriage counseling addresses her role instead of just his they will cease to have a 90% marriage failure rate
I agree. A marriage requires adjustments for each other.

I'm thinking maybe that perception you have is because most women want to keep their husbands and are willing to go to counseling. If men are unhappy with their wives they are more apt to just leave rather than go to counseling.

Out of every ten women who go to treatment for drug use nine have no support. Out of ten men who go to treatment nine of them will have their wives come visit to ask how they can help. Fact. I suppose that causes a skewed perspective.

I don't know how much counseling you've experienced but most family counselors are trained to look at the family as a system in which all parts affect each other and not as though there is only one problem person. That would hardly be fair.

Depending on the issue sometimes a couple can skip counseling altogether if each is willing to make changes in order to accommodate the other. Makes things simple and cheap.
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Old 11-16-2020, 04:00 PM
 
2,071 posts, read 2,605,745 times
Reputation: 3834
I am so glad to be single.
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Old 11-16-2020, 05:39 PM
 
3,286 posts, read 1,428,235 times
Reputation: 6515
No. The dizzies in the morning and feeling cold are not a result of THC use.

What is the behaviour your wife suddenly does not like about you? Are you lazy now. Could that be because you are in your 70s and have slowed down. Are you much cheerier and that it is too much for her to handle?Are you laughing too much? Are you quieter? I haven't a clue what it could be about using pot that is bad.

Did your wife and you use it when you were young?

I was using back in the 60s and continued on up through my 50s. Then my lifestyle changed and no more pot.
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Old 11-16-2020, 05:43 PM
 
798 posts, read 370,039 times
Reputation: 960
Are you using it for medical reasons or just as a hobby? If this is medical and it makes you feel better, I find it selfish for your partner to even attempt to hold it over your head and even worst so to gaslight you with stupid comments like "you aren't not the same person i married and admired" this is blatant manipulative behavior. Heck, Even if it was for recreational use - What are you doing that's making her feel this way? sounds to me like she's projecting.

I disagree with other posts who are praising you for "doing the right thing", Being married shouldn't mean being restricted to only do what your partner wants.
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