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Old 10-22-2008, 01:57 PM
 
109 posts, read 685,160 times
Reputation: 78

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My brother is very overweight and visits my home frequently (few times per week). I do not mind his company and visits..........except for the fact that he is so large that he ruins the couch. My couch is expensive leather and it smells when he leaves and is disfigured where he sits. He is very sensitive to his weight issues and already depressed. I have not mentioned this to him.

How can I handle maintaining my relationship with him and my couch??
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Old 10-22-2008, 02:10 PM
 
8,415 posts, read 34,319,158 times
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Why is he that big? Why not get him to work on it. Somtimes a little thing like the couch can really make a person take a self check on themselves and get them motivated to change.

If you have fat that rolls you have to use powder. Get him some shower to shower power and say..I know this is rude..But here. I would rather be rude a little bit than let you be embarassed by someone else pointing it out or notcing it.
Also getting a detachable showerhead for your bathroom will help him wash better.
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Old 10-22-2008, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Southern Maine, Greater Portland
511 posts, read 774,499 times
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I am certainly no wonder of wisdom but I know what I would do. I am a big beleiver in people first things last. Things can be replaced, the precious time you have with your brother is far more valuable. Is there another seating option for him that could be added or already available? Sometimes creating a situation with no other choices such as loading the couch with stuff so there is no seat to be had forcing another seating alternative. I hope you come to a resolution.
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Old 10-22-2008, 02:18 PM
 
8,415 posts, read 34,319,158 times
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Well the people first theory is he is going to die if he stays that fat.
I mean really. You dont need to be that big and not even try to change it or even have it mentioned.
I would feel guilty not saying something. What if he has a heart attack or develops diabetes and loses a foot or goes blind?
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Old 10-22-2008, 02:41 PM
 
Location: Some place very cold
5,500 posts, read 19,506,418 times
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What does the couch smell like? Does your brother shower?

If he doesn't sit on the couch, where are you going to put him? Can you get him another chair?
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Old 10-22-2008, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,532 posts, read 35,641,148 times
Reputation: 13121
Here's a thought ... how about when your brother comes over to visit you suggest the two of yu go out for a walk. Tell him that you need to get out more and you want to start walking for your own health. That will get him off your couch and get him out doing something good for himself. The added benefit is that you will feel healthier too.
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Old 10-22-2008, 06:38 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,653 posts, read 7,260,891 times
Reputation: 3677
Quote:
Originally Posted by akire View Post
My brother is very overweight and visits my home frequently (few times per week). I do not mind his company and visits..........except for the fact that he is so large that he ruins the couch. My couch is expensive leather and it smells when he leaves and is disfigured where he sits. He is very sensitive to his weight issues and already depressed. I have not mentioned this to him.

How can I handle maintaining my relationship with him and my couch??
LMAO.... I have the same problem with my brother. He is so stinky that when he comes over I try to keep him away from my furniture but he always ends up laying on it.
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Old 10-22-2008, 06:39 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,392,137 times
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fortunately stinky relatives leave quickly. the ones that stink on the inside i worry about more.
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Old 10-23-2008, 02:41 PM
 
109 posts, read 685,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asitshouldbe View Post
LMAO.... I have the same problem with my brother. He is so stinky that when he comes over I try to keep him away from my furniture but he always ends up laying on it.
Yes! He very often will lie down on my couch! Just makes himself at home...no idea how bothersome it is to me. Or he'll use my couch pillows to lay his greasy head on....ewe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mainesnowflake View Post
I am certainly no wonder of wisdom but I know what I would do. I am a big beleiver in people first things last. Things can be replaced, the precious time you have with your brother is far more valuable. Is there another seating option for him that could be added or already available? Sometimes creating a situation with no other choices such as loading the couch with stuff so there is no seat to be had forcing another seating alternative. I hope you come to a resolution.
I agree that people are first, that's why I'm trying to be sensitive to the issue...it's not that I don't want him to visit. I've tried to be busy in the kitchen, thinking he'd sit on a kitchen chair but he will always go to the couch and sit and talk from there...my floorplan is very open. My couch is a sectional...not sure how I'd make it all covered up. He likes to sit in the corner of the sectional - he jokes that it's his spot & he has to sit in it - I might try to place pillows there, but I'm certain he'd just move them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof! View Post
What does the couch smell like? Does your brother shower?

If he doesn't sit on the couch, where are you going to put him? Can you get him another chair?
He doesn't smell that bad, but he leaves an odor behind. Like his room just stinks when you walk by it. I don't know what it is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
Here's a thought ... how about when your brother comes over to visit you suggest the two of yu go out for a walk. Tell him that you need to get out more and you want to start walking for your own health. That will get him off your couch and get him out doing something good for himself. The added benefit is that you will feel healthier too.
This is a great idea. He's been trying to work out and loose weight...he's tried it before but he never sticks with it and ends up gaining back more than he even lost. Not sure that the going for a walk idea will work in the winter though..it's already cold where we live.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
fortunately stinky relatives leave quickly. the ones that stink on the inside i worry about more.
I just don't want his odor left in my house, fine if he wants to live in it but I don't! I agree that those whom are stinky on the inside are even bigger pain in the necks!!
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Old 10-23-2008, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Montrose, CA
3,031 posts, read 7,862,833 times
Reputation: 1925
You need to tell him he stinks. Would you rather he hear something like that from a family member who loves him, or would you rather that some stranger embarrasses him someday in public by telling him he needs to bathe?
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